Leaving Never Ever Land

The term ‘Never Ever’ represents an absolute conviction to avoid repeating a painful experience (i.e. the last drop of alcohol that worked its way back up through your throat as you lay there hugging the toilet bowl) or an unsubstantiated statement being spewed about someone’s potential (i.e. “You’ll never, ever go far!). In either case, the truth is not confined to the emotional fervor which drives the statement, but the motivation of the individual with whom the measure now resides. Whenever certain statements place a behavioral wrapping around a box of idealism and potential for the sole purpose of casting judgment, what remains is the degree to which one is willing to temper their self-confidence in order to accommodate an opinion. The standard social belief is that ‘not everyone is destined for greatness’, which by definition, means that the social goal is to make sure that the collective potential of 6 billion plus human beings has to be reduced and minimized, individual by individual, group by group and culture by culture so that the only ones who make it through the maze and the ones duly designated to be great. Their career paths don’t include a sharp left turn into Never Ever Land.

It has been often remarked and paraphrased that “Life is hard enough without the additional crap being thrown at me!” While this statement is far from an admission of failure, it is a recognition that given all the things that can happen to derail a confident belief system, the extra stuff are unnecessary obstacles on an already busy path. While many would argue that decompression of potential is critical to the competitive nature of individual advancement and the win/lose value proposition, consequently it lays the foundation for justifiable landmines to be rooted in the toxic culture of an organization. The verbal onslaughts, the miniscule assignments, the lack of development, the misuse of power, the negative feedback and the lack of support merely represent a few instances on a continuum of ‘focused potential suppression.’ It’s one thing to recognize that there is an assault on your potential taking place, it’s another thing to succumb to it just because it was said. It has been well documented throughout the archives of organizational lunacy that the human spirit hungers for a banquet of opportunities that are, more often than not, sought within the structure of an organization. At a time when labor shortages are the norm and organizational longevity is becoming a fleeting notion, leaders don’t have the luxury of playing for profit and suppressing potential.

Conversely, any act of ‘focused potential suppression’ can only be as effective as a person is willing to allow. When hearing the OPINION of someone who is, clearly, spewing a negative spin on your capability, at that point the decision is to believe or not to believe. What is the nature of the relationship with that person, what is their level of credibility in your life, what do they know about your nature and why do you care? According to a 2019 report by Guidant Financial, “a substantial 53 percent of business owners surveyed ranked their happiness at nine or above, showing a majority as happy in their role as a small business owner.” Coupled with the fact home-based businesses are growing by the millions, it suggests that the internal minimizing Never Ever Land suppression only serves to maximize the external ‘I will make it in my own land’ expression of personal belief, self-confidence and the willingness to find happiness elsewhere. Engaging the potential of your best organizational assets should not be a principle found in an alternate universe, but one employed as a fundamental retention strategy for sustaining a competitive advantage.