Lesson For The Day - What Is An Advocate?

This lesson today (which is several days earlier being published than normal) is "What does advocating mean?"

I chose this topic for very personal reasons. Almost four years ago my wife was diagnosed with Ovarian cancer. Since then she has fought the good fight. We knew early on that she was not going to be cured of this terrible disease, but that it could be managed where she could have some type of life. Needless to say, the time is near where her fight is almost over. I write this not to get sympathy, nor to ask for prayers or anything else. I write this because I learned something about being an advocate for her.

So, what does it mean to be an advocate? I use that term to describe what I do in regards to women in motorsports. I started thinking about the term as I do have that in my title. I figured I better really understand what that truly means and am I using the title appropriately. If you read the definition for an advocate, it is a person who publicly supports or recommends a particular cause or policy. But it is so much more than that. It is a person who takes action and commits to ensuring that change occurs with a particular cause or policy.

In the case of my wife, I have had to become the expert on all the conditions and issues associated with my wife's disease and make sure that the doctors and nurses understand her condition, what is normal for her, what is not normal. And sometimes you have to become adamant that something occurs. And, you repeat this on a daily basis. In my case my wife has looked to me for the strength and assurance that if she commits to something, that it is ok and she will be ok. So the added pressure is that her well being hangs on every decision or argument that I have with a care provider. That is monumental - as it should be. I never take it lightly. I learned through this experience what being an advocate is all about. And I am pretty sure I made mistakes along the way, and I'm pretty sure that I didn't speak up when I should have (early on). But at the end of the day, I know that I did what had to be done to ensure that my wife got the best care at that time.

So, going through all of this, I know that in order to be an advocate, you can not sit on the sidelines and hope that change occurs. You can say, "Oh, I am a supporter of women in motorsports." But then I have to question you by asking, "What have you done to prove that?" Saying you are a supporter does nothing. It makes you feel better or important but have you effected change and can you prove that? If the answer is "No" or "I don't know" then you are not an advocate. Sorry. You are a supporter.

In order for things to change or for you to move forward towards achieving a goal, you have to do something. Even if it is not the right thing, you have to do something. Sitting in one spot voicing your support is like having an appendix. It has some value, but if it was removed, you most likely would not notice that it was gone and it really doesn't affect how you live.

People might get comfort from your support, but the real value only comes from those people who actually invest time and energy in understanding an issue in order to devise a strategy to effect change with that issue.

So, maybe there are several lessons wrapped up into one. But, I do know that I will continue to advocate and I will become more vocal and more engaged. How about you? Where do you stand?

As always, thanks for listening / reading. Until next time, I will see you around the track.