Lessons from Maternity Leave

On April 1st 2018, whilst on holiday in Japan, I found out I was pregnant with our first baby. After the initial shock had worn off, and we had flown back to London, I then had to navigate going back into work, and frankly I was a bit terrified. Despite having managed a couple of people who had gone on maternity leave I had largely relied on our operations teams to deal with the detail and I knew very little about what to do, and crucially how to do it well.?

The first challenge was keeping it quiet - I had just signed up to do a masters which would be financially supported by the organisation, I had only been in my role for 12 months and the organisation was about to embark on a change project which would see everyone’s roles change dramatically. I was, despite working in a very supportive organisation in the charity sector, worried that being pregnant would somehow be used against me in these conversations.?

When I eventually told our CEO, she was of course nothing but supportive, and it helped that she was also due the same week as me. My experience of maternity from that moment on was a whirlwind, but I wanted to take the opportunity to share some of the things which Arts SU and LSESU and others did to make me feel supported in the hope that organisations can learn from the experience.

Communication and planning is key!

When we announced our maternities, we did so with a clear plan. Our due dates were a few days apart so we planned to leave on the same day, and take the same amount of leave so as to reduce disruption. We knew the change project coming up was going to be big so we took the opportunity to seek out change managers as our covers, in line with organisational change theory.

We told the staff team exactly what was going to happen next, when it was going to happen and what it meant for them. We wouldn’t have been able to do this if we hadn’t spent the time clearly communicating with each other and our Boards/colleagues about our preferences and expectations, and planning strategically. As a result the staff team were calmer and so were we.

Involve those going on leave in the cover for their role

When we began the recruitment process, I was consulted at every stage and actively involved. I was given the opportunity to come up with some ideas myself about internal options - though these were eventually not pursued, I felt in control of the situation and listened to.?

When we went out to recruit for the interim positions, I lead one of the interview stages and was able to give my views on who would best take care of the role. This meant that I had been able to articulate in advance what my expectations were of the person covering for me and that we all started off on the same page.

I met a lot of women on maternity leave who were not involved in the decisions regarding the cover of their role, many of them from the charity sector. They were cut out and as a result they didn’t have trust in the process or the people covering their roles. Some were worried that the person appointed would want to stay on and that they would be let go as a result. Many had their first KIT day and came back despondent about how differently the person was doing their job - panicking that it meant that they would be expected to do it differently themselves when they came back. All of this adds unnecessary stress which could be easily avoided.

Recruit strategically

I had already met Kate at various conferences and I was very impressed by her; she made a great team with her CEO, so when she applied for the role I was over the moon. When she was appointed we talked openly about our expectations - I knew that Kate would be a safe pair of hands to navigate the organisation through the change-project coming up and she reassured me that she saw her role as making sure that I had an organisation I wanted to come back to.?

This was a very important theme throughout my leave as well - Kate made it clear that she saw the role as mine and that she was there as a change-manager. Kate would drop me an email every now and then when there were big decisions being made so that I could give some input if I wanted to, but not for every little decision - her judgement on this was impeccable and on the one occasion I felt a little overwhelmed she immediately rolled back on the communications.

I was also very keen that Kate got useful experience out of it too, and I tried to make sure that she had all of the information she might need to be successful in the role. We discussed what things Kate might do differently to me so that it prepared me - that way I understood in what ways our styles were different, and gave me time to process how Kate might approach things. This really helped when I had pangs of anxiety about what was going on in the office when I was at home scrolling through the Arts SU Twitter feed - Kate made it clear that she was there to take the organisation through the change process and would therefore need to do things differently to me.

Business as usual is not usual and everyone needs to be mindful of that.

So, we had appointed our interim team, we had set the date to leave...? now it was just the small matter of getting on with business as usual. The team at work were great - I didn’t particularly want to talk about being pregnant all the time and people largely respected that. But actually being in the office when pregnant was harder than I thought it would be; not just because of being out of breath all the time, the unseasonable heat, or the constant nausea… but because I was suddenly aware of every woman in the office - were they struggling with infertility? Had they had an abortion? A miscarriage? Were they going through Menopause? The impact of my pregnant presence weighed heavily on my mind.?

I was extremely grateful for those women who did reach out and let me know how it made them feel because I was able to try and change my behaviours as much as possible to reduce that burden on them, though I’m sure I could have done more. One of the most useful things someone said to me was to be mindful that I wasn’t asking other women who may be recovering from such a trauma to expend any additional personal resources to support my pregnancy. They were already expending enough resources being genuinely happy for me, whilst tending to their own personal wellbeing in the face of their experiences.

I wasn’t apologetic about being pregnant, and I didn’t suddenly start pretending I wasn’t pregnant, but this conversation reminded me how lucky I was to have got that far and that our collective inclusivity responsibilities to each other don’t stop when you become pregnant.?

Creating spaces where staff feel comfortable to talk about their feelings and to express themselves without judgement is something SUs do better than anyone else. But sometimes in being inclusive for one very visibly different group, we can often forget about making space for those whose differences are less visible.?

Sort out your maternity policies and procedures.?

There are lots of things you can do to make pregnant women’s lives easier, but make sure you have it all in order before someone gets pregnant. After announcing, I was given a health and safety assessment, allowed to change my hours and work from home once or twice a week. I was given time off to attend the hundreds of appointments you are required to go to without any questions asked. Someone sat down with me and explained how KIT days work and mapped out how my pay would work - our maternity package was 19 weeks full pay. Enhanced maternity/paternity/shared parental packages are so vital to an inclusive organisation - if you want to employ and retain the best staff, its a great place to start.

We asked the Board if we could spread the payments out across the whole of our maternity leave. This worked out great because it meant my monthly salary payments were largely consistent and I didn’t have to worry about saving up at the beginning or running out of money at the end. I was lucky, I was already a senior manager with a great pay package, and I honestly wonder how those on SMP or SMA get by.

Not all of this was in the handbook, which meant that we had to ask for some of it. Less confident staff members may not have done. Inclusivity policies should be obvious and clear so that they are easily accessible in a time of need.

I was incredibly lucky that my partner was given 8 weeks paid paternity leave and that we knew the exact date of delivery, as I was booked in for a C-Section. If you are responsible for your organisation’s maternity/paternity/adoption leave policy go and make sure that everyone involved in raising a child gets at least 6 weeks full pay, and that the clock doesn’t start ticking until the baby is at least born, or event better, give them the freedom to pick when the 6 weeks starts themselves (see: ‘Birthday Pegs’).?

The idea that I would have been left alone with a baby just two weeks after giving birth, or even less if the baby had been late, is absolutely unimaginable. After a C-Section you are warned against moving for 6 weeks and the loneliness of those first few weeks is highly underestimated. I have nothing but respect and admiration for single parents, and organisations should do anything they can to help lighten the tremendous load.

Give people space to breathe.

The final day in the office came about, we got some lovely gifts and cards, speeches were made and we left everyone to have a few drinks without us. By this point I was exhausted, and whilst I was very grateful for my send-off, I just wanted to go home and sleep, so I did.?

I asked Kate not to contact me for two months after the baby was born and that was definitely the right choice; they respected my decision and I didn’t hear a peep from work for that whole time. I can’t stress how important this is - I love working, and I’m deeply deeply nosey, I love to know what’s going on - but in those first 8 weeks if anyone had tried to talk shop with me I think it would have broken me. Nothing can prepare you for those first 6-8 weeks - you are drained, you are tired, you have no resources left. Don’t ask people for anything at all during that time unless they actively reach out to you.

But give them the option to be involved where you can.

After the? 8 weeks had passed, Kate would often send me messages and pictures of things which were going on at work, and didn’t get annoyed or upset if I didn’t respond. She asked for my opinion or advice every now and then by email so I could choose to read it or not and gave me time to be involved in the big things if I wanted to be. It was great, and I couldn’t have asked for a better experience from Kate.

In February I was called back in to work for some individual consultations about my role during the change-project. My role was at risk, but I was being matched into a different role. I felt quite relaxed about the situation and it helped that Kate had been very open and honest with me about the decision making process. Kate gave me lots of room to talk about my opinions about the restructure and I met up with other colleagues so that we could combine our thoughts into something coherent.?

Knowing that I was being actively involved as much as possible, and being regularly kept up to date (without the expectation of a response) meant I felt quite relaxed about what was going on. They made sure that there were roles available for all of the people on maternity leave, and stayed true to our organisational values throughout the whole restructure, which was very impressive given how quickly they had to embody them.?

Give them options for professional development, no matter how small.

A month in to my maternity leave, I went back to continue my masters; it was a risk but I had waited a long time to get on the course and I didn’t want to give up my place which I had signed up to before I got pregnant. I had been given substantial extensions to my assignments until the following October and had organised a pumping room for the teaching days. The first session back was incredible - I felt like I hadn’t used my brain for 6 weeks and suddenly all my synapses were firing again.?

Continuing my masters was one of the most fulfilling things I did - it was hard to find the time to read & write but I was disciplined about reading during nap times and in the evening and lucky enough to enlist the support of my parents and my partner’s parents for a write up day once a month. I also got an audio-book subscription (a great present for anyone going on maternity leave btw) which meant I could plough through some of the reading list whilst taking the baby for a walk which I did for about 4+ hours a day.?

I still felt that I was developing in a professional sense alongside the intense personal development I was experiencing. Not everyone will want to do a course whilst on maternity leave but I feel very strongly about organisations giving people the option to do something if they want to.

As part of my course I shadowed an amazing CEO for 2 days and learnt a lot about the impact maternity leave can have on womens’ careers if organisations allow perceptions prevail? that maternity leave and returning to work part time results in a ‘de-skilling’ of women. I was determined to smash that myth and am even more determined to make sure I never legitimise it as I go forward.?

I used some of my coursework to support the organisation on its change-project including using a KIT day to run an organisational culture workshop at an away day and tailored my assignments to the organisation to make sure that the organisation got something back from its investment and to show that I was still invested in the organisation. Kate made space for this and provided me with all the information I would need; this collaborative approach meant that the staff team always saw us working together and never in competition with each other which set the tone for my return, everyone was excited but clearly wanted to find a way to accommodate both Kate and I in the organisation.

Towards the end of my leave Kate suggested I do a Spotlight personality test and undertake coaching session with a member of the team. This helped me to understand all of the ways I had changed whilst on leave and reminded me of all of the ways I hadn’t changed. It gave me time and space to reflect and prepare myself for the months ahead, and gave me something to read back on when I was panicking about how I could possibly go back to doing 121s and PowerPoints after spending so much time singing nursery rhymes and changing nappies. Your whole personality can change in that time so give people space and time to reflect before they jump back in.

Don’t be surprised if your employee doesn’t want to come back, it’s (probably) not personal.

Despite being very aware of how lucky I am that at the end of the restructure I was matched into a role of a similar level with a similar wage, by October I knew I had changed too much in the previous 12 months to go back to Arts SU. I LOVE working at Arts SU and really didn’t want to move jobs but this feeling, combined with my new skills, crippling London nursery fees and a desire to move closer to our families meant I was at a crossroads. I started applying for CEO jobs in the area we wanted to move to and was very fortunate to be offered a new role at Oxford Brookes SU.

Arts SU have been incredibly supportive of me from the day I started in 2015 until my last day in the office. I’m so excited to start afresh and grow some roots in a new part of the world, but I know I wouldn’t be where I am today without the support of my colleagues at Arts SU. So this blog is dedicated to all of the things Arts SU did right. Arts SU’s approach made me feel relaxed and stress free whilst on leave and gave me the confidence to keep on growing, and I urge everyone else to take these small steps too.