Led by donkeys, taken for fools?

I really shouldn't be here this week. At this exact point in time I should be in Bermuda: the itinerary for Sunday afternoon was "croquet on the lawn". Never played croquet and I imagine I'd be hopeless at it but I would have been happy to give it a go. Milton meant the party we were joining had to be postponed, so here I am.

And for a change, I've been paying some attention to the News!

Too Many Cooks.

Many years ago, as I was returning from my second maternity leave, my old boss, newly promoted to the board, asked if I'd come back as Director of Communications.

"Don't you already have one of those?" I asked.

"Yes" he replied. "Well, actually, we have three. Four if you count the Director of Marketing."

Turns out, there was one Director who looked after all the communication coming from the CEO; a second who wasn't allowed anywhere near that messaging and who sat in a different building, looking after all communication that went to "the staff", ie not the partners but the "people" as in "people are our most valuable asset" (except when you haven't sold enough work and you have to fire some of them); a third who styled himself Director of Brand who sat in yet another building and who thought about the logo and what message that was giving to the market place. And finally the Director of Marketing who controlled all the messaging to clients. Or who thought she did. Mostly brochures and events.

Cats in a bag would sum it up. They were all great at what they did but what they did was by no means joined up. Miscommunication aplenty. Funnily enough they also didn't really get on with each other even though as individuals they were all extremely nice.

I took the job and let my boss deal with the fallout, we combined all communication under one umbrella and everything went smoothly for a good while. Until I myself was ousted in the next boardroom reshuffle, but that's another story.

Morgan McBeth

Seems that the Labour party, once in government, found itself in a similar situation. Don't know who all the various parties are but Sue Gray was definitely one of them and she clearly lost the battle. She can't even complain she was "stabbed in the back" because it was all done very openly and with support from the press, led, it would seem by someone called Morgan.

There's always a Morgan. Or a Dominic. Or a Tom. Usually unelected. Think they're cleverer than everyone else. Think they're the ones in control.

Leadership

Here's a piece of advice for Mr McSweeney. You're not as powerful as you think you are. He and his team appear to have "briefed" to the newspapers that the problems Labour have been having are all down to Sue not being on top of "the grid". Meaning, she should have sorted out what messages needed to go out when, thus ensuring our attention wasn't diverted to Taylor Swift tickets and free clothes.

This is utter nonsense.

Back to my own experience with communication, it's not about messaging at all. It starts with clear, consistent, believable, persuasive, sensible leadership. You have to actually do things first, then talk about them. Morgan & Co can do what they like to try and spin a message but without real leadership and a strong story to tell, the next 100 days are likely to be as chaotic as the first.

(Speaking of which, how can you have an "Investment summit" where you invite all the great and good from industry when you still haven't told them what your tax & spending plans are going to be? Shouldn't we have had the budget first?)

Teamwork

Going back to that time when I had a proper job (and a big organisation paid me a salary EVERY MONTH! - lovely!), I remember coming home on day one rather horror struck.

"It's going to be awful" I declared to my husband.

"Why?"

"I've got five teams and thirty people to look after!" I explained.

In previous roles, I'd always been a bit of a "sole trader". When I was a management consultant I was utterly hopeless at scaling anything and selling in a team. My approach would be to look at the client's problem, explain that it wasn't that bad really and set about helping them to fix things. Myself.

Someone else I know would look at exactly the same problem, explain what an utter disaster it was and describe how a team of 35 consultants working day and night for the next three years might be able to avert armageddon. (He got promoted very quickly, I did not).

Anyway, as a result, the thought of being in any way responsible for thirty other people was terrifying. How could I do my job with them getting in the way?

"You're an idiot" my husband explained.

"Those people are there to make you look good" (or something along those lines) "get them all working in the same direction and you'll look like a superstar."

I'm not sure I'm superstar material but he was right about one thing. Those five teams and thirty people, all now sitting quite close together, really did make an impact.

I just listened to When it Hits the Fan podcast where two PR gurus discuss crisis management, spin and analyse the week's biggest PR disasters. Their conclusion about the Downing Street goings on is that the people there are just not operating as one team. And if that's the case, replacing Sue with Morgan or Pat or whoever is not going to solve the problem. We'll see.

When the Sh%t Hits the Fan

Talking of which, did you see that Laura Kuenssberg had to pull her interview with Boris Johnson because she'd inadvertently sent him the questions in advance. She fessed up very quickly, which I have to say is definitely the best policy.

I once sent an email to the Managing Partner of a major US law firm, let's call them Digby, Drabble & Jones. My email went along the lines:

Here is the CV of Louise Smith, an exceptional corporate lawyer who has always wanted to work for Cushly, Pashley & Frank. I realised the minute I'd hit send. There is NO recall button on Outlook. All you can do is ... well, there's nothing you can do actually.

Except pick up the phone, admit the error, say sorry and hope for forgiveness and understanding. Given everyone's human, that usually comes.

I've been watching Season 1 of Industry where one of the main characters gets herself into all sorts of trouble when she makes a mistake which leads to a huge financial loss. Instead of fessing up immediately and asking for advice from her boss, she tries to cover it up. This being a TV series rather than real life means it all goes OK in the end but my strong advice for anyone out there just starting out in the world of work, is this. Always consult; always ask advice; never cover up.

Remember:

It's not the crime, it's the coverup.

Work's Looking Up

We're not there yet. Too early to declare victory but last week was a good one, mainly because a few very loyal and very lovely clients invited some women for interview and there is a good change that one or two or even three of them might end up with a job offer.

Here's what I've learnt. Keep it simple. Do what it says on the tin. Keep the faith. Don't be tempted to deviate when the going gets tough. Focus on the 20% of your clients who will regularly deliver 80% of your business. And keep a sense of humour. It's only work after all!

Speaking of which, this is Bermuda. I'm not there.

This is Bruges.

I'm not there either. But Tanja is. Not at all bitter.

The Cultural Bit

If you're been paying attention you'll know some of this already but for the record:

I'm Watching: Season 1 of Industry. On my own. I gave it a miss when it first came out, thinking it would be stupid and soapy and cliche-ridden and hopelessly naive/inaccurate about life in the city. But when I noticed they're on to Season 3 and it was recommended in the FT I was persuaded to have a look. Goodness me there's a lot of sex. And I'm pretty sure big banks & city firms use drug testing which, if true, would see most of the characters sacked on day 5. However, it's very well written, the acting is fabulous, brilliantly directed (episode one by Lena Dunham) and above all it's entertaining. Just don't watch with your teenage/adult children.

I'm listening to: When it Hits the Fan. David Yelland (former editor of the Sun) and Simon Lewis (former comms director for the Queen and Downing Street) give an insider's view on how various PR disasters are being handled/mishandled.

I'm reading: Really Good Actually, by Monica Heisey. My daughter recommended it. It's funny and an easy read, which is handy because...

I'm icing: My ankle. To add insult to injury not only am I stuck in London because of the hurricane I'm also now stuck in the house because I missed a stair yesterday and have sprained my ankle.

Back to it ... Have a good week people.