Lessons From My Father

This week, our family commemorates the 25th anniversary of the passing of my father. He died fairly young at 51 but I still have fond memories and learned a lot from him when I was young. I wanted to take a moment to reflect and share some of these learning, how they made me who I am and how they shaped my life and career. Here are four of them. These are the first that came to mind. I'm sure there's more:

• Never give-up: My father grew-up in a small farm in the Moroccan countryside. He came from a humble background, was an orphan at 2 and was raised by his mum and uncle. He ended-up being the first one in his family getting a college degree and lifting himself up to an urban middle-class life. Against all odds, he succeeded because he didn't let his condition define him and never gave-up on his dreams. My grand uncle used to tell me this story when I was a kid that, after finishing primary school, my dad had to walk 7 miles everyday to go to middle-school which was in the closest town to our farm. After a year of doing that and noticing that he's not giving-up on his education, my uncle sold some livestock and bought him a bicycle so he can get to school on time. Eventually, when he got to high-school, my dad went to live in town with my aunt so can get his baccalaureate degree. Here is a picture of him on the bicycle.

• Assume good intent: I always remember my dad being an optimist. He hardly complained and never let his background define him. He always smiled, laughed and saw the good in people even when my mum or other family and friends warned him against. You can call it a bit of naivety, but he assumed good intent and, while he got disappointed sometimes, he kept embracing that philosophy. When I asked him about it once, he said that holding grudges is not good for your gut. Let it go and, as long as one out of ten deserved that trust, that's a ratio he can live with and that was worth giving it a shot. After he passed away, I met people over years that knew him. All had fond memories. None could say something negative, and all had a good story to tell. I guess that's a legacy that makes it worth believing in what's good in people and assuming positive intent. I like this picture of him as it embodies who he was for me, a smiling dreamer.

• Enjoy everyday: I guess, because he came from a humble background where he studied under candlelight and only had couple of pants and shirts for school, he enjoyed everyday when he grew-up and could make a living of his own. I remember growing up in a house where we always had visitors and entertained guests every week. We travelled and went to fancy restaurants when we could. We spent our summers in a small beach cabin and thought it was the best vacation ever. We read books and travelled through our imagination. We grew-up with cousins that were almost brothers and sisters to us. Life is short, enjoy everyday as if it's the last. Don't postpone to tomorrow what you can do today. Surround yourself with friends and family you love and always have fun. Happiness and laughs are contagious and can help you climb mountains and remove any barrier that's inhibiting you from being your best. I call it work hard, play hard and so far it helped me weather the storms, lifted me in moments of doubt and helped me see the glass half full. This is a picture of my mom and dad having fun with friends... and that happened a lot.

• Pay it forward: because my dad was the first (and one of the few) in his family to get a college degree and be able to climb the social ladder, lot of his childhood friends and family depended on him. He helped everyone he could whether they were close relatives or came recommended by someone he knew. Sometimes it meant finding them a job, or just lending them a suit so they can show-up at their best for an interview. Other times, it meant hosting nephews, nieces and cousins at our house so they can finish their college degree in the big city. He believed in paying it forward just like my uncle and aunt did when he was a kid. He always shared what he had and never expected anything in return. It's now called servant leadership but it's something that seemed natural to me growing-up. Do what is right and don't expect anything back. One day, someone you helped and - that you probably barely remember - will come to you and tell you how that lifted him up at a moment he needed it the most. That's priceless and worth doing it. This is a picture of my dad with his college class of 68. Some of them remained lifetime friends. They lifted each other and didn't expect something in return.

Hope these few lessons will ring a bell and, if they help someone in their life and career journey, then it was totally worth spending the time putting them into paper.