Less blah blah - more impact

Dear managers and specialists out there, please learn to get to the point - stop wasting others time and motivation. I’ll try it as well! :)

Think about that person in a meeting that always talks too much. The one that always needs to share another story aaand another story, filling every inch with filling words so nobody can interrupt their thinking flow…. Is it you? Or is it someone in your team?

I confess, I used to be that person - a communication mess, drowning in a sea of words without a clear direction. A member of my family is communicating like that and I copied it growing up. I talked a lot but failed to get to the point, often succumbing to the trap of excessive chatter. And the worst was - I even had a thinking process like that!

Fortunately my communication trainer mentors Chris Mulzer and Christian Pessing then pulled the plug in my twenties. Here's the issue: Many of us often let discussions repeat, failing to get straight to the point. On a rational level, excessive talking leads to wasted time and by that also money, resulting in losing competitiveness. On an emotional level, it demotivates people and erodes the respect of the people towards you.

From my perspective: Most of the modern team communication cultures should have the goal of being servant for one another - people just need to say as much as the group needs to fulfill their business, personal growth and social goals.

But why do some people talk so much?

• A lack of reflection might be the core reason. Are they aware of their communication? Did anybody give them proper feedback?
• Some might also think that more is better or that they are paid for taking the most time and space in the room.
• The cultural background might also play a big role for the understanding of the amount of words to describe what you mean. In some cultures it’s more important to describe the whole picture and the higher you are in hierarchy the more answers might be expected by you. I highly recommend exploring the "Culture Code" book by Erin Meyer for insights into cultural dynamics.
• Some people are in certain topics super “detail-oriented” - it’s their natural way of thinking and communicating - their profile (if you want to know more about this: look up NLP meta programs).
• A need for attention can be a reason - I want to be heard and recognized in our group. And talking a lot is my way to get there.
• Some of us just have a big need of sharing themselves and their thoughts.

So - how can we help each other?

It's definitely a topic where our colleagues and us need support: For many of us it‘s hard to give others feedback (especially when they are formally your manager) on their communication again and again and again to support you to get to a lasting change. Even though they need it. It’s a behavior that might have strong neural connections that were established over decades. It needs a constant and conscious focus on the topic for lasting change.

Ask if they want help and how you can give them feedback on an everyday basis without pushing their ego in front of others too much.

In our workshops we ask if they could repeat what they just said in just one sentence for example. We set timers, to create the awareness of time. And we learn together to respect the timer. We record them in 1on1 coaching sessions because some people can even forget what they just said.

Give people who need attention in other circumstances the stage to shine in an environment where they don’t hurt your team's productivity. Give them recognition in between.

Let's strive for communication that adds value without unnecessary noise. Having the flexibility to say more if needed or less when possible. I hope I got to the point and you have a nice day.

PS: If you need any support in your team, feel free to get in touch and direct message me.

Next time I’ll share my thoughts on how to support “shy” colleagues to talk more and share more of their thoughts!

Let′s do this! ??

If you would like to read this post in german, please go to our blog on the website:

https://www.digital-leader-program.de/blog/less-blah-blah-more-impact

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