Lessons From My Kids on How to Live My Best Life

I've been doing a lot of reading lately. Before having kids, I would read all the time. Once I became a mom, it was impossible to find time to read and focus. Before having kids, I would read 1-2 books a day at the beach during our summer vaca to Outer Banks. After kids? Lucky if I finish one book during the whole trip. So trying to read in real life? Forget about it. But now that my kids are getting a little older and I find myself often just sitting around waiting for them at activities, I've committed to start reading more again. And, I'm glad I did. You can check out what I've been reading in the "Good Reads" section of my site - I'm also always looking for some good recommendations.

Back in October, my dad bought me the book "You are a Badass." I finished it in hours while hanging at the neighbor's pool one warm October day. It is a great book that I would highly recommend - hence me not being able to put it down. There was one section in the book that talked about our conscious and subconscious beliefs and how we learn/inherit our beliefs along the way through life experiences and people we meet. This really got me thinking a lot about how much we can learn from kids and the way they live life in the moment every single day, the way they don't care what other people think, the way they relentlessly go after what they want.

So, the excerpt from the book that stuck out to me the most on this topic, "When you came screaming onto this planet you were truly a bundle of joy, a wide-eyed creature incapable of doing anything but being in the moment. You had no idea that you had a body, let alone that you should be ashamed of it. When you looked around, everything just was. There was nothing about your world that was scary or too expansive or so last year as far as you were concerned. If something came near your mouth, you stuck it in, if it came near your hand, you grabbed it. You were simply a human...being."

When you stop and think about it, it is actually kind of crazy and amazing how much our subconscious can prevent us from really living in the moment, being our true self, taking risks, and living our best life every damn day. I've written before about how everyone we meet has something to teach us, lessons they impart upon us. But I've realized recently that the biggest teachers are front and center in my life every single day and if I would just slow down and be more present I could learn a lot from my kids and the way they live and experience life.

So, here are my top five lessons (in alpha order) that I have learned from my kids. They can apply professionally and personally and are a great reminder on how beautiful life can be when you are true to yourself and focus on living in the moment. 

1. Be Confident: I love how kids don't care what others think of them. While I cringe a little on the inside when my son leaves the house in the clothes he's picked out sometimes (or my daughter when she does her own hair), I also have a tinge of joy seeing how proud they are of themselves and how confident they feel with how they look. It's easy to let self-doubt and fear of how others may perceive you creep in ...but remember you are a badass. Trust in yourself, in your beliefs, your abilities and you will see success. Get out of your own head - be confident in yourself and trust your instinct. There is something to be said for having the confidence in just being you, and the conviction to stand up for yourself and what you believe in.
2. Be Curious: If you have ever spent even 5 minutes with a child it should be no surprise that we are born with a curious nature which is most prevalent when we are younger. Kids seem to be amazed by everything and are sponges who seem to have an incredible desire to learn. Over time, we tend to lose some of that curiosity as we go through school and our learning becomes more externally directed versus fully based on our own curiosities. But staying curious and inquisitive is a great way to continue your personal and professional development. Never stop asking questions, never stop reading, and never stop asking why. Being inquisitive is how we learn, and there is always more to be learned. 
3. Be Fearless: You want to talk about living without fear? Spend a few hours with my 5-year-old son. My little dude doesn't hesitate to embark on anything even remotely adventurous or dangerous. With so many ER visits under my belt, I'm certainly not encouraging you to live dangerously like a 5-year-old boy, but there is something about the fearlessness that many children have, like speaking or singing in front of large audiences with no worry or the dangerous activities my son always seems to find himself caught up in. But kids don't have all that experience with rejection built up like us adults, all the subconscious reasons why we fear things, so they tend to live more fearlessly and often do first and think later (if at all). While this may not always be ideal, when you live outside your comfort zone and don't let fear overtake you, it's amazing how much you can grow and what you can accomplish. I would encourage you to do one thing a week that takes you out of your comfort zone - the growth you will see within yourself will amaze you.
4. Be Kind: Kids are born to accept others and to not judge. They don't see differences in skin color, social class, abilities, etc - they often see everyone as equal and as a potential friend. With all the hate in the world, we can all learn a lot from the way kids are so accepting, the way they find pure joy in doing for others and being kind. Life experiences and the people we meet tend to jade many adults over time. We build up unconscious biases and we get grumpy from life's unfair circumstances and we forget that a simple smile can brighten up someone's days. I've found kids to be some of the most accepting, caring individuals I've ever met. If nothing else, just please be kind to everyone you meet. You never know what someone is going through, and a smile really is a powerful thing. 
5. Be Present: When kids are doing something, they are in the moment and laser-focused on the task at hand - the rest of the world does not exist. When you are present, everything about you is completely focused on what you are doing at the moment. With technology always at our fingertips and inboxes always overflowing, we tend to multi-task often at work and at home. While it may feel like you are being more productive in the moment, studies have shown there is a lack of retention and decline in productivity from multi-tasking. When you are present your productivity actually increases, you are more alert and better able to solve problems, and your interactions with others are more meaningful. This is one I have been especially working on and it's amazing how much better I feel when I am fully focused and truly living in the moment. 

When you view the world through the eyes and mind of a child, the world just seems to become a brighter and better place. Children live in a world of magic and innocence because they haven't yet been jaded by life experiences. You want to live in that state of magic and wonder? Let all the bullshit go and be true to yourself and live with intention. Work on letting go of all those subconscious beliefs and biases that aren't true to who you are.

While there is a lot that we can learn from how kids live their lives and perceive the world around them, the one thing kids don't have is total control over their life. But as an adult you can choose what you let in and what you let go. You can choose where you spend your time and who you spend it with. Embrace your inner child today - it really is possible to return back to that child-like state but with the self-awareness and responsibility of a productive and successful adult. It's all about your mindset and perspective.

"Sometimes you need to look at life from a different perspective."