Leaving a Powerful Legacy

The last couple of weeks have really brought forth the importance and power of one’s legacy and the impact it can have on others. They involved the passing and honoring of three people who have impacted my life.

Robbie Robertson

Two of them were musical influences whose lives were celebrated by concerts in their honor. One was a major production dedicated to the life of Robbie Robertson, the creative driver of The Band, and the other were various tributes to Phil Lesh, the bass player of the Grateful Dead who died on October 25th at 84.

One of Robbie Robertson’s best friends was famed director Martin Scorcese, who directed The Band’s final concert in 1976, and was released as a film called The Last Waltz. It’s considered one of the great concert films of all time. Robbie Robertson passed away in 2023, and Scorcese organized a tribute to Robertson via a star-studded concert in Los Angeles that Heather and I attended on October 17th. It lasted 4.5 hours and was extraordinary. Some artists that played were Van Morrison, Eric Clapton, Trey Anastasio, Bob Weir, Warren Haynes, Mike Campbell, Benmont Tench, Taj Mahal, Daniel Lanois, and many others. What a way to honor a person’s life and what an incredible legacy Robbie Robertson left behind with his body of work and the number of people it influenced.

Here are some photos from that amazing concert.

Phil Lesh

After learning of Phil Lesh’s passing, Heather mentioned that JRAD, one of the most innovative and popular Grateful Dead oriented bands was playing in LA and that perhaps we should go to honor his life. I had forgotten they were playing and loved her suggestion. I went online and purchased tickets for the show which was taking place the following night.

A few years previous at the same venue we saw JRAD and prior to the show we did some tailgating. Parked next to us were a group of guys, two of whom were brothers. We got to talking to them and one of them was particularly interesting and rather fascinating. He was a professor at a college in the area and he had a really great personality. He kept using the word “annihilated” so from that point forward we would refer to him as the Annihilated Guy.

Fast forward to the recent show and Heather and I were wondering if we might run into him again. Well, the world works in mysterious ways. There was a very long line to get into the venue and because of my back it can hurt to stand for a long period of time so we sat on a bench near the entrance to wait for the line to dissipate. We were also near the VIP entrance which had a much shorter line. I asked Heather to see if they would let us in because of my back issue as that line came to an end. It turns out that given where our seats were we could have gotten in anyways. As we got into the line and I took my phone out to have the ticket scanned, Heather looked back and saw these two rather tall guys coming down the stairs and approaching the VIP entrance behind us. We hear one of them tell the ticket collector that he’s a little off kilter and it’s pretty obvious he’s been having a lot of fun. The ticket taker asks if he’s been doing some pre-partying and he basically says “Oh yes.” Heather turns to me and she says, I think that’s him, the Annihilated Guy. I turn around and he definitely bears a resemblance. Heather has to know if it’s really him so she asks if he’s a college professor at a certain school and he replies quietly to the effect of “Shh, I am but at a different school.” She then says “You may not remember us but we met you in the parking lot of a previous JRAD show a few years ago.” He replies, “Oh yeah baby I sure do remember you.” We both marveled at us running into each other and he said that Phil brought us together and as we went to our seats he said “I love you guys” and “Have fun baby.” What a classic! We got to see the Annihilated Guy one more time. It made going to the show so worth it. Thank you Phil for reuniting us.

And speaking of leaving a powerful legacy this is what Bob Weir said about how he now views Grateful Dead music:

His mind is on the next tour, but it’s also on how his music will be remembered and kept alive by people that haven’t been born yet. “With the Grateful Dead, if it’s done right, there’s a chance they may be a part of the conversation in two to three hundred years. So that’s my consideration when I have to make decisions — what to do with a melody or a rhythm, or what to do on the business side. What’s this going to look like then?”

Roneet

I mentioned there were three people that inspired me to write this post. The third one was by far the most personal, and impactful. That was my wife Roneet whose passing took place six years ago last week. She was a force of nature who lit up a room from the moment she entered it and could make you feel like you were the most important person in the world when she was talking to you. She was always amazed how often strangers would share things with her that she thought were pretty private but she had a way to make people feel immediately at ease.

Roneet loved her parents and she embodied the commandment to honor one’s mother and father. She would do anything for them and she did. There was never any question about her love and devotion to them as well as to her kids, closest friends, and myself.? I was speaking with someone recently who also lost his wife and he asked me if what he was experiencing was something to which I could relate. And that was the things that his wife did that drove him crazy are what he misses most about her. I told him that I definitely could! It’s those idiosyncrasies that make us unique and while some of them may annoy or perplex us, they can also make us appreciate the person more.

In Judaism there are 613 mitzvot, which are essentially deeds asked of us to carry out or avoid to honor God and how he wants his greatest creation, humans, and particularly Jews, to behave. All people are obligated to follow the Seven Noahide Laws, but Jews have the added responsibility of adhering to 613! Some of the mitzvot make sense while others are quite perplexing. And while intellectually we can question whether they are logical, they exist because it’s what God requires of us to be in a relationship with him. It’s very similar to a marriage. We may not understand these perplexing traits, and they may even annoy us or drive us a little crazy, but this is the person we have entered into a relationship with and this is what he or she needs from his or her partner. Just accept them and go with the flow to the best you can.

For many years I would fight back about Roneet’s fanatical organization and almost OCD- type behavior when it came to cleaning and triple checking things thinking it could go overboard. On the other hand, I also liked to have fun with it by teasing her about some of these compulsions. One of her best friends would do this as well. Roneet would always have shoes lined up perfectly when they were close to the entrance of the house. When her friend would come over she would purposely move one of the shoes so they were no longer perfectly aligned. Roneet, to her credit, was a good sport about it, knew who she was and that she wasn’t going to change, and just laughed at what her friend did and would ultimately put them back in place.

Now that she has gone I really appreciate how well organized and what a tight ship she ran now that more of these responsibilities have fallen on me. And with the construction of the tennis court, pool, and other areas to socialize, Heather and I have been entertaining so much more regularly which requires a lot of work, so I have an even deeper appreciation for such obsessive qualities. Heather and I do our best, especially Heather, to keep the aura of love, togetherness, beauty, and taste emanating through our home that Roneet helped foster. She taught me a lot about how to bring people together and, when combined with Heather’s extraordinary skills in creating beautiful events, I think we have done an admirable job in honoring her legacy in this realm.

Returning to Judaism, there is another important concept which is called chesed, or loving kindness. It was embodied by Abraham. Hospitality is a big part of this because people imbued with this attribute want to make others feel welcomed and loved, not only as individuals, but in community as well by bringing them together. Roneet was a master connector and knew how to create events that had a feeling of great warmth and togetherness. She was very thoughtful and intentional about achieving this when hosting people. With the creation of The TenniSphere, Heather and I have tried to carry on her legacy and build upon it. As I have written about before, we host live ball sessions twice a week that typically involve 8 to 10 people for two hours of play on the court and then most of the people stay afterwards for food and drinks to socialize. It is so satisfying to see people enjoy playing on the court and then to carry these warm feelings off of it that has the prospect of forming friendships that can continue to grow over many years.

Last Wednesday we hosted one of the live ball sessions that took place during what turned out to be the final game of the world series in which the Dodgers won in a great come from behind victory over the Yankees in New York. One of the tennis players is a fanatical Dodgers fan so it was really fun and entertaining to see how excited (and nervous during the game) he got when the Dodgers pulled it out and won the World Series.

And while Roneet was not a sports fan there is an interesting tie in to her. The World Series MVP was Freddie Freeman who, it turns out, went to the same high school as Roneet. From his interviews it is abundantly clear how much he loves and loved his parents. His mom passed away from melanoma when he was 10. I can somewhat relate to this as I lost my dad to melanoma but I was 33 when this happened so I had him for much longer. To honor her memory and to raise awareness for protecting oneself from the sun, he always wears long sleeves to cover his arms no matter how hot the temperature is. This is something he never deviates from because it’s so important for him to honor his mom and the cause.

After Freddie Freeman hit a walk off grand slam in the first game (the only one in World Series history), he was interviewed and instantly gave credit to his father for all of the time he took to pitch to him and help improve his game while growing up. He said there is no chance he would be in the position he is in today without his father’s incredible love and dedication. And when Freeman homered in the next three games, he set a World Series record of having homered in six straight World Series games (four in this series and two in the 2021 World Series that he last played in) and, as a result, was selected the MVP of the series, he once again dedicated the trophy and accomplishment to his dad and to the support of his teammates. There would be no World Series MVP without the love and dedication of his father. He will always honor him and cherish their relationship,

In another relatable experience, Freddie Freeman’s son has had some very challenging medical issues which have parallels to our son Jacob. When Jacob was two (1995) he had a rare reaction to the chickenpox and suffered a massive stroke. It was touch and go as to whether he would make it but thankfully he pulled through and is now 31 and a fighter with a great attitude. He has been an inspiration to all who have gotten to know him. Similar to Freddie Freeman’s dad, Roneet gave everything she had to help Jacob in his recovery, medical care, educational needs, and to literally driving him virtually every day for close to two years when the combination of seizures and changes to his medicine prevented him from driving. It was always Roneet, Jacob, and Jacob’s dog Harry driving to wherever he needed to go. No one was more devoted to her kids than Roneet was. She had very clear views about how to live life with honor and integrity and how to be a good friend and family member and she did her best to lead by example for Jacob and Ariella and to constantly reinforce what was important in life to them.

And while Roneet was taken from us far too soon I can say without question that through her acts of devotion and loving kindness to her parents, kids, husband, and friends she has left a powerful legacy that has touched so many of us and influenced the choices we have made and will continue to make going forward. Her smile and warmth continue to radiate through me and my goal is for Heather and I to honor her legacy by being loving and caring parents as well as a catalyst for bringing people together to foster friendship, warmth, and overall well being for those who enter the gravitational field of The TenniSphere.