Lessons From My Father: A Life Well-Lived, a legacy, no regrets.

Aspirational qualities for living a successful and happy life.

If there is a silver lining in this unprecedented time it is a little more head space to ponder life. If you find yourself considering the kind of parent, friend, community member or teammate at work you want to be, I’d like to share a few ‘little things’ I’ve learned from my father who recently passed away at 68 years young. The little things have proven to be big things in my life. It is my hope that they tie your family closer, help you deliver the impact you want to make professionally, or give you even more joy personally as they have for me. 

Like my dad, at 68 most assume they will be starting retirement. The truth is, you never know. Fortunately, my dad was lucky because he didn’t wait until then to live fully. My father passed away after living a truly wonderful life. He fought a battle with cancer that he approached with an immeasurable level of grace at the end of a life packed with joy. He met the love of his life and they were married for 50 years, raised eight children and twenty-one grandchildren, and always found time to collect lifelong friends with every new adventure. He attracted positive, loving, and true friends into his life and the lives of our family. 

My father was a family man who was somehow able to balance a vigorous work ethic. He was truly passionate about the role he played serving his clients Stifel but also managed to be a die-hard fan for each and every team we were blessed to be a part of. He was positivity, vision, and inspiration professionally, on the field and personally. He had an eye for the long game and could always see beyond the present challenges. 

For me, my dad has always been my hero, my biggest fan, and unconditional love in action. I will always miss him but I’ll carry him with me in all aspects of my life thanks to his incredible example. The list of his greatest traits is long and I’m grateful to share with you some of the lessons I learned from the privilege of being his daughter. 

Impeccable work ethic. My dad was a living, breathing example that actions mean more than words. He was regimented, an early riser, and always stuck to the plan. His clients knew they could count on him for consistency, honesty, and for treating the gift of their business with the highest amount of respect. He respected work and the need to be present, engaged, and always deserving of his clients’ trust. 

Constant learner. My dad was a voracious reader and always wanted to get better at his craft. This was never an ‘on the clock’ development process. He took the time to study, prepare and better himself to ensure he could show up as a better version of himself every day, for his work and family. 

Incredible listener. He listened respectfully when you spoke and made you feel like your words mattered. He never assumed what would come out of your mouth next - he waited for it patiently and was present with you. He was never in a rush, or at least he had a way of making you feel that way. Putting people at ease in that way is a true gift. 

Control. Dad recognized the difference between things you can control and things that you can’t, and always knew how to respond. He knew when to stress and take action and when he needed to be patient and enjoy the storm. This innate certainty enabled him to always focus on what was most important in any given moment and to be present.

Family first. He always showed up, whether it was for conversations about work and job changes or lacrosse games (his favorite). He would never turn down a chance to give you a ride literally anywhere when you could have taken an Uber, a flight, or even walked. He gave no thought to his own convenience or how tired he was.

Tapping into potential. My father had an amazing ability to help bring your potential to light. When I ran cross country, for example, he would tell me... “They don’t know.” I always knew what he meant... there’s more inside of you, you can do anything, tap into the reserve tank. 

Humility and generosity. He provided for our family and was always quietly supporting others financially and emotionally. Despite his endless responsibilities, he found ways to quietly do nice things to lift people up when they needed it. An unexpected hug, a genuine thank you, or a simple gesture - he always did whatever it took to see that those around him were all okay. 

He lived a wonderful life and I hope you will too.