Lessons from the Mat: Being the Best Teammate Ever

We have all met that person. Whether it is a running race, cards, eating contest, see who can spit the furthest, they NEED to win. They hate to lose. They hate losing more than they like to win. I can tell you, that I was that guy in my earlier years and especially when I was a collegiate athlete on the crew team. To be honest, though, I had to be. My idea of being a great teammate was to push myself to my own physical boundaries and beyond so that it may mean that my teammates didn't have to push it that far. This resulted in an inflated ego and even resentment towards some of my teammates. "Do you know what I do for you people??". But, being a 20 something year old on a team of 40+ testosterone drunk males, this was what I thought was the best way I could lead and to be a good teammate.

Flash forward 15 years. I am a little older, a little wiser. I am still competitive and disciplined, but my arena has shifted from the physical to the intellectual. I have grown and matured where I truly love to see friends and coworkers achieve their goals and succeed. One friend bought his dream home. Another is a real estate mogul and successful entrepreneur. Another is about to buy his father's business. And I couldn't be more happy for all of them.

In our gym, a couple of the guys are going to compete in the Pan-Am Games. The last couple of months has been focused on fine tuning their game, getting in and out of certain situations, and of course cutting weight. This is not a gym rule, and it did not have to be spoken either, but naturally the whole gym started to cut the weight a little bit as well. Not as much as those competing, but if one of us is in a camp, it feels the whole gym is in camp. The intensity rises and the focus is heightened.

I had the pleasure of working out with one of those competing in the games. I can say that in my earlier years I would have been a HORRIBLE training partner. "Why can't we work on what I want to work on? Why does he get to work on passing guard and when is it my turn to attack? I don't like this take down, why do I have to practice it?" It is not about me, it is about him, and HIS success is OUR success. As a team, as a gym, and as a family.

The session was spent mostly playing defense, giving him "friendly reminders" to tighten up a position, but not too much of a fit to break his confidence. Being a week, or so out of competition, confidence is key. You want to build that confidence every day until the day of the match so that they feel prepared, and that they belong to be there.

Could I have gone harder? Could I have exploited some weaknesses in his game? Of course. But that was not the time, nor the place. Result: He got in a good workout, actually losing 4 lbs in water weight in one session to be exact. He felt a lot more confident in his ground game, and he had a better game plan for his take down approach. Time will tell how he performs, but my role was fulfilled.

Being the best teammate means being whatever your team needs you to be to help them reach THEIR goals. That comes in many shapes and sizes. Do they need a kick in the pants, or an arm around the shoulder? Where is that balance of pushing someone, but not too hard that they start doubting themselves and their skillset? The answer lies in culture. Building a tight knit culture and community that teammates don't have to ask you for help because you have already offered before they could even ask the question.

I think the most powerful point here is that I gladly would be a tackling dummy for my teammate because I know when the day comes, he would do the same for me. Without question and without hesitation. They would do so without expecting anything in return either. There is that respect that only comes from battling, experience the highs and the lows, the bumps and bruises, failures and successes. Building a strong culture starts with respecting one another, and respect isn't given, it's earned.

Have your teammates respect each other, then the rest is all ball ball bearings.

"The strength of the pack is the wolf. The strength of the wolf is the pack."