Lesson: go slow, when asking for intros

TL;DR - just like you would in networking, be extra polite/tactful/grateful/unassuming when asking for introduction inside your own company.

I have a hard time not going straight at a problem. And when I hear about a person who might be able to help solve a problem I'm working on, I go right after them. Because here's the way I've thought it works: in a company, where you're all (ostensibly) working toward the same goal, if you ask for an intro to someone, or for intros to folks who might be useful for some project or goal, you'll immediately get what you ask for. Because your coworker is on your team, right!? They know you're competent and that you mean well, and that your goals are aligned with theirs and with the company's.

But that's not how it often works.

I have spent a fair bit of time being frustrated with people who don't immediately answer questions or requests at work, especially those that involve pointing you to other people. The people who dance around answering, for whatever reason(s). It can feel like you're OWED an introduction when you ask for one on the way to solving some company goal, and it's super frustrating to get indirectly blocked.

I guess this is just a side effect of climbing the ladder; you eventually come across people who see the climb as a zero-sum game, and if they don't know you and don't have reason to believe your goals are aligned with theirs, they just soft block you by not being helpful.

But of course there are more charitable reasons to imagine why folks aren't so forthcoming. They might not want to share their internal network with you for many reasons, especially if there's not high trust yet. For example, if they don't know you're competent and that you won't waste their contact's time, they might be rightly reticent to expose their network to you, since it might well reflect poorly on them.

So here's the lesson I'm trying to internalize, and the behavior:

Lesson: be wary (careful, tactful, extra polite and unassuming) about asking for introductions. In a big enough company, you're NOT all aligned all the time, so be extra polite and don't think you're owed anything.

Secondary lesson: if people block you, just find other, better allies.

Behavior: assume good intentions, PLUS people are competent. If they aren't, you'll hear about it, and you won't give them the benefit of the doubt a second time.