Lessons from Fall, Pirates, and the Fight Against Narcissism

Fall’s Arrival and Personal Reflections

As we settle into September, it’s starting to feel like fall is on its way—at least for part of the day. Where I live, mornings have been cooler, offering a brief glimpse of fall before the afternoons remind us that summer isn’t quite ready to leave. Fall is one of my favorite times of the year, though I know it can be unpredictable. In some places, we get that “false fall” where the temperature drops only for the heat to come back before it eventually jumps to cold. I’m hoping this shift brings some relief from the extreme weather we've been seeing lately across parts of the country. I know many of us are ready for a break from the heat and the storms.

This unpredictable pattern reminds me of the challenges we encounter in our professional lives. Just when we think we've got everything figured out, circumstances change, and we need to adapt. It's a bit like dealing with "false fall" in our careers – those moments when we think we've reached a stable point, only to find ourselves facing unexpected heat.

In the spirit of this seasonal change, I’ve been planning some weekend trips to catch the fall colors as they start to come in. It’s interesting to see how different regions experience the changing leaves at different times. When I lived in Colorado, we could go up into the mountains and see the colors much earlier than down in the city, thanks to the elevation. Now, living in Oklahoma, everything is later, and I find myself adjusting my timing. I’m considering a trip to northwest Arkansas and southwest Missouri toward the end of October to check out the fall foliage there (I think that’s part of the Ozarks, right?). Then, maybe in mid-November, I’ll explore southeastern Oklahoma to catch the later-changing leaves. It’s always amazing to witness how nature responds to the seasons—everything adapting, reacting, and preparing for the next phase.

On a more practical note, I spent some time this weekend tackling lawn care. Our yard wasn’t in the best shape when we moved in, and I hadn’t had the time or energy to really give it the attention it needed. The previous owners had a neighbor mowing the lawn, and without a mower of my own, I let him continue doing it. It was functional, but not exactly how I’d maintain it myself. Now that the neighbor has left for college, it was time to invest in my own equipment. I picked up an Ego lawnmower, and so far, it’s been great! Slowly but surely, I’m working to improve the lawn. Bagging the grass, cutting it gradually shorter, and tackling the weeds has been satisfying. The back corner of the yard had become a bit of a mess—overgrown with random plants, trees, and vines, along with a hidden ant hill. After some serious cleanup, it’s finally starting to look better.

Yardwork isn’t my favorite activity, but I’ve found it gives me time to think and reflect. There’s something meditative about working outdoors, focusing on small, incremental improvements. And even though it’s a slow process, it’s rewarding to see the progress. Just like leadership and personal growth, it’s about consistency, effort, and letting time reveal the results. As I mowed, bagged, and battled stubborn weeds, I couldn't help but draw parallels to leadership challenges:

1. Start where you are: Just like my overgrown lawn, sometimes we inherit leadership situations that are less than ideal. The key is to begin making improvements, no matter how small.
2. Consistency is key: Regular maintenance, whether of lawns or leadership skills, yields the best results.
3. Remove the dead weight: Bagging those dead grass clippings is akin to shedding outdated practices or toxic attitudes in our professional lives.
4. Prepare for future growth: By addressing issues now (like those pesky ant hills I discovered), we set the stage for robust growth in the future.

As I stood back to admire my handiwork – shorter grass, a cleaner landscape, and a more inviting backyard – I realized that both lawn care and leadership require patience, persistence, and a vision for what could be. It's not always glamorous work, but the results are deeply satisfying.

Talk Like a Pirate Day – September 19, 2024

Ahoy, mateys! This week brings a bit of fun as we celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day on September 19. I’ll be diving into some pirate-themed posts around this unofficial holiday, and, as someone who’s been spending quite a bit of time playing Sea of Thieves lately, the pirate life has been on my mind. There are more lessons to be learned from sailing the high seas than you might expect—whether you’re solo or working with a crew, strategy, decision-making, and risk-taking are constant challenges, much like in leadership.

We’ll be exploring some of these lessons in my posts on Thursday, but for the newsletter, I want to share a little background on this fun celebration and how it ties into leadership and coaching.

History and Purpose

Talk Like a Pirate Day was born in 1995 as a joke between two friends, John Baur and Mark Summers, during a racquetball game. It wasn’t until humor columnist Dave Barry wrote about it in 2002 that it gained widespread popularity. The date, September 19, was chosen simply because it was easy for one of the founders to remember. Its purpose is simple: to inject fun and whimsy into our daily lives. It’s not a day to celebrate actual pirates, but rather an opportunity to break routine and get a little creative.

Celebration and Cultural Impact

Over the years, Talk Like a Pirate Day has grown into a cultural phenomenon. People dress up as pirates, adopt pirate lingo, and engage in all sorts of pirate-themed activities. It’s a day where businesses, social media platforms, and even organizations take part in the fun. The holiday promotes creativity, imagination, and a sense of shared amusement that connects people in a lighthearted way. But beyond the costumes and pirate-speak, there are deeper lessons to be drawn—especially when we think about leadership.

Leadership Lessons from the Pirate Life

While this day is all about fun, it’s also a great opportunity to reflect on important leadership concepts that pirates (yes, pirates!) can teach us. Here are a few ways Talk Like a Pirate Day connects to leadership and coaching:

1. Creative Communication: Adapting your communication style to engage your team is a crucial skill. Just as we embrace pirate talk for a day, leaders can experiment with different communication methods to meet their teams where they are and create stronger connections.
2. Building Team Morale: A little lightheartedness can go a long way in boosting team spirit. Participating in fun activities, even something as silly as pirate-themed shenanigans, can create a positive environment where people feel more connected and engaged.
3. Encouraging Risk-Taking: Pirates were known for bold, risky moves. In leadership, encouraging calculated risk-taking can lead to innovation and growth. Whether in business or on the high seas, progress often comes from those willing to take a leap into the unknown.
4. Adaptability: Pirates had to adapt to constantly changing environments. In leadership, adaptability is key. Being able to pivot and adjust to new circumstances, challenges, or team dynamics is a skill that can make or break a leader’s success.
5. Shared Vision: Just as pirate captains rallied their crews to pursue treasure, leaders need to unite their teams toward a common goal. A clear, compelling vision is what keeps everyone rowing in the same direction.
6. Work-Life Balance: Talk Like a Pirate Day is a reminder that injecting a bit of fun into your professional life is not only okay, but it’s also necessary. A balance between work and play can help sustain long-term motivation and well-being.
7. Cultural Awareness: This quirky holiday, which has spread globally, also serves as a conversation starter about how cultural phenomena evolve and how they impact our lives. It’s a fun example of how even the smallest ideas can have a big cultural impact, sparking creativity and engagement across different industries.

As we celebrate this playful holiday, let’s use it as a reminder of the importance of creativity, connection, and adaptability—all essential elements in leadership. And for those of you who enjoy a bit of pirate fun, don’t forget to join me on LinkedIn this week for some Sea of Thieves-inspired reflections.

Deep Dive: Week 2 – Narcissism in Leadership

As we continue our 8-week journey exploring Dark Triad Leadership and the toxic traits that can infiltrate leadership positions, this week’s focus is on narcissism—a subject that often dances the line between confidence and toxicity. Understanding narcissism in leadership contexts is crucial because it’s one of the most insidious forms of toxic leadership that can create long-lasting damage to teams and organizations alike.

Why This Matters: Leadership, at its core, should be about serving others, building trust, and fostering an environment of psychological safety. But narcissistic leaders operate in a very different realm. Their leadership style is driven by self-interest, a hunger for admiration, and the manipulation of those around them for personal gain. This isn’t just a problem in organizations—it’s a societal issue, especially as we approach major political events like the upcoming election.

Although the political landscape isn’t the main focus of this series, I want to highlight that many figures in today’s political arena embody these toxic traits. Whether it’s self-promotion over ethics, or prioritizing personal power over public service, these behaviors are alarmingly prevalent. I hope that by exploring the dangers of narcissistic leadership in this series, it prompts reflection not just in our workplaces but also in how we think about leadership at a broader level, especially in voting booths.

Ethics and Integrity: It’s becoming harder to ignore the dissonance between what some leaders say and how they actually behave. Narcissistic leaders often champion ethics and integrity in public, but beneath the surface, their actions reveal a much darker reality. This series is my way of raising awareness about that gap and encouraging all of us to question how much integrity we truly see in our leaders—and more importantly, how we can foster a higher standard of ethical leadership.

Cognitive Dissonance and Self-Awareness: I’ve also been reflecting on the importance of self-awareness in leadership. Narcissistic leaders often lack this crucial trait. They fail to recognize their toxic behaviors, or worse, they know and don’t care. In this series, I aim to inspire both self-awareness and external awareness—whether it’s seeing these traits in ourselves or recognizing them in others. The hope is that we can begin to hold leaders accountable for the harm they cause and strive for personal growth if any of these toxic traits exist within ourselves.

Empowerment Against Toxic Leadership: We need to equip ourselves with the tools to fight against narcissistic and toxic leadership. Much like the phrase “This machine kills fascists,” I believe we need to foster environments that disempower these toxic traits. This is a deeply personal mission for me. As I’ve grown older, I’ve witnessed these behaviors in people I once respected—both in my personal life and in public figures like Elon Musk or Uncle Bob Martin. Their actions have negatively impacted countless individuals and, on a broader scale, have held back the progress we should be making. This series is my way of saying enough is enough. It’s time to rise against these destructive behaviors.

Week 2 Overview: Narcissism in Leadership

This week, we’ll explore the many dimensions of narcissism in leadership. From understanding its foundational traits to identifying it in the workplace, these discussions are designed to help you recognize the signs and mitigate the damage narcissistic leadership can do to teams and organizations.

Here’s what to expect each day:

• Monday (9/16): We’ll define narcissism, explore its characteristics, and examine how it manifests in leadership roles.
• Tuesday (9/17): We’ll dive into the narcissistic leader’s toolkit, exploring tactics like charisma, self-promotion, and manipulation.
• Wednesday (9/18): We’ll look at the impact narcissistic leaders have on teams, including the creation of toxic competition and long-term effects on employee well-being.
• Thursday (9/19): We’ll focus on how to identify narcissistic traits in leaders, with particular attention to how these behaviors show up during hiring and promotion processes.
• Friday (9/20): We’ll conclude the week by exploring vulnerable narcissism, which presents differently but poses similar challenges in leadership.

I hope you’ll join me as we uncover the complexities of narcissism in leadership. These traits are more common than we think, and by shining a light on them, we can work toward healthier, more effective leadership in our workplaces—and perhaps even beyond.

Closing Thoughts: Reflection, Growth, and Moving Forward

As we step into this new week, I encourage you to take a moment to reflect on the themes we’ve discussed—whether it’s the meditative process of steady improvement (as I experienced with lawn care), the playful creativity of Talk Like a Pirate Day, or the critical insights into narcissism in leadership. Each of these topics, while seemingly different, points toward a larger truth: Growth is a continuous process, and it requires both self-awareness and action.

In leadership, as in life, we are constantly adapting to changes—whether they come in the form of shifting seasons, evolving team dynamics, or personal realizations about the behaviors that no longer serve us. This week, as we explore narcissism in leadership, I invite you to think deeply about the leaders around you, the environments you work in, and most importantly, how you show up as a leader.

Consistency, self-awareness, and integrity are the foundations of effective leadership. Whether you’re tackling small personal projects or working on large-scale initiatives, remember that incremental improvements ultimately lead to lasting impact. Leadership is about serving others, creating psychological safety, and fostering environments where people can thrive—not about promoting ourselves at the expense of others.

Here’s my coaching advice for the week:

1. Stay curious. Whether you’re reflecting on your own leadership or observing the behavior of others, stay open to learning and growth.
2. Challenge what’s toxic. If you recognize toxic traits in your environment, don’t shy away from addressing them. Small steps can lead to bigger cultural shifts.
3. Foster empathy. Great leaders lead with heart. Take time to connect with your team on a human level, showing that you genuinely care about their well-being.
4. Celebrate progress. It’s easy to get bogged down in challenges, but take time to appreciate the small wins—whether in your personal growth or within your team.

Let’s make this week one of reflection, growth, and action. As we continue our deep dive into the complexities of narcissism in leadership, I hope you find moments of clarity and inspiration that help you navigate the ever-changing landscape of leadership with confidence and compassion. Together, we can push back against toxicity and create more inclusive, empowering spaces where everyone can thrive.

Until next time, may your leadership be as colorful as autumn leaves, as resilient as a well-tended lawn, and as bold as a pirate setting sail for new horizons.

Fair winds and following seas,

Edward Schaefer

Your Leadership Navigator

P.S. Remember, in the face of narcissistic behaviors or toxic leadership, you have the power to be the change you wish to see. Let's work together to create workplaces and communities where everyone can thrive. Onward and upward!