A lesson from Dad on acceptance

Five day until Dad’s 70th birthday and today’s #DadLesson is a very personal one for me.

Lesson 2: Respect everyone’s right to be who they want to be – without judgment.

When I was three-years-old – not long after my brother Sam was born and with a very serious demeanour – I told my mum and dad I wanted to be a boy.

I dressed in boys clothes, I taught myself to pee standing (I know, too much information!) and I point blank refused to play with what, in the late 80’s, would have been seen as girls toys. It turned out this wasn’t a passing phase due to some childhood unease about the arrival of a new sibling, it continued right up until I was nearly eleven-years-old. 

 During that whole time, my mum and dad didn’t blink and they never questioned my decision. I was healthy, enjoying school (aside from being bullied for a little while), I had great friends, I loved sport and was an all-round happy kid. I suspect Mum did miss dressing me up in pretty dresses but if she did I was never made to feel it.

Just before my eleventh birthday I asked my mum if I could get a dress for Christmas. Again, Mum and Dad took my decision in their stride and, importantly, they didn’t make me a big deal of it or pressure me in any way. Later in life, I remember asking them about their total acceptance of a three-year-old’s decision. They said they weren't going to stop me being who I wanted to be. I was surrounded by family who loved me and I was in a safe environment where no one would judge me. I was so lucky they responded the way they did. I know that everyone goes through different experiences and it breaks my heart to hear about young people struggling with their identity and not knowing who to turn to. It must be so frightening and incredibly lonely.  

I’m sharing my experience because the love and support my parents gave me taught me one of life’s most important lessons: We should always respect everyone’s right to be who they want to be - with no judgement. It’s so important to teach your kids that they are loved, safe and valued no matter how they wish to identify. It also taught me, that we should never, ever judge others for choosing to live their own truth – even if that truth may be different from our own.

Dad has instilled the same culture of acceptance and belonging at Virgin over the last 50 years and I’ve continued to passionately promote in my 12 years in the business too. Everyone should feel they can be 100% themselves both at home and at work.

 I will be forever grateful for those foundational memories of loving support, non-judgment and allowing me to be the me I wanted to be. I will carry that with me always. Freddie and I are committed to making sure that our three wonderful children feel the same support and love, no matter what the future holds for them.

 Thank you so very much Mum and Dad.