The Lesson of Congruence
Lesson #5
The Lesson of Congruence
Vocational Burnout to Vocational Boredom
The lesson of congruence is about living in alignment with your values and principles. It's about being true to yourself and acting in a way that is consistent with your deepest beliefs. When you are congruent, there is no gap between who you say you are and who you actually are.
How did you get here? Who put you in a vocation or job that is not your passion? How many more breaths can you breathe before asphyxiation or depression sets in?
You may keep telling yourself you should just be “life-giving” and think positively, quote scripture, or pray, but panic keeps setting in after minutes become hours, and hours become years. You may not be in a coffin without the ability to move your head more than four inches, but your brain to your heart Is almost four inches, and you are stuck in your head because your heart knows you are not fully present. You are not living or working the plan for your life. You are trapped.??
If you are still stuck in the past, then the gift of your present... It is still your past.
In the season of striving to achieve in an arena of sports in college, I was alive but not living; I was in a coffin emotionally because I was fighting for affirmation from not knowing who my father was. My past was hijacking the journey to achieve the goal, and in the process, I could not be fully present and focus on the day-to-day. Take away the promised playing time my freshman year... And I couldn't take the thought of not playing.
The goal was good. Playing and succeeding in life are part of mastery and development. However, when outward forces influence you, like your past, you are driven, and it will work to get you results. However, you may achieve short-sighted results instead of the joy and fulfillment of living a principle-centered life.
What about you? Are you present in your career or life? Or are you barely making it emotionally and mentally??
In the dream I wrote about in the previous article/chapter, my heart rate beat so fast; in my dream in the previous chapter, I could not contain the terror in my soul. I could not see anything; the darkness permeated me, and I realized I needed light to shine on my career after waking up. I was not Alone. You are not alone. You are not underground with no way out. You are still remembered.
There is more to life than just acquiring natural resources, money, influence, and leadership. On the surface, many people hopelessly search for a light to shine on their purpose so they can find satisfaction in a job or life they feel stuck in. Life is a special occasion; what we do with the moments and minutes determines how we live.
Are you ready to break out of the vocational coffin? Follow me. We are going somewhere.?
You must be courageous to follow through on your good intentions and do something about this. You will be challenged to act. This journey together is not just to inspire you with leadership content, stories, and catchy sayings to add to your repertoire. This is a desperate attempt to start a conversation.
Do You Have a Clear Path?
Anyone aiming for growth without understanding themselves will lack inspiration.?
The psychological study of inspiration has been limited, though it is known to be linked with positive emotions and to enhance well-being and the spread of creative ideas However, little is understood about why people act—or don't act—on feelings of inspiration.?
Personal characteristics and past experiences influence the reception of inspiration, which can arise from both internal and external sources across various domains. This means what is inspirational to one person may not inspire another, and reactions to inspiration can vary widely. For instance, a skilled writer might pen a poem or story, an artist might create a painting, and others may pursue personal or altruistic goals. Some may choose to reflect on the moment of inspiration.
In the scholarly work titled, Inspiration: Examining Its Emotional Correlates and Relationship to Internalized Values, David J. Jennings II explores the psychological study of inspiration. In his dissertation, for a Doctor of Philosophy at Virginia Commonwealth University, he researches how inspiration is linked to positive emotions and can significantly enhance well-being when people’s lives are aligned to what they are inspired to do.?
The study of inspiration as a psychological concept has not been widely explored. In his dissertation, Dr. David Jennings reviewed the existing research on inspiration and introduced a new theoretical model and definition. He conducted two studies to test his Value-Congruent Model of Inspiration and this new definition.
In the first study, with 134 participants, Dr. Jennings examined the emotional aspects linked to inspiration. He specifically looked at whether people feel more inspired if what inspires them aligns with their personal values and meanings. The results confirmed his hypothesis: feelings of inspiration were positively associated with feelings of admiration, awe, and elevation. Moreover, inspiration was more intensely felt when the stimuli matched individual values.
In the second study, with 173 participants, Dr. Jennings replicated the first study's results and also explored whether inspiration that aligns with one's values could predict actions and intentions, particularly regarding environmental preservation. While the specific measure for internalized values did not perform as expected, the results did show that commitment to the environment significantly predicted a willingness to make sacrifices for the environment or needs of a group. Feelings of inspiration partially drove this willingness to show up for others.
"The adapted measure of self-concordance for internalized values did not yield the predicted results. However, one’s viii level of commitment to the environment predicted willingness to sacrifice for the environment, which was partially mediated by state inspiration." (Dr. Jennings).
I've noticed that individuals typically fall into three categories regarding life direction:
Those Without Inspiration on Their Goals
These individuals often feel lost, lacking a clear sense of purpose or direction. Their growth, if any, is haphazard and unfocused. They dabble and drift, unable to fulfill their potential due to a lack of defined objectives. Burndown boredom causes work and tasks to become drudgery.?
Those Who Know Their Goals but Struggle to Pursue Them
These individuals often experience frustration as they grapple with the gap between their current reality and their aspirations. They may fear neglecting responsibilities or hesitate to pay the necessary price for growth. Fear can also hinder them from pursuing their passions, resulting in unfulfilled potential.
Those Who Pursue Their Goals with Clarity and Determination
This group understands themselves well, possesses a strong sense of purpose, and actively pursue growth aligned with their passions. They are focused, purpose-driven, and fulfill their potential even if they are doing a job that is not their sweet spot yet.?
While most people's circumstances aren't as extreme as experiencing boredom, many still find themselves in the first category, lacking clear direction. Often, this stems from a lack of self-awareness, hindering focused growth.
Understanding oneself isn't always easy.?
As Woodrow Wilson highlighted in a Princeton commencement address: We live in an age disturbed, confused, bewildered, afraid of its own forces, in search not merely of its road but even of its direction. There are many voices of counsel, but few voices of vision; there is much excitement and feverish activity, but little concert of thoughtful purpose. We are distressed by our ungoverned, undirected energies and do many things, but nothing long. It is our duty to find ourselves. We live in the 21st century, imagine how important it is to be inspired with today’s complex information overload pace we live in.?
"We must view with profound respect the infinite capacity of the human mind to resist the introduction of useful knowledge“ Thomas Lounsbury
Overcrowded with a Public Image
The world is addicted to leadership, influence, revenue, fame, output, and results. However, research reveals that 70% of all Leadership change initiatives fail. In global corporations, when leadership initiatives fail or the leadership behaviors in companies fail to create better leadership practices, money, time, and talent are wasted. What is going on? It is apparent after studying thought leaders and the opportunity to work for Dr. Ken Blanchard and help some of the world’s most respected global organizations with their leadership and talent management learning journeys. Better leadership in our ranks is essential for businesses and companies to flourish and keep up with the challenges of today's competitive environment. But what about our souls? Many of us have the pain of not being fulfilled at work if we are truthful. I assumed in my world view that knowledge workers who are highly educated in their respective fields are more than likely to feel more content with their careers and settings in life. But what does research reveal? The insidious problem no one talks about is many of us are vocationally depressed.
Gallup’s State of the Global Workplace states that “only 15 percent of employees are engaged in the workplace” when this book was written. This research reveals that Dr. Pareto’s 20/80 rule is often correct. In this case, almost twenty percent of the workforce produces 80 percent of the results. More interestingly, according to Gallup, “33 percent of U.S employees are engaged at work,” almost more than half of the global statistics.
Companies lose billions yearly with turnover, low engagement, and low work passion. This problem results in intense customer devotion to your business or product. However, this is no new phenomenon under the sun. This is only a growing problem that has always been. The problem could be we have forgotten the importance of following and being a protégé. We are creating orphans with no mentors or fathers. An entire generation is leaving the workforce, and by 2025, most statistics predict millennials will be 75% of the workforce. World views are colliding, values are changing, people rise and fall, and money comes and goes, but what matters most is how we live. Not just what we do.?
Executives and Human Resources Directors feel responsible for increasing employee engagement and decreasing turnover to demonstrate the R.O.I of better leadership practices that create customer devotion or loyalty for the world’s most respected brands. Middle-level managers spend antimonious amounts of time motivating and inspiring their people. However, we will spend approximately 90,000 hours working, and even in the highest of organizational charts, we are still following someone. There is so much pressure to lead up, lead down, and be a 360-degree leader, thanks to the work of Dr. John Maxwell. We need to be better leaders, yet if we are not careful, we forget the importance of following our leaders and being loyal.
If we get so focused on “leadership” and fail to see the importance of helping our leaders and employees who report to us be successful, we can fall prey to our ego and have an idol of leadership in our lives, which is also called false pride. Pride can destroy our souls and cause us never to be satisfied until we reach the top. And when we get to the top, we become self-serving leaders with egos causing fear and self-doubt. When we lead from a place of insecurity, we cause problems as vision leaks, and culture eats vision for breakfast.?
Our purpose must be, as Ken Blanchard teaches, to “flip the organizational pyramid upside down” so we can help people succeed at work and in life. Research reveals the happiest people are those who help other people. We are not designed to be self-absorbed; when we get the focus off ourselves, we have more satisfied lives.?
Congruence is defined to mean conformity or agreement. To live in congruence with your beliefs and values means that your lifestyle choices, day-to-day activities, conversation, and thought-life reflect what you hold to be right and important – both in God’s sight and in your own. Being incongruent involves saying, thinking or doing things that make you feel bad or wrong, or which otherwise violate your conscience. Examples of incongruence include having an affair when you believe in marital faithfulness, cheating on your taxes despite saying that you value honesty, gossiping about a friend even though you treasure your relationship, or yelling at your spouse and children despite having been very injured by the same behavior when growing up.
The real lessons of inspiration start by being vs. doing. When you become congruent with your private life and business life you enjoy the moments and relationships, results and success you have with an inspiring example.?
"When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity." -Dale Carnegie
“Never the land, Never the Brand, Always the Man” -Troy Duhon CEO Premier Nissan?
The most fulfilling, life-changing mindset a leader can adopt is the lesson that significance is in the journey itself. There are too many uncertainties and variables out of our control to define our significance with outcomes only. Life is more than the sum total of achievements and results you win; it is an adventure to learn that the big opportunities we spend all our lives chasing or achieving success but rather something inside us to inspire us for more than just success but the highest level of inspiration…Significance.?
Troy Duhon, the multibillion-dollar Company CEO of Premier Nissan, is from New Orleans, LA, and has a story about what it means to truly be on the journey to significance. His leadership is more than just influence, as the inspiration he discovered from his father’s dying breath gives insight into the lesson of Congruence.?
Premier Automotive hit the ground running in 1995. Premier has expanded from one Toyota dealership in New Orleans to 21 dealerships spread across the country into Kansas, Texas, Missouri, and California. When I talk to my friend Troy Duhon, I always know that the success of Premier Automotive is not just about his business strategy to open as many dealerships as possible, but instead he understands the secret of inspiration is not chasing some external opportunity in the distance, but rather the great purpose to serve others and give them hope. A simple Google search of Troy and Tracy Duhon and their nonprofit Giving Hope reveals their inspiration to give hungry people hope by feeding them and contributing to a great opportunity of significance.?
Will you take part in the movement and tell people, “God’s Not Dead”?
As I began to write the lesson of Congruence,? I knew Troy and Tracy’s story would inspire many. In "The Lesson of the Gift" chapter, I describe how Troy introduced me to Dr. Rice Broocks, author of God's Not Dead. Although we did not continue to build an organization together, I continue to apply the lessons I learned as a writer and leadership development facilitator to engage people and empower lives in business.
So often, we look at a leader's external success and make the mistake of thinking it is about their brand, magic location, or formula. In reality, the most successful and significant leaders are inspired by living congruent lives. Troy and Tracy are congruent with their personal and public lives. Their business success is often less important to them than their opportunity to give hope to people who need food.
Troy’s mom filed for a divorce at the age of 11 years old. In the seventies, divorce in the community was socially not accepted. His father was outwardly successful in the car business. A “Social Drunk,” he was highly effective on the outside, but on the inside, he was filled with a void and addiction that was robbing him and his family of significance. One day, a used car manager told his dad to take his wife to church. Troy’s dad loved his mom, but he also loved to drink. He took them to a church where he said, “These people are crazy.” But something happened instead of “Suppressing pain, disappointment or failure by numbing the lack of significance with alcohol.
His dad saw happy people at church. He was drawn to that happiness. The Third time, he went to the altar and asked the preacher to pray for him. His mom saw him doing something he had never seen before. His dad cried for an hour. This inspiring moment proved to his mother that her husband of hers was truly INSPIRED. Troy remarked to me that day, my father woke up for the first time in his life and he did not go after the rum and coke.?
He went from a charismatic car salesman to a "fire-baptized preacher." His dad raised him in the car business and continued preaching on the weekends During Troy’s father’s final words on his deathbed. He told him not to let your mother put me in the hospital. "The Lord is calling me, and it's my time." With tears coming down his cheek with a double handshake. “Don’t ever shut down that food bank.”??
“Really, Dad, Why?” Troy said.?
“No one will remember how many cars you sold in your life, but the lord is counting every time you feed his people.” You have to have a legacy beyond money, success, notoriety, and social media followers. What is the big opportunity that you are going to leave behind? When you feed God’s people, you leave a godly legacy, and that is what matters.”
“You need to become a dream maker.”
With those words, he put his arm out for morphine, and the last words Troy heard from his father, “Never the land, Never the Brand, Always the Man.”
Troy applies the Lesson of Congruence in business in a way that inspires a movement, not just profit.?
Dream makers help people’s dreams come true. Each dealership has an operating partner who becomes an owner who, many times, could never afford to buy a car dealership. Through partnering with Troy, their lifelong dream comes true, and they invest and inspire their people to not just succeed but to achieve significance.?
In theory, inspirational content always sounds good, but what about in the real business world, where tactical advantage is everything? Adversity always inspires. I asked Troy, what adversity have you had to find inside of you to continue inspiring?
Katrina, he says without missing a beat. During the storm, CNN showed eastern New Orleans, but he didn’t see the dealership from the air. There were no cars. Troy thought someone had stolen his dealership’s cars. But the cars were all underwater. He started crying. Everything he owned was underwater. His dad was alive in 2005. “Son, let me tell you something. “That brick and mortar and franchise comes and goes.” Take care of your employees because they are the only ones who will help you make it?
They operated the food bank and Giving Hope immediately after the hurricane. They were inspired, not just motivated. Success came, and it was lost, but they were inspired by something inside them. Forty percent of the employees came back with a purpose and inspiration when they saw they would be an outlet to make people's dreams come true who lacked opportunities.?
Troy smiled and said, “I saw a man whose home is underwater serving people invigorating stories all around the business and city.” The minute you become a dream maker and let people see your partners, they peel the onions back and begin to realize that this is a different organization. Significant leaders care about the profit and Inspiration they bring.?
领英推荐
Navigating Challenges: Enhancing Inspiration with Impact to the quadruple bottom line.
Any industry has dashboards. Identify the measurables you need to concentrate on, but only OVERWHELM PEOPLE with a little information. Identify the critical results you want so the lesson of Congruence in your life can have success to build into significance. People need more than a paycheck to go beyond the norm. People need to see the significance quotient. What if there is more than a paycheck? What if it’s someone you feed them in a different part of the world??
Each dealership has measurables. The industry is tough; interest is up, and supply chain issues abound. The cost of an automobile is always getting higher. Today the average price is $50,000. Just a few years ago, the average cost was $36,000. We are entering “headwinds of challenges.” You must have a reason to persevere through the challenge with more than just outside success.
?“Profit is a byproduct of the quality of your employees.” There has to be a purpose for the profit that is greater than the profit. “The most inspiring moment was when Katrina hit us. We had five dealerships at the time, and exactly four of the five were destroyed. We lost over 1,200? cars and had insurance receivables of over 30 million.?
In Ken Blanchard’s book, Leading at a Higher Level, he says that “In high performing organizations, everyone’s energy is focused on … four bottom lines – being the: Quadruple Bottom Line
Troy provides insight into what it means to truly be on the journey to apply the lesson of Congruence. No matter where you are pursuing significance in life and work. This inspiring lesson can help you discover your pathway to discovering inspiration and equip you with what you will need to pivot if necessary, as well as find your opportunities to inspire through adversity.?
The 3 Things
When you surrender less-than-genuine notions of “success” and realize that daily inspiration is what makes others' dreams real, you haven’t just changed the game of success—you’ve become a significant success.
Significance is what the lesson of congruence is about… living in alignment with your values and principles.
?It's about being true to yourself and acting in a way that is consistent with your deepest beliefs. When you are congruent, there is no gap between who you say you are and who you actually are.
Congruent Influence
1) What difference have you made today in other people’s lives?
2) What talents did you lean on to make an impact?
3) Where can you leverage the best of these talents tomorrow to achieve and exceed your most important goals?
4) Are your actions aligning with whom you're becoming?
Discovering the depths of your impact as an inspirational leader is transformational. In the realm of persuasive communication, Aristotle's modes of persuasion—pathos, ethos, and logos—have long been revered as indispensable tools for connecting with an audience so that you are congruent with who you are and how people see you.
Passion
Pathos appeals to emotions, evoking empathy, sympathy, or other feelings within the audience to sway their opinions.?
Ethics = Be who you present
Ethos focuses on establishing credibility and trustworthiness, relying on the speaker's character, authority, and integrity to convince others.?
Truth = Align your values into actions so they become virtues inside you instead of flyers on a wall
Today, there is a noticeable shift from the relativistic notion that "everyone has their truth" toward a pursuit of absolute truth that is applicable and effective in real life. This evolution underscores a demand for principles and solutions congruent with universally valid truths and practical applications.
Embracing this shift does not mean discarding tolerance and respect for different viewpoints; these values are essential for fostering constructive dialogues where diverse perspectives are critically examined. Being open yet critical allows us to challenge assumptions and refine our understanding, enriching our discourse and leading to more informed and effective outcomes.
Conversely, logos emphasizes logical reasoning and evidence, aiming to persuade through sound arguments and rationality.?
It's not about the ancient faith or works. It's Faith that works
Amidst these pillars of persuasion and congruence lies an often overlooked element—charis, or charisma. Unlike the others, Charis transcends mere appeal to emotion, credibility, or logic. It embodies the magnetic charm and personal magnetism that captivates and inspires others, leading them to follow and believe willingly. While pathos, ethos, and logos provide the foundation, it's Charis that adds the inspiration longterm, transforming persuasion, influence, and charisma into genuine connection and enthusiasm.?
“Inspiration” means literally “God-breathed” (theopneustos)—God initiates this inspiration. He reveals the perfect message about the lesson of Congruence.
No matter your faith, real-life inspiration is available in this area of your life as the bible has been the most authoritative wisdom literature in human history to live your life.
The Bible stands as the best-selling book of all time, with estimates suggesting that between 5 and 7 billion copies have been printed since its contents were standardized about 1,500 years ago. Here's a brief look at the inspiration of this influential text:
This dramatic increase over centuries highlights the Bible's enduring influence and its role in the spread of literacy and printing technology.
The Doctrine of Inspiration?
So here in 1 Peter 1:11, what is said about the Spirit’s guiding work for the Old Testament prophets is true of the entire Bible. This is called the doctrine of inspiration, and it’s why the Bible is the first and final authority in our lives.?
Inspiration is what Paul describes in 2 Timothy 3:16 when he says, “All Scripture is breathed out by God…” Now that word “breathed out by God” is the literal meaning of divine inspiration. It’s the same thing Peter talks about in 2 Peter.
For no prophecy was ever produced by the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.?(2 Peter)
This means that in the Bible the human authors wrote nothing but what God intended. Everything said by the prophets, everything said in his Book, is breathed out by God, birthed by the Holy Spirit, so that whatever the Bible says, God says.?
Enthusiasm
"En-theos" originates from ancient Greek, where "en" means "in" and "theos" translates to "god" or "divine." Thus, "en-theos" essentially denotes being filled with inspiration or the Spirit of God. This concept implies a profound connection to something greater than oneself, evoking a sense of purpose, passion, and fervor driven by a spiritual or higher calling regardless of the struggle or success.?
When one experiences "en-theos," they are infused with a deep sense of inspiration, motivation, and enthusiasm, often leading to extraordinary creativity, dedication, and achievement in their endeavors.
To inspire at the highest level, you have to purpose inside you that is more powerful than power dynamics of people. An influential pastor, Dale Galloway asserts that “some leaders want to make followers. I want to make leaders. Not only do I want to make leaders, but I want to make leaders of leaders. And then leaders of leaders of leaders.”
Once you are able to follow that pattern, there is almost no limit to the growth of your organization.?
Once you grasp the lesson of congruence, inspiring the alignment of your inner values with the virtues displayed publicly, there is almost no limit to your organization's growth.
Inspiring leaders is hard work and requires time, energy, and resources. Leadership development is not a simple process and cannot be rushed.
Real-Life Application
“No one cares what you know until they know that you care!” - Benjamin Franklin
-------------------------
“The first question I ask CEOs attending my leadership seminars is: Have you connected with your people today?” – Mike Krzyzewski
-------------------------
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou
-------------------------
“Leadership is a potent combination of strategy and character. But if you must be without one, be without strategy.” - General Norman Schwarzkopf
They people you habitually associate are called your "reference group," and these people determine as much as 95 percent of your success or failure in life. Dr. David McCleland of Harvard?
"Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm." (Proverbs)"
Region 1 Manager at Novo Building Products
7 个月Can't wait for the book to come out, I will be the first to buy it!