Legendary Leader

When I was very young I had an aversion to the word leader. In my short life at the time I had not had any positive experiences with leadership that I could recall. I was wrong of course, but people who were good leaders were not classified as leaders in my mind. In my limited thinking a leader was someone who tried to domineer and control your actions, and they stifled your creativity. Over time I realized these people were not leaders, but did hold the role of authority figure.

Some people believe leaders are born, some believe they can be created. Once I learned what real leadership was I was determined to be one. Unfortunately, for me that seemed impossible. I feel awkward calling myself a leader, and most likely will not refer to myself that way. I believe it is not humble or tactful to place the label leader on oneself. I believe others have to give you that label. Almost like something you earn, but there are a wide variety of ways to define a person as a leader.?

Instead of writing about all the ways I consider a person a leader I instead wanted to discuss what I believe the purpose of a leader is. A leader is a helper. An assistant. Someone who is willing to come alongside you and be there for support, but they do not do the work for you. They do not micromanage. They do not unduly criticize or diminish you or your work. Leaders cultivate. They cultivate themselves. They cultivate others around them through actions and influence. Persuasion in the purest form. They are not there to sell you what works for selfish gain. Instead they are there to encourage, step back, encourage, step back. There, but not interfering unless absolutely necessary. When interference is necessary, those occasions usually call for "tough love" or setting clear and healthy boundaries.

Leaders know when to speak out and leaders know when to shut up. But leaders are not perfect. Let us keep that in mind. Anyone can be a leader. I used to hate the silence of leaders. I learned over time that in many cases this silence was wise and timely. Especially, from spiritual leaders.?

Spiritual leaders are often bombarded with questions about why God (or whoever your higher power is) "let" something happen, or why God did not prevent something etc. While it is important for leaders to address these questions, there are times where offering prayer is the only current answer. Not because the spiritual leader does not know the answer and not because the leader has something against you. Some spiritual leaders know full well that sometimes we need to learn a lesson and sometimes we are not ready to hear that lesson. Which is why I admire specific spiritual leaders for their willingness to pray and offer support, but not advice. Ages ago I would have thought this was rude, but it is not. It is wisdom and grace to the max.?

This also translates over to business leadership. Leaders in business are not there to give us all the answers. Leaders in this sense are there to help us reach our career and professional goals by modeling how to do so and by pointing us in the direction of the resources that can help us, but they do not take any steps for us. They can write recommendations on our behalf if we ask nicely, but they know where to give constructive criticism and when to give adequate and appropriate praise.?

Leaders who work in partnership with other leaders, likewise can offer support to their partners, but they cannot act for them, but can act on their behalf. If I am supporting an external partnership in my professional role, it is my job to listen actively, ask for guidance from other leaders if appropriate, and to offer the best solution available. Humans need other humans. We need community and we need to work together. Positive collaborations make the world a better place.?

For years when people asked me, "What do you want to do for a living?" My reply was, "I want to help others!" How vague is that? Too vague. Way too vague. That is where talent and strengths come in. Your talent and your strengths, like mine, will determine how you help others. So if my talents are strategic, input, connectedness, individualization, and adaptability, and I am skilled at writing and analyzing data, then there are a few ways I can best help others.

I can strategize a foolproof plan like nobody's business. Why? Because I love and crave input. Research is my game. Once people learned this about me they started messaging me for advice. Let me be 100% honest. I feel like an absolute legend when people ask me for help regarding these strengths. I feel all powerful even if I might not be. It is an ego boost to the max and I will go out of my way to find the answers they need. Within reason. One must have healthy boundaries of course. I will also let others know when I cannot find what they seek or if I do not know.?

In my personal life this has translated as research about essential oils (something I am passionate about) and research about domestic violence, although that one is easier to find answers for since I have experienced it first hand. But if you ask me a question I will almost always find you an answer. Some people think this is because I "just know." This is incorrect. I do not always "just know." In fact, almost always when I give an answer it is because I know how to research. If an answer is out there, I will find it. Curiosity has not killed this cat yet. Let us keep it that way.?

The other reason strategizing a plan is effective for me is because of my connectedness strength. I can see patterns and trends clearly and quickly, and I can quickly see when a person is a good fit for a particular skill or role (individualization strength there). Take the 2016 election. It was brutal for many. I have never in my short life seen an election bring out such anger and reactions from people (myself included), but I followed the patterns and trends I was watching. I saw a few different scenarios and waited for them to pan out, and what I predicted might happen, did happen. Does the mean I knew exactly what would happen? No. I am not a psychic. However, I saw several potential outcomes and one of those outcomes happened.?

This brings us to adaptability. I see the patterns, try and strategize for the best outcome, and then adapt as the scenario changes. I may be good in a crisis and I certainly love finding a good solution for those I collaborate with. It gives me that dopamine rush so many of us need or are lacking (I am talking to my neurodivergent warriors here). Does this make me a good leader? I want to say that it encourages me to aspire to be a legendary leader, but that is for others to decide. Either way, I'll be over here doing my best and taking my best with me wherever I go.

I know some legendary leaders, and some of them I have only known a short while. Knowing someone is legendary after only a short time period usually means they are legitimately skilled at leading. I aspire to be like them and to be the greatest version of myself. I encourage you to also be the greatest version of yourself. Lead others, encourage others, adapt, use that introspection and intuition, get the job done well.?

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