Lesson #5: The Strength of Us: The Power of Relationships

As we conclude our journey through my leadership lessons from 2023's crucible, I arrive at a fundamental truth that underpins effective leadership and enriches our lives: the irreplaceable value of our people.

In "Lesson #5: The Strength of Us: Lessons in Leadership and the Power of Relationships," I will share many personal reflections, but my primary focus for this final blog of the series is to celebrate the power of relationships, including the intricate networks that sustain us, the resilient communities that uplift us, and the collective spirit that propels us forward.

In moments of adversity, our instinct often leads us inward. We marshal resources, steel our resolve, and seek strength from within. Unfortunately, sometimes, during an introspective journey, we may overlook a critical element of resilience: the power of connection.

When we are in a challenging situation, our professional and personal relationships provide vital lifelines, guiding us through uncertainty. This interconnected web of advisors, confidants, friends, and family forms the backbone of our resilience, offering us counsel as appropriate but, even more importantly, giving us a compassionate shoulder to lean on when the world's weight presses down.

As leaders, we must recognize that our strength lies in our ability to maintain unwavering resolve during a crisis, and often, the bonds we have forged with our network of peers, mentors, and friends create the foundation of our resilience in the face of adversity. Our people are not mere supporters but pillars of our strength and resilience. In vulnerability, we find the courage to seek support, acknowledge our humanity, and rise together.

In this final lesson, I will explore the significance of leaning on and protecting those within our community, the beauty of vulnerability in leadership, the courage to seek support, and the art of nurturing relationships that stand the test of time and trial.

This lesson is a testament to the profound realizations I gleaned from a season marked by unprecedented challenges and reminds us that the bonds we share with others can amplify our inner strength.

Leaning On and Protecting Your Community

In times of crisis and challenge, the strength of a community becomes more apparent and essential. During these times, our community acts not merely as a support network but as a profound mirror reflecting our strengths and vulnerabilities. This reflection is not just about seeing our capabilities or shortcomings but recognizing the collective power that emerges when we unite.

However, we must remain aware of the delicate balance between the strength we gain from the collective power and strengths of our community and the leadership imperative to support and protect your team. When we lean on our community during times of trial, it's crucial to do so with a sense of responsibility and awareness of our impact on the collective whole. There is a symbiotic relationship between individual needs and communal health. Responsible leadership depends on and fortifies community bonds. Still, as leaders, we have a dual responsibility to draw on communal resources while safeguarding them, ensuring that our reliance does not compromise the well-being or stability of the group.

Therein was a problem for me during the most recent crises: how could I protect my people while holding fast to the ideals of transparent and collaborative leadership that are invaluable to me? I struggled to openly communicate the depth of our challenges because my protective instincts pushed me to shoulder the load and protect my team. I wanted to maintain our culture of mutual aid and trust where community members felt valued and understood as helpers and stakeholders in the collective journey. Yet, I desperately needed everyone to focus on our students, mission, and vision, shielded from the painful and frightening fallout.

Balancing the dual roles of drawing strength from and safeguarding our community is a central trait of responsible leadership. Through this delicate balance, we foster a resilient community that thrives on mutual support and collective well-being.

The Beauty of Vulnerability and the Courage to Ask for Support

Many leaders, myself included, feel pressured constantly to be confident and in control. I recall a former boss who emphasized the importance of never letting anyone 'see you sweat'—a directive that holds even greater weight for women in leadership, where any show of emotion might be a perceived weakness. While confidence is undoubtedly vital, I've come to believe that vulnerability is equally crucial. It humanizes us, fostering genuine connections and shared experiences. Being open about our vulnerabilities during tough times doesn't weaken us; instead, it reveals a profound strength that invites others to engage with us more deeply, nurturing an environment of open communication and mutual respect.

However, showing our vulnerabilities must go hand in hand with the courage to ask for help. It's one thing to let others see our struggles—it's another to step forward and actively seek support. Influential leaders cultivate environments where asking for help is recognized as a sign of foresight and wisdom, not a weakness. This mindset shift is essential for both our well-being and the health of our organizations.

The most severe crisis of my career, my crucible in this blog series, tested me profoundly. I've navigated numerous professional challenges, but none as daunting as facing intense personal attacks and frightening threats. I wanted to bear this burden alone, shielding even my closest family, colleagues, team members, and allies – my people -- from the full extent of my stress and strain. But they saw through my fa?ade. My people didn't just watch; they stepped in, offering steadfast support—sometimes forcefully, sometimes quietly, but always there. They refused to let me isolate myself, showing me that it's OK not to be OK. This crisis taught me the true power of vulnerability, allowing me to be human and demonstrating how many people cared about me and supported me.

My people taught me the beauty of vulnerability by giving me the courage to be human without fear of being judged weak, and they taught me the power of vulnerability by standing by me and never doubting my ability to withstand the crucible.

This experience has profoundly shaped my leadership. It taught me the importance of creating a space where vulnerability is not just accepted but encouraged and where the strength of our connections defines the strength of our leadership. Moving forward, I prioritized building a culture that gives every team member psychological safety to express their challenges and confidence in seeking support. This approach has helped us navigate difficult times and strengthened our bonds, ensuring we are more resilient.

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Nurturing Relationships

"I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship." ~ Brené Brown

In a world that often prioritizes the immediate and the visible, nurturing deep, lasting relationships requires intentional effort and steadfast commitment. These relationships are not merely maintained by the absence of conflict but are continually enriched through mutual respect, active engagement, and the shared experiences that bind people together over time. They require us to show up during moments of crisis and be present in the quieter moments—the everyday interactions that build the foundation of trust and understanding.

Building such relationships means actively listening to others and understanding their perspectives and feelings. It involves showing appreciation for their big and small contributions and consistently affirming their value. This environment allows people to feel safe and supported, fostering a sense of belonging that empowers everyone to share more openly and connect more deeply.

Moreover, these relationships thrive on reciprocity—a fluid and natural give-and-take. It's about offering support as readily as we receive it, acknowledging that everyone has something valuable to contribute. This mutual exchange deepens our bonds, creating a network of support that can withstand the pressures and challenges that inevitably come. In these relationships, we find the courage to be vulnerable, the strength to persevere, and the joy that enriches our lives.

By committing to these practices, we sustain our relationships and allow them to evolve and adapt over time. Like any living system, relationships grow and change; our willingness to adapt to them determines their longevity and quality. As leaders, colleagues, friends, and family, our ability to nurture these connections not only shapes our immediate community but also sets a precedent for how relationships can give us strength when needed and fill our lives with joy.

A Call to Action

As we wrap up this series, I invite you to reflect on the relationships in your life. Consider how you can actively nurture these connections to be stronger and more resilient. Think about moments when you could show vulnerability or ask for help and how this openness could transform your interactions and leadership. I encourage you to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments or connect with me on social media. Let's continue this meaningful conversation about the power of relationships and the impact of supportive communities in our lives.

Conclusion

This blog is the final in my five-part series about leadership in the crucible. Thank you for joining me on this deeply personal journey through the crucible of leadership challenges. It's been a process of reflection, learning, and growth that I hope has inspired you as much as it has transformed me. In line with the philosophy of Live Your Purpose Leadership, let us carry forward the lessons learned in our professional lives and in every relationship we cherish. Remember, the strength of our communities and the support we give and receive are the foundation of effective leadership and the bedrock of a fulfilling life. Here's to building connections that stand the test of time and trial and to a future where we lift each other through every challenge and success.

To read more of my blog posts, please visit my Leading with Purpose: A Journey of the Heart and Mind , at my website: Live Your Purpose Leadership (JanetSpriggs.com ).

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