Lessons From My Aunt’s Battle With Cancer: Reflections on Love, Loss, and Life for 2025 and Beyond.

I know I have been missing in action.

I know what follows is technically not about "legal money", but in my opinion, it's about something much more important.

So...

Let’s get one thing straight: life has hands. Heavy ones. Over the past year, I’ve taken punches I didn’t see coming, but the hardest landed on September 25, 2024, when my aunt—my godmother and second mom—lost her seven-year battle with cancer.

She wasn’t just an aunt. She was a safe haven and one of the strongest people I’ve ever known. Losing her was like losing a part of myself. Grief has been relentless, but in its own way, it’s also been a teacher.

Today, I want to share the lessons I’ve learned from her fight, her life, and her death. One thing I know for sure: my aunt didn’t live quietly, and she wouldn’t want me to reflect on her life quietly, either. I have been writing about most of these things for years, but in 2025, I WILL read my own words and follow my own advice daily...daily.

Lesson 1: Plans Are Cute Until Reality Claps Back

My aunt was clear about how she wanted to leave this world: no resuscitation, no surgeries, no prolonged measures. She had made peace with life’s final chapter—or so I thought.

Then March 2024 hit. She was rushed to the hospital, struggling to breathe and refusing to eat. I sat by her bed as she looked me dead in the eyes and said, “I want full code.” Full. Code. Meaning: “Do everything humanly possible to keep me alive.”

This was the same woman who’d told me, “When it’s my time, let me go.” Suddenly, she was calling for overtime. It was like watching a retired boxer step back into the ring, gloves on, ready to fight.

And fight she did. That decision gave her a few more precious months with us—months that mattered.

The lesson? It’s easy to say what you’d do in the face of death when it’s hypothetical. But when the Grim Reaper shows up, most of us want to buy more time. That’s not weakness—it’s survival.

Lesson 2: People Over Possessions

In her last six months, my aunt didn’t care about material things unless it was deciding who got what after she was gone. What she wanted was time—with her people, "good" food (anything but hospital food!), and laughter.

She shared stories, gave life advice, and cracked jokes—even from her hospital bed. One day, she asked me to bring her car to the hospital so she could “drive herself home.” I actually don't think it was a joke, but Sis couldn’t sit up, but she had plans.

After she passed, it really drove home an important thing about life as we are taught to live it: we spend so much of our lives chasing things—money, titles, status, Instagram-worthy moments. But when it’s all said and done, none of that matters. The only things that endure are the love we share and the memories we make.

So, before you skip another family dinner for overtime or stress over impressing people who don’t even like you, ask yourself: Will this matter when I’m 90? If the answer’s no, reevaluate.

Lesson 3: Health Is the Real Flex

Watching my aunt’s health decline was like watching someone fight a losing battle against an unbeatable opponent. Every victory was fleeting, and every setback hit harder than the last.

Health isn’t a luxury—it’s the foundation. It’s not about kale smoothies or CrossFit (though, hey, do you). It’s about making choices today that let you enjoy tomorrow. Schedule the check-up. Drink the water. And for the love of all that’s good, stop eating so much crappy food (note to self).

Lesson 4: Control What You Can, Let Go of the Rest

Cancer taught me—and her—that life isn’t fair. My aunt didn’t choose her diagnosis, and I couldn’t fight it for her. But what we could do was show up for each other.

In her final days, work emails didn’t matter. Petty arguments didn’t matter. What mattered was holding her hand, making her laugh, and reminding her she wasn’t alone.

Life is chaotic, and most of it is beyond our control. But here’s the cheat code: focus on what you can control. Guard your time like it’s your Netflix password. Spend it on what truly matters.

Grief and Gratitude: A Balancing Act

Grief is a wild ride. One minute, you’re fine. The next, you’re crying because a song, picture or movie reminded you of them. But as much as it hurts, it also sharpens your focus on what truly matters.

James Baldwin once said, “Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.” My aunt embodied that. She loved deeply, fought bravely, and taught me to live without regrets.

Carrying Her Lessons Forward

This year, I’ve made a resolution—not about losing weight or reading more books (though I wouldn’t mind). It’s about living each day like the gift it is.

I’m prioritizing what matters: my health, my time, and my people.

To my aunt: thank you for everything—for the love, the laughter, and the lessons. You will be missed dearly.

Your Turn

What lessons have you learned from loss? How do you honor the people you’ve loved and lost? I’d love to hear your stories, your thoughts, and even your tips for staying grounded in a chaotic world.

And if you’ve been putting off that doctor’s appointment, consider this your sign. Go take care of yourself. Life’s too short for anything less.