Lessons from Maslow, Theresa, and Covey - Finding a best life, for benefit of others!
Happy Thanksgiving Week.?I wish you gratitude, contentment, and joy, this season, and extended time to share with loved ones.
Marketing campaigns generally hook us by inspiring with solutions to our unhappiness! ?They solve the problem of discontent with “a temporary stuff” solution, that surely offers enjoyment, elation, and bliss, through a single PRODUCT.
Marketers present the obvious! ?If we only purchase this house, that car, or chisel a best body using XYZ supplement, or that exercise equipment, and wear branded apparel, our status and personal delight shall improve. ?If we attend the right schools, outstanding opportunities will avail.?No doubt, we will FINALLY be content.?We may experience nirvana!
We know it isn’t true, but we buy the excess anyway.?Shrewdly, marketers understand that the humans struggle with contentment. ?Enticing the masses, to a product where people perceive themselves deserving,?that excites them, or that appeals to a larger ideal, and you have the recipe for, “SOLD to the highest bidder!” ?After all, most non-recurring purchases are complete at a single decision point, even if they fail to animate in the “happily ever after”.
The problem with the humanity is that we live in a temporal time block (the beginning and the end) where provision matters (Maslow’s Needs), and yet we long for the transcendent,?something deeper to satisfy an eternal soul. (Theresa)
We can deny it as we wish, but it's true. ?Virginia Slims told the young lady, “you’ve come a long way, baby”. ?Burger King, insists that “you can have it your way”. ?Disneyland, is “the happiest place on earth”. ?We can “just do it” with Nike. ?DeBeers assures that “a diamond is forever”. ?MasterCard avers, that “there are some things that money can’t buy, for everything else there is MasterCard”. ?“You're in good hands” with Allstate and BMW gives “it’s buyer the ultimate driving machine.”
Looking at life’s longings, most people might include arching themes like growth/maturity, control of “the how” through life circumstance, happiness, self-determinism, forever, an infinite, safety/protection,?and “the ultimate” in everything. ?Those high wants are woven with some eternal desires. ?Tie them to a product, and bundle the item with the individual’s purpose/need/wants and commerce happens!
So what are some ways to get to the happy life, that fully satisfies, (Covey -Abundance Mentality ) with fewer gaps that sellers may use to inspire purchases of anything? ?
We long for something deeper!?People seek the transcendent, for purpose, meaning, and legacy.??It’s instructive to look to three unique thought leaders, for improved understanding of becoming the best version of ourselves, and living for a high purpose.
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ABRAHAM MASLOW - Most of us learned Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs by the time we finished high school. ?In short, Maslow contended that each level in the hierarchy must be fully complete in order to reach the next level in our growth.?At the base, are Physiologic needs, of food, water, warmth, and rest.?Provided that these are satisfied, the individual seeks feelings of safety in emotional and intellectual security.?As we feel safe emotionally, our love and belonging needs want realization. ?When we’re strong there, then esteem needs in status, recognition, and respect come into full focus. ?Self-actualization, he contends, fully commences after all of these lower needs are reached.??
Since, Maslow’s passing many scholars have argued, that these stages are more fluid, overlapping each other frequently in life. ?This means the lower levels of the hierarchy can take precedence over the higher levels at any point in time. ?In the end, Maslow’s classification has an essential place in sociological theory. ?
Today, let’s consider psychological safety alone. ?Creating a safe environment is the basis of good human relationships, at work and at home.??Do we make others feel safe? ?Do we provide them a degree of grace, without judgement? ?Are they free to speak up, experiment with their learning, or give feedback, be heard, ask for help, act vulnerably or bold, as needed? Are we providing space for the whole person?
Are we honest with those in our circle??Do words match our actions such that we behave reproducibly and predictably? ?Such consistency naturally fosters a sense of safety.? ?
With consistent people, we feel secure because we know that their word means something. ?They say what they do, and they do what they say! They are trustworthy, and therefore, we trust them!
When people create the opposite dynamic, not matching word with deed, an instability emerges, that erodes trust and results in fear. ?FEAR ALWAYS FAILS TO MOVE OTHERS TO BOLD ACTION. ?Fear incapacitates, slows progress, promotes indecision, fuels self-doubt, and yields stagnation.??
Vulnerability-based trust inspires lasting psychological safety. ?Breeding assurance and confidence in others is a direct result of allowing others to become comfortable in their failures, weaknesses, and fears, as well as their victories.??
Building vulnerability based trust, shows others that we are human too, and offers grace and appreciation equally in triumphs and setbacks. ?Why?? Because, through humility, we demonstrate that we’ve been in the similar place before.
Therefore, to create an environment of safety, we must be trustable, share vulnerably, offer dignity, and support others in their personal growth journey.???
Introduction of judgement, comparison, dishonesty, and fear slows the speed of trust, and destabilizes any feeling of safety.
Takeaway Lesson: ?To create safety in relationships, show rugged honesty in word and deed, give grace, be vulnerable, withhold judgement, and consistently adopt a posture of “helping”.
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MOTHER THERESA - Among two outstanding quotes that Theresa gave us are these:
“TRUE LOVE IS TO GIVE UNTIL IT HURTS”
“LIVE SIMPLY, SO THAT OTHERS CAN SIMPLY LIVE”
True love means giving until it actually causes pain - personal hurt for the benefit of another! This reminds me that I have more, I’m holding back, there is ALWAYS MORE CAPACITY TO GIVE! ?Too often we live in the delta of what we are capable of doing, and what we choose to actually do. ?
And ironically, it is giving until it stings, that helps us understand the depth in LOVE’s call. ?I feel small in the face of such "big love"! ?What is the greatest sacrifice someone has given for your benefit? ?Was it money, lodging, food, a kidney, unfailing emotional support,?fidelity to you and your purpose, reputation damage in saving you, or was it something even greater?? Maybe, someone sacrificed his/her life so that you may live, an offering all too familiar for soldiers and their families!
Living simply means being conservative, practical, and without want!
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Perhaps, we don’t need all the stuff we have! ?I’ll never forget the ending in the movie Schindler’s List. ?The workers gave Schindler a ring and a signed statement attesting to his role in saving 1200 Jewish lives, and presented him with a ring, with the Talmudic quotation, “Whoever saves just one life, saves the entire world”?
?In his humility, Schindler exclaims, “I could have done more, I didn’t need the car, I threw away so much money, I could have been better and given more”.?
He looked inward, knowing he didn’t need all or fewer of his possessions.?What could that re-appropriation of his assets have meant to saving more individuals??To lifting the lives of countless more?
I’ve embedded the link to this powerful scene (3 minutes)?https://youtu.be/vOoWpTxKJGA
We require much, much less! ?And yet, building wealth is important, because it equips us to give more deeply in response for others. ?Mother Theresa powerfully exorts the reader.?“Live simply, so they can simply live!”
I’m reminded of Father Teilhard De Chardin, powerful words, “we are not human beings having a spiritual experience, rather we are spiritual beings having a human experience.”
And during this human experience, while on a(time-bound) watch, giving of oneself for the benefit of others, remains the final key to personal satisfaction. ?
Serving them, with all of our assets, paradoxically, moves us to contentment and joy.? And yet, we live in a marketing brand-based world that beckons us to excess, for the latest and greatest, that soon enough becomes the last and left behind!
Takeaway lesson: ?My priorities can find a better, practiced order.?If I don’t think about such order actively, it won’t be corrected.
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STEVEN COVEY -?The late Steven Covey, wrote the best-seller,?Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.?Also, he provided a framework around the term, “abundance mentality”.
Abundance thinking assures that there are enough resources, and success opportunities to share with others. ?There is NOT a finite pie that we share and divide into minute pieces, that once the dessert is consumed, it is gone for good.
Rather, it is an expanding pastry that grows larger, with room for everyone to participate and to find their slice.??Your niche, in personal contribution will always be there. ??And there is also space for everyone within your circle of influence to obtain.?Therefore, it is easy to GENUINELY CELEBRATE the triumphs and achievements of our neighbors.??Additionally, it’s easy to understand that the resource/achievement flow is a river and not a reservoir.?
Goods, and value flow to others, and they come back around just as easily.?As such, there is no urgent need to fight for the small pie today. ?Lifting others, and living to your leadership ideals, while supporting them in the dream-quest, becomes the river itself.?That type of leadership expands the entire pie, and as much, insures every individual contribution accelerates the whole.
Takeaway Lesson: ?There is no such thing as scarcity of anything. ?There is no need to be selfish in arriving first.?Focus on helping others to solve their problems and meeting their needs, and you’ll never have to worry where you end up. ?__________________________________________________________________________
In studying Maslow, Theresa, and Covey, several universal truths illuminate. ?We do well to think about these principles from time to time, as we hope to complete a race of goodness and a comet-trail legacy of worthiness for others.
2. ?Seek to create a love culture within your community. ?Love until you are empty and????exhausted.?Live simply so that you can give more of yourself for others. ?
3. ?Share everything owned, freely.?Be triumphant for others' achievements, even when they are??realized before your own. ?No one let’s go of anything, until they trust that goodness????returns like a boomerang!?Give it away early.
Matthew, perhaps teaches the lesson best.??Share everything, because your Lord, will insure that you get what you need. ?We can’t let go, until we truly trust in Him. ?Chapter 6 --
19 Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy,?and where thieves break in and steal.?20?But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven,?where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21?For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
22?“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light.?23?But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
24?“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.
25?“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes??26?Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they??27?Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life ?
28?“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.?29?Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor?was dressed like one of these.?30?If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you?
The lessons of Maslow, Theresa, and Covey, likely found roots in Matthew, and are instructive for happiness……How can one live his/her best life??How can he/she help others feel safe and included, maintaining and abundance philosophy, with vision for inspired relationships, personal success, and community significance??
Do right for the sake of others and trust that all these things, will be added, along the long river!? Happy Thanksgiving!?Joy in your celebration!