Lessons from hardship and mindset!

Ada is only 10 years old! And this week, my little daughter has taught me, while playing a very challenging tennis tournament, what it takes to believe, to be mentally strong and keep your ground!!!

"Never, ever, give up"!!!

She taught me so much in just one game! And I would like to share this history of resilience and its impact on the perspective as a father, a husband, a coach and as a business man.

Tennis is a particular sport in terms of Game Theory! There is always a winner, and most of all, there is nobody else to blame while playing singles! Not like soccer, chess, rugby that enjoy the possibility and reward of a tie. Winning or losing - all good and bad is yours to claim!!

The game played was an UTR (Universal Tennis Rating) tournament, female-sub-10, meaning that all girls have to be 10 years old or less, playing 2 sets of green-balls, with tie-break of 10 points for draws .

The First Set - normal game, 02 girls playing...

Well played by both, was quickly closed by Ada - she has rushed to win 6 x 4!!! Nothing special on this one... just 02 girls playing. Not finished yet, a spectacular game will come...

          Ada    Opponent
1st Set>   6   x   4             All doing fine.... let′s start the second!

The Second Set - The opponent comes back!

It starts 2x2 as per UTR rules, not 0x0!!

Ada has won the first 02 games, opening 4 x 2... easy going right? All wrong!

Never sleep, never think that all is finished until the game has really ended!

And, the most incredible come back for both players started here! Ada′s overconfidence and the believe that she has already won, led to a surprising turn of impressive events for both players.

          Ada    Opponent
1st Set>   6   x   4 
2nd Set>   4   x   2 -> Opponnent fighting upward to draw the game.

And then, the opponent, a girl also the same age and with far more technical capabilities than Ada′s, has draw the second set to 4 x 4!!! What amazing coming back! Ada was shocked. I could see her eyes and lack of understanding on what has happened. Totally lost!

In the event of adversities, after a long period of hard work, any headwind can leave severe scars!

Ada has lost her basement, confidence starts to crack, easy shots become difficult ones and turn into terrible mistakes!! All happening one after the other!!! Defeat now becomes a reality... inner questioning becomes a thought that stays present, never succumbing! What a spiral! Reverting it is not easy on any aspect!!!

The opponent fights back, with astonishing capacity!! And then, the opponent wins the second set towards a 4 x 6, with straight 04 games victory....

Ada is broken! All confidence is gone, all capacity of reaction left on Ada′s mental bag has been washed away! Face changes! Smiles turn into questioning faces. Confusion, only confusion and questioning: "how come?".

          Ada    Opponent
1st Set>   6   x   4 
2nd Set>   4   x   6  Game is tied. A tie-break will be played.

So, the Tie-Break comes! All starting from zero this time, and have to reach 10 points, first-reaching wins! No second chances! Both under the same rules and technically capable to win, right? No!!! The Mental capacity and mindset are everything... Ada has lost confidence and the Opponent is coming strongly back, filling up the air with amazing shots!

The Tie-Break and what a 10 years old can accomplish!

            Ada    Opponent
1st   Set>   6   x   4 
2nd   Set>   4   x   6 
Tie Break>   0   x   0  UTR Rules - 10 points, first reaching wins!

The tie-break has started quite leveled up. It ends with an equal balance of a zero-sum game, with the winner of one player becoming the point of the other. 2 x 2!!! Is the confidence back for Ada? Is the Opponent going to keep a balanced strategy? No!!!

           Ada    Opponent
1st   Set>   6   x   4 
2nd   Set>   4   x   6 
Tie Break>   2   x   2  After the 04 initial points, the game becomes a lesson!

Without any mercy, I have seen the Opponent come strong!! Beating, winning, forcing mistakes, it has made 3, 4, 5, 6 and without any effort, the 7th point on the Tie-Break!!!

What a comeback for the Opponent!!

It remembers me of the US Open final among Thiem and Zverev, and how Zverev broke down and let Thiem come to one of the biggest come backs in history! Of course, this is no US Open, it is a weekend amateur tournament!!!

But they are only 10 years old! And that′s what makes me deeply think about this.

           Ada    Opponent
1st   Set>   6   x   4 
2nd   Set>   4   x   6 
Tie Break>   2   x   7  Opponent′s comeback! Amazing!!! A terrible loss to Ada?

Ada was crying! It is quite difficult for a 10 years old to couple with such disappointment, and handle the emotions!

As parents, we are paving their road for life, not driving them throughout it....and as a father I have preached many times the necessity of control, to keep it cool, to never lose faith!

And here I am, with my daughter crying on the court, the opponent full of confidence and missing 03 points on the tie-break to finish off the game!

Ada turns to me seeking advise, while catching a ball close to the stands! She looks at me, and I say to her: "there is game! Continue play, one point at the time!". Most coaches, for this particular age-bracket, enter the court - as per UTR rules - to comfort and instruct the player. I decided not to! I left her alone! Just a short phrase cried from the stands, nothing more!

Deep inside, I am super sad! Starting to prepare myself to provide all the support to my daughter, to check all the Stoic speech that I have read, and how to demonstrate to her that losses are part of life, and that she needed to learn from it, evolve and move on....with all the empathy that one can create on such moments! Not easy! Young-lings can get super-emotional.

But from nowhere, something happened. Ada reacted!

First scoring the 3rd point, to reach 3 x 7, then making the most impressive tie-break recovery at her age category that I have seen: 4, 5, 6 and 7 all!! What??? 7 x 7??? How come??

How a 10 years old, crying and hiding the tears from the public, can pull that off??

           Ada    Opponent
1st   Set>   6   x   4 
2nd   Set>   4   x   6 
Tie Break>   7   x   7  What has happened!?? She′s really came back 7-all???

Yes! She has done it!!! Could not believe! But she did not accomplish it by herself! She broke the Opponent′s confidence! Somehow, during a point, the opponent lost focus, lost concentration, and the girl bursting in tears, standing her ground, has been able to capitalize on it. Showing a huge mental capacity.

But the game goes on.... and Ada makes an unforced error, bringing the opponent up to 8! All of it for nothing? How come?

Hard work and mental focus shall reward, no? Only if you keep up, only if you do not give up and keep your ultimate goal up and running!!!

          Ada    Opponent
1st   Set>   6   x   4 
2nd   Set>   4   x   6 
Tie Break>   7   x   8  opponent comes up again! Emotions hitting both players!

At this point, I could not believe that Ada would come back again. Doubt rushing her mind... afraid of doing mistakes... But to my surprise, sure she did. On a straight path to victory, she draw to 8-all, then 9 and 10! Match point!!!

What a surprise! What a crazy outcome to both players!!! Could not believe it! Now, at the defeated fact, the opponent was all in tears! They are friends, training together and cheering up for each other during their games!!! They hug! They comfort themselves, completely exhausted of such emotional turmoil. They have shown the true spirit of sportsmanship! Well played both!!!

             Ada    Opponent
1st   Set>    6   x   4 
2nd   Set>    4   x   6 
Tie Break>   10   x   8     Match won by Ada! What an impressive match!

Took me a time to digest all... and how to process the lessons that my 10 years old daughter has shown. Here are some of them, which I think are worth share, as there are lots, lots of lessons! So many!!!

As a amateur tennis coach:

• It is clear that mindset is everything!!! Motivation and Mental capacity to couple with disadvantage, with errors, with the internal frustration is fundamental! That′s what I like about tennis!! You against yourself! Nobody else is to blame, and your capacity to fight is what makes the difference!! To know that you have done all possible to win! Despite all adversities, and in case of loss, to have a clear picture on how to improve!!!

As a business man:

• On headwinds (while at adverse moments): I have once heard from a manager, that the job is not lost until (1) you lose the tender, (2) the contract is signed, (3) the competition executes the job, (4) the customer accepts it, (5) the competitor bills and (6) the customer pays for it! Never give up!!! Continue creating, continue fighting!!!

"Hard work always beat talent, when talent is not working hard"!!

• On tailwinds (while sailing wonderful margins, market share, etc) : never get overconfident! Competition can always surprise you! And it will! The amount of creativity and flexibility found on desperate companies trying to penetrate the market, gain a contract and win a tender will always enforce new business models, new modalities, new technologies, new businesses!

And most important, as a Husband and Father:

The clear understanding of the value of sports! Kids have to learn to fight frustration, to handle emotions and have to learn that by themselves! We only there to support, but not to remove the weight!

We have to leave the kids to learn the hard way! Life is tough! They have to carry the weight!! Easy to say, difficult to execute, as we always try to alleviate the pain. But let your son/daughter surprise you!!