Lessons from my favorite veteran, Ron Coughlin Snr.

With?gratitude, respect and admiration for all who have served?in the United States Armed Forces, I thought I would share lessons from my favorite Veteran.

This week, the Coughlin family said a final goodbye to Ron Coughlin Senior, who passed away at the age of 86 surrounded by his family.

By any measure, my father was an incredible man.

But his legacy will always center on how much he cared… for his family… for those he considered friends or friends of his kids… for his country and for his firm. He also passionately cared for the Brooklyn Dodgers and then, the New York Mets.?

Throughout my life, I counted on him to mentor and guide me. In high stress interviews or tough career moments, he was the call that put it all in perspective, that helped me create a plan, and get me to the other side.

From the day I got my first job offer, when he took me to buy my first three suits at Brooks Brothers and passed on one of his tan classic overcoats and his old briefcase, to my time at Petco, where the executive committee and I lovingly referred to him as ‘The CEO Emeritus’, he was always there to provide advice, counsel, and support.?

But the amazing thing is… this wasn’t just my experience; it was the same experience for anyone who spent time with him. During college and early in my career, he was the person all my friends turned to for advice on their resumes, or help preparing for a job interview. He cared enough to help everyone.?

After my dad passed, multiple friends reached out to say just how special he was, what an enormous impact he’d had on their life, and how helpful, warm, and caring he had always been. He built a well-deserved reputation for generously giving his time, even though he had his own kids and was a partner at a major consulting firm.

His character and charm always shone through, whatever the setting. So much so, that when I was being honored last year at the Irish Arts Center’s Welcome Home Spirit of Ireland Gala in New York, his instant connection with so many attendees meant that by the time the night was over, it felt like Ron Sr was the honoree – and rightly so.?

My father loved his country and other than raising his children, he would say that his time as an officer in the Navy was a life highlight. Needless to say, today’s hyper-polarization troubled him greatly.

At Booz Allen, his job was convincing talented successful people to leave their company and join the firm. And he was notorious for not only having a golden voice but for also calling them unsuspectedly on Sunday nights and making these recruits feel like they would be well taken care of.?

One of the most poignant things I learned from him was about how and when to show up.?He taught me how to spit shine my shoes, tie a tie and iron my shirts (with lots of starch of course) – skills he no doubt honed while in the Navy. And he taught me that preparing on Sunday nights and showing up early meant you had a running start in a competitive world. My dad was a big believer that everything has an impact.

On the baseball field, he was a catcher, like his Great Grandfather and Grandfather before him, and like myself, my brother, son, nephew and niece. More than just a family trait, it exemplified his approach to life. Like a Naval “Officer of the deck”, the catcher sets the tempo and controls the flow of the game for the Manager.?The catcher also does a lot of the dirty work as it’s tough on the knees and you have to block balls in the dirt with your body no matter how fast, but it’s those personal sacrifices that help make a team successful.?

But above all else, the most important thing he taught me was the power of compassion.

He was an animal lover all his life. It’s impossible to imagine him in my mind without seeing paintings of chickens, rabbits and birds around the house, or without a golden retriever by his side. Not only did his love of animals foster my own, but his compassion was self-evident in the way he treated them. The back seats of his Jeeps were their seats and he drove around with his window down even in winter because they liked it! And it was a compassion that also extended to every person he met, whatever walk of life they came from. His mailman was at his bedside days before he passed and at the service, his landscaper told me Dad was his best friend.

These are the lessons I will always remember, and I know I speak for many when I say just how much he will be missed. An impressive man, with a gentle heart, who spent his entire life and career, leading, taking care of and nurturing people. I’ll never forget the lessons, and I strive to encourage others the way he did.

?Just like the New York Mets adopted the team color and many fans of the Brooklyn Dodgers when they launched in 1962, my siblings, our kids and many of our friends carry my dad’s character in us, and we are all the better for it!