Lesson: Leaders Choose Their Identity

While on a call with Gloria Burgess this weekend, she shared a powerful insight: Leaders are made up of what they know and of what they do, but what really makes a leader is the inner essence of their being.

I can relate. In January of 2024, I was a struggling sales agent at a job I did not like. It was high-pressure. I was back in corporate America—two things I said I'd never do again. But I needed the work.

I was cold-calling businesses that already had the services I was selling. It was tough. After about 90 days on the phone with only a few sales that stuck, I realized something had to change. In the past, I'd leave a job because either I was tired of them or they were tired of me. But this time I couldn't help but wonder, "how could I explain leaving a Fortune 50 company with such a great opportunity?"

The first thing I did was "close the back door" to other ways of making money.

At the time, I was making $2,000 a month driving Door Dash part-time. It was good money, and hard to walk away from. But I knew, if I didn't replace that income, I'd be doing Door Dash till I'm 60! And we all know people like that, right? I didn't want that to be my future, if I could choose.

I also changed my thoughts about the job. I remembered I could choose to like almost anything long enough for things to change. Or, either I would change. I started focusing on what made the job more interesting, and what helped me be more comfortable.

Then, I decided to get better at the job. I still didn't know the product real well and I was very unconfident about my success there, because getting sales seemed so uncertain. But I decided to start believing that I could figure this out and become the person that would win there. And win BIG."

I've done well at sales in the past. I can do it here.

The biggest adjustment I made was in my thinking. I chose a new identity—this was an image of the kind of person I wanted to be seen as. After thinking through a lot of what I had learned over the years about sales and success, I decided to focus on a phrase that would convince me of my ability to do the job better than anyone else. Then, project that realization onto every call.

The hope was for my customers to pick up on it, and to adopt the same thoughts and attitude... without me having to tell them.

I wanted them to see me as the person they wanted to do business with. And I said it (in my mind, because I worked in cubicle city) with all of the conviction I could muster. I chose to use supporting beliefs to describe this person—a person that required respect and should be trusted. I wanted them to know I was the person that would give them the best deal. I wasn't the cheapest, but I wouldn't charge a dollar more than I had to... the person that would always do right by them. And even though I still didn't have all the answers, I made sure I was confident about where to find them and how to present them.

This was Gold. I presented myself as a true professional. And it worked!!

After pausing and reflecting on my power phrase between each call, I became more certain about my success. I would tell myself, "Let all 200 agents in this department call them first! But when they get on the phone with me, they'll notice a difference and realize I'm the guy they want to do business with."

Fast forward to January 15th, 2024. It's Martin Luther King, Jr Day and the center was closed, except for a few people volunteering to work overtime. I always work overtime and holidays—I'm the attendance guy. But this time I hesitated. I knew if I drove Door Dash that day I'd make about $235. And if I came in to work, well, it was uncertain if I'd even get a tangible result. At the last minute, I decided to bet on myself and come into work.

Well, the oddest thing happened. When I got in at 8:00 AM, I had two emails from customers wanting to buy my services. Then, as I was dialing, I came across a guy named Shaun. His name's Shaun and my name's Shaun, and we spell it the same way. We hit it off, and he bought! That was three sales in one day... and I never stopped selling.

Gloria Burgess also said, "Personal leadership is taking charge of our own lives and realizing we have control over our thoughts and emotions and actions."

This is such a great reminder that who we become along the way is far more important than the final destination. But who we become is also a choice. The older we get, the more responsibility we have to make our life into something we want.

Are you making the choice?