Lessons from doing the craziest challenge I have ever done and how it changed my views on stress and anxiety forever…

As a little back story, I have never shied away from a physical and mental challenge.

I have completed multiple half marathons, charity bike rides and exercise challenges, the 3 peaks challenge on the wettest, most dangerous day one September (that’s another story, but the SAS were there telling us they’d lost 2 guys up on Scafell Pike's peak and cold water shock was a real danger crossing the tumultuous stream that had turned into a raging river), flown to countries by myself for mini adventures, wild camped, rock climbed (albeit UK small rocks!) and so on.?All of these things scared me and seemed impossible at first...

So when I saw an ad for a cold water challenge during March 2022 for Cancer Research UK, 4 days before it started - I was like.??I NEED THIS.

You see, although I was coming out of a successful 14 weeks intense therapy for GAD (Generalised Anxiety Disorder) and feeling more ale to cope with day to day life, even noticing that I was a worthwhile human being on the planet again, I was still fragile, sensitive and feeling a complete failure at well, life and all things in between.

So on a complete hair-brained whim I signed up!??And then, within an hour genuine, non GAD panic took over and I messaged a friend who is also a UK cold sea swimmer.

"I have to cold water immerse everyday in march - and I have committed to doing most of these in the UK channel (I live literally across the road from the Port Of Dover and can see the sea from my window!).??But I HATE cold water, the sea and swimming scares me and I haven’t been in a body of water other than a bath for over a decade - HELP!'.??In fact, I had NEVER done more than a toe dip in the sea.??It’s way too cold, even in the summer in the UK for me, and the murky, seaweed filled waters around me - well yuck…

I was given sound advice, and the next day tried my first mini cold shower, 3 days and counting until the first sea dip - it was not great.??I shouted to my Mum from the shower, who was watching the kids - 'ABSOLUTELY NO f**cking WAY.??I can’t do this - what am I thinking!'.?I sat on the edge of the bath a cried.

I was ready to give everyone their charity donations back and throw in the towel before the challenge even started.??At that point I had raised ￡250 already, and the responsibility of that meant I had to wipe my tears, accept this was scary for me and then pull myself together!

March 1st came.??It was cold, really cold - it was cloudy, windy and the air temp was around 5c.??The sea temp was averaging between 3-5c that day and it was a moderate sea state.??I was scared.??What if the slight roughness of the tide, the wind and the temperature meant I got cold water shock, what if I went under and couldn’t keep myself safe in the pull of the waves???What if this is the stupidest thing I have ever done!??My support team (Mum, Partner and kids) came with me, and I cried most of the walk to the beach.??I was wrapped in layers, had a hot water bottle - and I was still cold.??My mindset was not I’ve got this, it was - I have to do this.

After a few mins of self talk, reminding myself that there are more positive what if’s than negative ones I peeled off the layers squealing about the cold wind biting at my skin, and went in.??Of course I was cold water shock aware, but I went for the immersion (it was for 30 seconds) after about 30- 45 seconds of walking in the water and splashing my body with it.??And I can tell you, even as I sit and write this on a sunny, hot day in August -?I can remember?the feeling of?bloody cold, icy cold water washing over even now.??It wasn’t fun.??I didn’t have a rush of holy moly what have I been missing this is amazing (as some had said I would get).??In fact, all that was going through my mind was if I survive this, I am already dreading day 2.?I did it, to the very second, no more I might add.??Got out, warmed up super safely (that’s the bit that can cause you more issues) and rejoiced that day one was done, at least that meant I only had another 30 days to go…

Now, I didn’t sea dip every single day, there were days where my amazing Mum was busy and so I had no one to watch over the kiddies (they’re young, and too young to be left waterside alone) and days when the weather and conditions were just too damned dangerous in the English channel waters, and I would have been really silly to go in.?Those were the dreaded cold shower days.??But by day 14 something remarkable happened to me.

I was in the sea, I had walked in on an icy March weather day, got under almost immediately and smiled.??I was now up to 2-3 minutes and even doing a little swim, I was feeling proud of myself and my strength of commitment…. Commitment and consistency was something I had really struggled with since getting diagnosed with GAD, especially for my own wellbeing.

After a minute or so in the water, there was an audible (to me) release in my body.??I cried.??Really cried, a deep sobbing release of a cry.??Something had shifted, energy had moved, emotional history had released within me, for the better, forever.??I came out of that sea dip a different woman.

Fast forward more sea dips, more cold showers (31 total, of which 16 sea dips) and the end of the challenge and finally I understood the power of Cold Water and it’s healing properties…

In my work, both as an Empowerment Coach and Holistic Therapist I help people create more space - be it physical, financial, emotional, spiritual.?Space is something we all need a bit more of and after this challenge it took on an even more profound dimension to me and my clients.

Now let's talk stress, or more importantly for ease of understanding, the stress bucket - a concept introduced to me over a decade ago by Dax Moy.?We all have them, and all day everyday, from many sources - our buckets get filled.??When it overflows - so do we.??Overwhelm, anxiety, depression, illness, emotion, injury, nervous system?dysregulation.??You name it - it can be traced back to an overflowing stress bucket.

Emptying said bucket is vital, creating ways to keep it from overflowing - beyond necessary.??And in Midlife , especially if you are a busy success seeker and parent - this foundational principle is an ABSOLUTE must.

BUT, what I realised from my sea dipping - is that actually, creating resilience to stress, rather than just emptying it constantly might be a better method of creating a more calm and peaceful life, and dealing with all that comes with Midlife too.

So imagine then we looked at replacing the bucket with a full on disposal system that can filter, get rid of and release automatically as we move through our days.?That's what I now aim to do...

Stress resilience then was another new concept to me.??I always had GREAT ways of dealing with stress, I grew up moving from super stressful situation to the next and so had to learn to manage stress and me well.??But what I realised through doing the challenge is that there was so much more I could do to increase my stress resilience, and FEEL great every single day.??Things that were instant, quicker, habit based and that I could keep in my tool kit for emergencies too.

It’s what led to the creation of my Collective and VIP coaching experiences with The Unleashed Life Coach, and in my Big 5 Foundations?, it's so important it is considered a priority 1.

I had such a wild open hearted experience doing this solo challenge that I have summarised the rest of my lessons below:

1. You’ve got to have a why so big you do the IMPACT work no matter what

2. Courage is earned and learned - not given, as is confidence.

3. If you wait, you’ll wait… Always

4. Starting something new, stepping into your dreams - starts with one small step. You just need to find that one step.

5. You have to embrace fear. Understand it’s a state of mind, a part of the brain designed to keep you safe - you don't always have to listen to it.?

6. Breath, thought and movement - can unlock you potential.

7. Breathing changes you, it's more than how much oxygen you take in, but harnesses something much, much deeper inside.

8. Midlife is not a crisis, it’s an awakening.

9. Likely no one will really understand your journey to Unleashing. They’re too hooked up on their own fears to be able to support you right now, and that's ok.?So be OK with that...

10. Things will either work out, or they won’t. So you may as well just go ahead and do it anyway.

11. The English Channel is f**king cold.?

12. We all have our shadows.?And it’s the fear of those shadows finding light that holds us back from all we were destined to be.

13.??Anyone that truly loves, cares and sees all you are beyond the actions that came out of crisis, when you are working on your awakening will know that and stand by you.?Others will judge, shame and battle…. And that’s ok.?They’re just not ready.?But you are.

14. Your past does not define you, today does.

15. The wind of positive change blows all the f**king time, it’s just you are hiding behind the dark walls - you have to step into the light to feel it.

16. There is a calmness in rough seas, you just have to find that sweet spot.

I really hope you start a resilience practice of your own, that goes deeper and more simpler than food and movement strategies too…. Let me know your thoughts...

To Your Unleashed Life, Katie xoxo