Lessons From An Extremely Long Job Search

September 15, 2017.

I remember that day like it was yesterday. A month and a half earlier, I had finished up my MBA summer internship with a Fortune 500 company in Denver. It was an incredibly positive experience. I led an exciting project building out strategic marketing partnerships. I worked with a great team and made friends with the other interns. I hiked 14ers and fell in love with Colorado.

At the end of my internship, I received my final evaluation. In every category, I was rated either “exceeds expectations” or “outstanding” (my performance would have put me in the top 20% if I were a full-time employee). My manager said she would “strongly” recommend that I receive a return offer, and that I likely would receive official word come mid-September. 

In the next month and half, I moved back to Madison for my second year of business school. I began classes and my new teaching assistant gig. I spent my free time going out with my classmates (most of whom received job offers from their summer internships) and browsing Apartments.com to scope out the hippest neighborhoods to live in and every nearby craft brewery to visit in the Denver area.

Then on that Friday, September 15, between my TA sessions, my phone rang with the Denver area code. This was my “Golden Ticket” moment – the moment that made those late nights studying for the GMAT, preparing my canned STAR stories (if you don’t know what those are, consider yourself blessed) and building my internship deck all worth it.

“Hey Sam, it’s Sally,” the recruiter said (name has been changed).

“Oh heyyyy, Sally, got some good news for me?” I asked excitedly, arrogantly assuming this was a done deal.

What proceeded was perhaps the most awkward, deafening 10 or so seconds of silence since the beginning of mankind.

“Well,” she said with a nervous quake in her voice. Then it came. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we couldn’t find a slot for you in the organization. We will not be moving forward with an offer.”

My jaw dropped. With a shocked and angry tone, I quipped, “In the ENTIRE organization?” She didn’t take the bait. She told me to stay in touch, I told her I was very disappointed, but I understood (even though I didn’t) and then we ended the call.

In the days after, I reached out to my manager and other members of my team to ask if they had any intel (they didn’t). I reached out to the company’s chief marketing officer to see if he had any insight. I replayed my entire internship in my head, trying to figure out if I had done something, said something or whatever that prevented me from getting a job offer.

Nope. All I knew was that my second year of business school, which I had planned to be a year of non-rigorous academics and hanging out in Downtown Madison with my classmates was instead going to be filled with trying to figure out the next stage of my life.

A job search journey

Really, there’s three types of job searches that any person will experience.

First, there’s the job search that happens very quickly. A person hits the market – either by choice or by necessity – and within a short period of time (think weeks) snags a job. This is often the case for those with skills in super high-demand, those who are targeting lower-level positions, those who are painfully attractive or those who simply get lucky. If you had a super short job search, congratulations! Kick ass at your new job but try not to rub it in too much for the rest of us.

Second, there’s job searches that are frustrating. The job search stretches on for a few months, sometimes longer. The person sends out a resume to company after company with no response. Maybe this person goes on a handful of interviews and all they get is an email that says “We’d like to thank you for meeting with the team at ACME. Although we were impressed with your credentials, the team has decided to go with another candidate who was a better match. Best of luck in your future endeavors. Sincerely, Applicant Tracking System.” If you are in this situation, know that you’re not alone and that there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

Finally, there are those job searches that are so insane they deserve to be written about in novel form. They’re the type of job searches where one loses their mind and where friends and family say, “what the hell is going on?” If they didn’t involve people’s livelihood, they’d be comical.

My job search fell into this last category.

Although I participated in some light recruiting in the fall, my job search began in earnest during the spring semester. By April, I had gotten to the final round for two different positions. One had been with the company I interned for – this time in a different marketing position.

Both ultimately rejected me, but my internship company stung the most. I interned, got an outstanding review, didn't get an offer, was so persistent that I went through the entire recruitment process again and all I got this time was a form letter rejecting me.

I had hoped to have a big shot-MBA job lined up by graduation. I had hoped to do some traveling over the summer before raking in the dolla dolla bills. But that just wasn’t meant to be. 

Throughout the summer and fall, my job search followed the same pattern. I got interviews with little difficulty. I’d sail through the phone screens and had a pretty high conversion rate in hiring manager rounds. At least once a month, I’d fly out to a different city for a half-day of interviews. I’d wait…and wait…and wait. Eventually, I got the same response every single time – they were going with someone else.

One time I flew out to San Francisco to interview with a company, and the team ultimately selected an internal candidate. A few months later I flew out to the same company for an even better role and the recruiter said the team went with another candidate who had “more developed experience.”

I got feedback from the interviews. One would say my behavioral answers needed more finesse. The next firm said I did great with behavioral questions but I missed the mark on marketing acumen.

I did mock interviews with anyone and everyone. I worked with career coaches on my “executive presence.” I bought new outfits. It didn’t matter -- I couldn’t get past the final round interview if my life depended on it.

But I kept pressing ahead. By January, after extensive legwork, I had lined up four final round interviews for jobs I was very excited about. Jobs that would change the trajectory of my life. Three were in Chicago and one was in Washington D.C. (interviewed in Richmond Va.). In Chicago, I would interview at one company each day. Thursday was a travel day and Friday I would have my panel interview for the D.C. job.

I had prepared harder than I had ever prepared, and I was ready. Due to the polar vortex, the process involved rearranged schedules, flight diversions/delays and an extra trip up to Chicago. But I didn’t care – I was laser focused on finally closing this chapter of my life.

With all the interviews done. I waited…and waited…and waited. And one by one, the calls (or emails) came in. No. No. No. No.

The night I received my final rejection, I remember looking on my windowsill. On it lay a free drink ticket from a Southwest Airlines flight I took during recruiting. After all this work -- the months of studying for the GMAT, the two years of business school, the hundreds of people I reached out to and the even more applications I put in, all I had to show for it was a free drink on any future Southwest Airlines flight.

I broke down and cried. 

Falling into a hole and slowly climbing out

How could this be? My classmates seemed to have no issue getting these jobs (we'll discuss comparing ourselves to others later on). But every time I interview, all I get is “thanks but no thanks.”

The ensuing months were a blur. My motivation to find a position went to zero. All I wanted to do was lay in bed – people couldn’t tell me that I wasn’t good enough if I just locked myself in my room and watched Netflix. I sank into a very dark place.

Eventually I started getting a few interviews again, including for some lower-level positions. My resentment and ego likely came across and, fairly, those opportunities didn’t pan out either. I interviewed with a few consulting firms, but they wanted prior consulting experience.

Yet over time, I started taking on some long-term consulting projects with a couple of startups. I rediscovered my love of writing and began blogging on LinkedIn (my own website coming soon). I started performing stand up comedy again (before, you know, pandemics). I took on a research project on Influencer Marketing in a COVID-19 era.

Then, a few months ago, I was referred to a business development role at Centene, a Fortune 50 managed care company based in my hometown of St. Louis. It was a position that wouldn’t have been on my radar back in business school, but since I was referred, I thought it wouldn’t hurt to check it out.

Throughout my rounds of interviews, the position piqued my interest even more. It’s a company that has grown leaps and bounds in recent years. And with states continuing to expand Medicaid and increased Medicare rolls due to an aging population, I didn’t see growth abating anytime soon.

I had my phone call with the recruiter, which turned into a call with the hiring manager, which turned into a panel interview. And eventually, I had one last call with a vice president. Then I waited… but only for a few hours.

July 29, 2020.

It was about 3 PM and the phone rang. It was the recruiter, and she asked if I had a minute. Then I heard “the team would like to make you an offer.”

She then proceeded to walk me through the details, but truthfully, I was in shock. I wanted to interrupt and say “sorry, you must have the wrong number.”

But she didn’t. And after reviewing the package and a little bit of negotiation, I accepted! I was finally off the market.

I had traveled to Chicago seven times, San Francisco twice, Denver, Boston, Minneapolis, New York, Kansas City and Richmond, Va. for interviews. I had phone and Skype (the precursor to Zoom) interviews for dozens of other positions all across the country. The irony is that my new position is right here in St. Louis, within walking distance of where I currently live. 

Lessons learned

So why did I share my journey with you? A few reasons:

- Writing this was incredibly cathartic. Way better than spending $100 in a therapy session!

- For anyone going through a difficult job search, I empathize!

- It’s important to not compare yourself to others – you have little context into their lives. So I got a job during COVID-19. I must be a baller, right? Ummm, scroll up!

But most importantly, throughout this process I learned a lot of lessons about job searching. As millions upon millions of people are out of work, I want to share those lessons and I believe with my journey that I have some credibility. I try to avoid lessons you've probably heard such as "networking is your friend" or "treat the job search like a job."

Below are my thoughts:

*You NEVER know who can help you.

Throughout my job search, I worked my Wisconsin network extensively. I went to business school conferences. I had calls and meetings with Fortune 500 executives and partners at prominent consulting firms. People with their own Wikipedia pages. People who had Ad Age profiles written about them. I even had a call with a billionaire.

The person who referred me to my soon-to-be job? My 3rd grade Sunday School teacher, who happens to be an attorney at Centene. She reached out to my mother, who texted me the job opening. I applied. My Sunday School teacher then reached out to the hiring manager with some of my work samples. The rest is history.

But this process could have been a 100x easier had I utilized my pre-business school network earlier. In my past career, I felt very typecast and was looking to move into new opportunities. I viewed reaching out to my old network akin to an ex-drug dealer who starts hanging with his old friends.

That was misguided; my old network could have pointed me in the right direction. Throughout the job search, I’d advise you to talk to as many people as possible. Even the people who are not in any way connected to your field. Babysitters, dentists, past flings (yes, I received a referral from someone I went on a couple dates with). You never know who knows the right person.                                                                                                               

*Avoid absolutes.

During the job search, I had a very clear idea of what I wanted. 

Sure, I occasionally made some exceptions, which often came down to if I was “feelin' it” (which, by the way, is not a great strategy). But I also had a lot of absolutes. I was NOT going to take less than X salary. I was NOT going to work in an ad agency. I was NOT going to take a job in St. Louis. And I was NOT going to work in healthcare.

But once I was able to break from those absolutes –and it took me a very long time to break from some absolutes – life began to get easier. This role I’m taking is in healthcare and it’s in St. Louis. But after spending some time pondering it, it’s exactly the role meant for me right now. And if I had let go of those absolutes, I could have found my path a lot sooner.

Granted, there are some absolutes that are OK. You should NOT work in a toxic environment, for instance. And sometimes, people have to make absolutes on criteria such as location. But make sure your absolutes are based on legitimate needs and not on ego.

Avoiding absolutes doesn’t mean taking anything or selling yourself short. But it does mean keeping an open mind about a lot of different possibilities.

*Company/Location/People > Job

When I was in the midst of my full-time job search, I was very focused on obtaining a specific type of job. Location and even the company itself became secondary to the role. As a result, I interviewed at companies I had absolutely no business working at, in locations where I had absolutely no connections (nor did I particularly care to move to).

My advice to anyone in the midst of a job search is to place more emphasis on factors such as company culture, the people on your team (especially your manager) and, if you’re open to relocation, areas where you’d want to live.

Truthfully, any job you take will likely last for only 1-3 years, especially earlier in your career. After that, you’ll probably move up, horizontally or outside of the organization. That said, the professional network and the community outside of work you build will last a lifetime. 

*PLEASE let go of what “should have happened.”

"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." - Carrie Fisher

My job search took an extremely long time because I couldn’t let go of perceived injustices. I was so angry that I didn’t get the position after my summer internship that I had to find a job that would be even better than what I would have been offered (which I didn’t even define what “better” meant).

I was so resentful that I would get so close to a job offer so many times, but then someone else would swoop in and take MY JOB! A recruiter who didn’t respond to my emails and calls would ruin my day (not cool recruiters, but I forgive you). A rejection after an interview would send me into a tailspin.

If you listened close enough, you could hear the anger and resentment brewing in my veins. This led to victim mentality, which then led to depression.

Try to find a way to let go of the past. The job you should have gotten. The friend who should have referred you to this or that position. It's done, and by focusing on the wrongs of the past, you're only sabotaging a brighter tomorrow.

It’s easy for me to preach this, but it’s very hard to put into practice. If you find yourself wallowing in anger, talk to someone. A friend, a family member, or even a professional. It's very hard to move forward in life with all that baggage.

Finally, just remember that if you’re going through this process, this too shall pass!

Like what you read? Check out some of my other articles here:

Business School: Is It Worth It?

5 Lessons Learned From My Big Research Project

Attention Students: The Most Important Part of Your Resume