Lessons From a Midlife Crisis

Recently, I picked up enough followers on TikTok to have access to some interesting tools they put out to help creators. I learned that last week the number one trending phrase was, “God saw I was struggling, so he sent me…”

People are finishing the sentence. Some of the answers are really sweet and encouraging.

The other tool I have is that I can see what my 9,500 or so followers are searching for…and the number one phrase my followers are looking up is “midlife crisis.”

That adds up since I picked up almost all my followers there talking about GenX. Tis’ the season for us, I suppose.

The funny thing for me was that these two trending phrases work together perfectly to describe my recent personal journey.

God saw that I was struggling, so he sent me…a midlife crisis.

That’s probably not how I’d say it in my own words, but it is true.

I hadn’t been myself for a few years.

I wrote about this before, specifically in my very first Substack post a few months back.

I was struggling with depression and anxiety at a level that I hadn’t experienced before. I was starting to feel hopeless. I didn’t want to wake up many mornings. Every day was a struggle to try to find the energy to be somewhat remotely close to my best.

I was simply out of alignment with my life’s work.

Some people have more emotional capacity to be out of line with their work. They find a way to be generally ok even when work is hard. Leave it at the office and whatnot. I just have never had the ability to do that.

My personal life was as good as ever, apart from the fact that I was a huge downer and was pulling those whom I love most down with me. I knew I had to just accept some measure of failure, real and perceived, to move on to what I had discovered I was truly called to do.

Before this post digresses into full-on therapy for me, here are two things I believe might be helpful for you:

1. You may be out of alignment like I was. Please don’t hear that it means you must quit your job. It did for me, but it doesn’t mean that most of the time.
2. If you are out of alignment, “God may send you a crisis.” And whoever or whatever you believe God to be or not be, it’s not because God is a jerk. It’s because a crisis is what you need to see how out of alignment you truly are. You might need to let everyone know that you’re a little lost. That you haven’t been yourself for a while now. That you failed. And that now you need to accept it, make amends if need be, and move on to what’s next. As hard as those moments are, they always have a way of bringing healing, clarity, and hope.

If you’re in a season of depression, anxiety, apathy, or fear, know that I get it.

Get the help you need.

See a counselor, see your doctor, do your healthy daily practices, adjust your meds, talk to those you love.

But also know that once you admit that you are in a personal crisis, be it midlife or not, that’s not a bad thing.

It sucks that you’re here.

But once you admit it, you can enter triage.

We are all here to discover our unique life callings and live great adventures.

I can absolutely assure you that your unique calling will be forged in your biggest pains and failures.

But it can only reveal itself to you after you wave the white flag.

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