A Lesson in Consequences from My Own Will Smith Moment

Two weeks ago, 16.6 million people witnessed Will Smith slap Chris Rock on national TV following a joke about Smith’s wife that clearly was not well-received. There has been much debate in the media over whether Smith’s actions were justified but, we may never know exactly what he was thinking in that moment to generate such a violent reaction. The incident reminded me of an altercation from my past when I, too, learned the hard way that actions in the heat of the moment do have longer lasting consequences when the dust settles.

When I was about nine years old, my little brother, Alfred, and I attended summer camp at the African Heritage Cultural Arts Center in Miami. This eight-week day camp offered several arts classes that we participated in, and at the end there was a recital to showcase what we learned in the areas of liturgical dance, jazz, theater, juggling and more. All the kids were divided into classes by age, so I didn’t have any classes with Alfred, who was six years old. Instead, we would meet up at the end of each day as everyone waited in the main dance room for their parents to arrive.

Alfred, or Alfie as we called him back then, somehow made friends with the older boys in the camp. They were about age 13 and Alfie was more of a little mascot to them than an actual peer. One day toward the end of the summer, the older boys decided they were tired of having Alfie around and they kicked him out of their group. I saw Alfie walking the hall with tears in his eyes and I immediately ran over to him to find out what had happened. When he told me that he was crying because the boys kicked him out of the group, and apparently for no reason, I was furious. I grabbed his little hand and began marching in the direction of the kids. I was looking for the ringleader and I planned to confront him. I found him and the entire crew inside one of the larger dance rooms siting on the floor against the wall.

With Alfie still in tow, I walked up to this teenager, who thankfully was sitting on the ground so I had the advantage of momentary height with my four foot, two inch frame. I asked him, “Did you kick my brother out of your group?” He looked up at me and shrugged his shoulders and replied, “Yeah.” That was it. Full stop. Well, I didn’t have anything else prepared to say so I Will Smithed him right across the face with all my nine-year-old might. Immediately the kids around us broke into a chorus of Oooohs and disbelief at what I had just done.

I took Alfie outside and told him don’t worry about that punk, but as the adrenaline coursing through my veins started to wear off, I began to worry about myself. What had I just done? I knew the Cultural Arts Center had a strict policy on bad behavior and I had just broken it for all the camp to see. How long would it be before someone was going to hold me accountable for my actions?

I didn’t have to wait long to find out. See, the kid that I hit was a problem child. He’d already stacked up two demerits and if he got a third one, he was going to be kicked out the program for good. However, when he went to report me for slapping him, by some strange miracle I didn’t end up in trouble, he did! Because this kid was such a problem child, the administration didn’t want to know why I slapped him. They wanted to know what he had done to me to cause me to slap him. Before the day was out, he got that third demerit and was kicked out, never to be seen again.

Happy Ending, right? Wrong! That was just the beginning of my problems because all of “problem child’s” friends, including his summer camp girlfriend, were furious with me! And despite some of the administration having my back, that didn’t stop these friends from using their influence to make me pay. The end of the camp closing recital was coming up. I had been asked to join an extra liturgical dance performance a few weeks ago and was working like crazy to memorize all the dance moves. Suddenly, my services were no longer needed for that dance. I’d already been assigned to a dressing room with all the girls from that number. Suddenly, I was no longer welcome and was moved elsewhere. At nine years old I was learning what “retaliation” felt like and it didn’t feel good.

Since the instructor who originally asked me to be in the dance was the one who delivered the news of my dismissal and room change “on behalf of the group,” I figured there was no since in fighting it. These were the consequences of my decision to defend my brother and I was fortunate that I hadn’t been suspended from the program and forced to miss the recital altogether. Fortunately, there were still a few numbers that I didn’t get bumped from, so I focused my energy on those. It would be my last summer attending the Cultural Arts Center, but I would never forget how that one spontaneous, uncharacteristic moment initiated a ripple effect that I couldn’t stop.

Will Smith’s slap created its own ripple effect: The Academy Awards has announced that he will be banned from attending the Oscars for the next 10 years. This means that even though he will still be eligible for possible award nominations, he won’t be allowed to receive the award in person. He won’t get to participate in the tradition of coming back next year to present an award to a new winner either. A lot of people believe that this is too harsh a punishment for the crime, and perhaps it is a bit excessive. However, I believe the committee reacted with a severe penalty in hopes of sending a message to anyone else who might now have the idea that interrupting a live TV show is acceptable behavior.

In my case, I hit the kid that was picking on my little brother because I couldn’t find the words to express myself nonviolently. I learned very quickly how wrong it is to put your hands on someone else and I’m fortunate that Problem Child had a Chris Rock moment and he let it go. As we get older, as we’re in the workplace, second chances for bad behavior don’t come very easily. In fact, they are virtually non-existent. I consider Will Smith’s awards show attendance a form of work. From the moment his team submitted his performance for award consideration, then from the moment he was selected as a nominee, a lot of people were working to get that film into the hands of the Academy members to review, to get the film in front of the right critics who would give Smith’s performance glowing reviews. Time and attention were paid to which interviews he would do leading up to the big night and what outfit to wear on the carpet. It. Was. Work!! And then someone joked about Smith’s loved one on what was arguably the biggest night of his life, and for a moment, he lost it. Like myself, his slap had a ripple effect that was out of his control. Like myself, I’m sure he’s learned a valuable lesson. Hopefully, Hollywood will be forgiving and not start kicking Smith out of future gigs that just weeks earlier they were dying to have him participate in.