Lessons from being made Redundant: You don’t always get what you wanted.

In the broadest sense, my plan is to Stop-Recharge-Reengage-Restart – I intentionally wanted to take time out from work, as this is (hopefully) a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

I've been unemployed for seven weeks; it started with some complete downtime, but with a big hole where my job used to be, I went through a funk (see article one), and now I am Recharging (see article two), had a few ups than downs.(see article three) and looked at the challenge ahead. (see article four) and now I’m catching up and realising that you don’t always get what you want.

Job Updates

It’s the second week of May as I write this, so I have reached out to some of the recruiters that had contacted me a few weeks ago and spoken to a number of colleagues that have interesting opportunities. I also applied for a couple of other solid-sounding roles.

Having said that, I am at the exciting end of discussions with one of the ‘unmissable’ opportunities that I talked about applying the rocking chair test with.

Watch this space!

The day after Mt Taranaki.

Uncle Eddie lives in a quiet part of New Plymouth; he moved there five years ago from the small rural farm property he’d spent the previous 40 years.?He had bought that farm in Tataraimaka from my mum and dad, which is where I spent my earliest years, he grew his own food and cultivated rhododendrons there, and his plants can be found in gardens and parks around the district.

Eddie knows what he wants, but as he gets older, he can’t do everything.?I stayed with him the day I came down the mountain for a couple of nights.?We reminisced about our trip up together 17 years ago.

The morning after Mt Taranaki, Eddie had hard labour that needed doing, laying 150 paving stones in an area near his front door so he didn’t need to drag the bins so far.

I’ve never done paving before, and the idea of levelling sand and squaring off a patch of land before laying the stones, all while being supervised by a ‘straight talker’, was a little daunting. However, I’d just climbed a fricken volcano, so I guess this should be easy, right?

One brick at a time, the first row took ages, but it got easier over time. I built this new skill by trial and error, aka just doing it *thanks, Nike*. The trick turned out to be the levelling of the sand under the paver to ensure a tight fit. Each one laid got easier as I improved from unconsciously incompetent to merely consciously incompetent.

I reflected on the fact my mindset that day. A growth mindset, “I’ll learn a new skill today”, and “If I am curious and just get stuck in, I’ll get better over time”.?The job wasn’t perfect, far from it; it was adequate, and gloriously so.

Honestly, I enjoyed the process of improving.?I wish I had that mindset more often.

The work took as long as climbing Mt Taranaki, and by the end of the day, I was shattered. We had a good dinner that night, and I felt a sense of achievement for the second day in a row.

An insightful friend of mine pointed out that laying the pavers was a more noble and long-lasting achievement than ascending the mountain the day before.?And he is so right; it’s important not to confuse personal goals with truly useful creation of value for others.

Each time I see Mount Taranaki, I’ll recall my journey, but each time I visit Uncle Eddie, I will see the meaningful work I did that has made his life a tiny bit easier, and that means more.

That night we enjoyed a nice meal, and the next day I set off for Hamilton.

The Tron

Over the next two days, I caught up with a fellow CIO and good friend who was also made redundant and then my first cousin Ryan.

On redundancy, I learned an important lesson that, like all the best lessons, seems blindingly obvious after someone says it.

From experience, I know that you take for granted the things that are amazing about a role until you move on to a place where those things are not there. It is only then that you appreciate what you had.

The thing I learned is that you also don’t know how bad a role was for your health and well-being until too don’t have to do it anymore.

?Brad and I reflected on the weight that was lifted and that neither of us, at the time, realised how damaging the environment had become for us.

Subconsciously at least, I seem predisposed to not appreciate what I have that’s good and overlook the harm an environment can cause while at the same time fearing change.?Being a human is messy.

Ryan is my biological first cousin; I discovered him 18 months ago as we were both adopted(a story for another time perhaps); he has three gorgeous kids and, with his wife, runs a successful flower business.

Neither of us thought we’d meet another person that shared our unique history, so when we met for the first-time last year, we were both super curious about where we were similar and not (nature/nurture etc)

We walked “The Hucks” (Hakarimata)?track. It rained, and there was no view from the top – but the journey was the point, not the destination.?We talked the whole way and on into the evening.??I look forward to spending more time with Ryan and his family.

Auckland

The next day was Auckland, and spending time with my bessie mates – Matt, and his wife Trish and kids Jaxon and Sloane. We had a great couple of evenings, punctuated by a night of car camping by the beach and even went for a run together.

Sloane is my God Daughter and 21 years old; she wasn’t feeling well and had stayed away for my visit.

Just before I headed off to the National Park for my last adventure she popped in to pick up a COVID test, and I saw my chance. (Hey, I am solo travelling for the next bit)

You know, those cuddles that seem to last forever? We had one of those, and it was lovely.?I smiled as I drove the 3 hours down to Taupo, where I was going to camp in my car and the Top10 holiday park before heading out on one of three adventures.

Sloane later tested positive for COVID, but the cuddle was still worth it, and I was fine.

You don’t always get what you wanted…

?As I wrote last week’s article, I already knew what was next;

I had wanted to finish my adventures by writing about summiting MT Ruhapeu, the highest peak in the North Island, or failing that, completing the three-day great walk, The Tongariro Northern Circuit 3-day walk or failing that at least the Tongariro crossing.?It would neatly tie a bow in my adventure tails and be a leaping-off point for Re-engaging with the job market.

However, just because it was the perfect end to the story that I’d been telling myself and something I truly wanted to accomplish doesn’t mean I get to do it, and certainly not "when I want to do it". It wasn’t my day, not my time; the world had other plans. The weather had turned for the whole north island, 100km/h winds were forecast at 1800 meters for the next few days.?Alpine adventures would have to wait, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I had wanted to stay at Open Polytechnic with my fabulous team and colleagues; I wanted to complete the transformational digital strategy. I wanted to keep working with ITP CIO buddies from across the network.?But you don’t always get what you want, and you need to be OK with that. That’s life.?

At the start of my journey into redundancy, I was far from OK with being torn away from the people, passion and work that I had; (see article one). I was bitter and upset.?But as I sat in that café, NOT being able to do something that I wanted, it dawned on me.

I now look back with fond memories, thankful for the friends and colleagues I met from that time, and glad of the growth, hopeful I will get to work with many of them again in the future. I may never agree with the decisions others made that led to my redundancy, but I couldn’t change them.

I was over it.?Time, adventures and reflection had given me the space I needed to move on.

I was truly ok that I didn’t get to do my final adventure tramp too.

The last day of this leg of my adventures was spent writing in a wonderful café.?Cakes and coffee fuelled my writing, and I reflected that writing my thoughts and remembering the story has been a vital part of this adventure for me.?

You see, I am dyslexic so writing can be a challenge for me; putting out these articles is daunting.?Each is like standing at the foot of a mountain that is about to be climbed.?But I’m learning that daunting challenges are there to be overcome, and brick by brick, one foot after another trusting my process, there is little that I can’t do; it’s only around the next corner.

I drove home, hugged the family and spent a night in my own bed.

My next adventure is a week in Wellington; it’s time to reconnect with the world of work.

It’s time I got a shave. I got this.

There will be exciting news for sure in the next instalment.

Some further photos from the trip

Future Paul here! these are the links to the rest of the blogs I made on redundancy.

• The Post that started me writing about normalising redundancy..
• Article One: Overcoming a funk..
• Article Two: using Adventure to Recharge..
• Article Three: Adventure bound..
• Article Four: The Challenge Ahead..
• Article Five: you don't always get what you want..
• Article Six: sometimes you get something better..
• Article Seven: Life is full of OR's not And's..