LEAVING

Most interviews are a waste of time because 99.4% of the time is spent trying to confirm whatever impression the interviewer formed in the first 10 seconds. — Laszlo Bock, senior VP of people operations at Google

I’ve often seen people reacting badly to a denied opportunity, it could be a promotion, a raise or a leadership of a high-profile project. Mea Culpa. As we discussed in the favouritism chapter, promotions or rewards are both relationship-driven and a reflection of how senior leadership is aligned with the company values. It is important to remember that perception is often thought of as reality. However it is equally important to remember that perception is not the reality. A good leader will know that. It may work in the short term however a decent period of scrutiny will make everyone see the difference. In my 20 years of experience in three different continents and countries I have come across very few managers who are trained to be effective organisational designers. We still chose people based on the 19th century questionnaire. I mean, by now everyone has perfected an answers to “tell me about…” questions.

When we want something to be true, we will spotlight the things to support it as Dan & Chip Heath, authors of the book Decisive, write. The recruiting manager is bound to do this. Same holds true for you. As Lasszlo Bock writes, most interviews are a waste of time because 99.4% of the time is spent trying to confirm whatever impression the interviewer formed in the first 10 seconds.

In case of an internal favourite candidate the odds are stacked against you. Many people often jump ship just because the salary offered is higher. The higher salary offer alone should not be the reason to leave the current organisation. A recent study by Gallup-Healthways shows that, life evaluation and emotional well-being rises with log income, but there is no further progress beyond an annual income of ~$75,000. So a single denied opportunity or little higher salary offer should never be the reason to leave. The rejection does not define you. It is a mirror which works both ways. This is what you could do with what you see from your side.

After action review

In 1981 the US Army developed a backward thinking model called as After-Action-Review which is widely adapted by businesses around the world. This is a very powerful tool to assess and analyse the difference between intent and reality. This should be done as soon as possible. You start by writing on a piece of paper what the intended outcome was, what you wanted to happen. The next stage is equally important what actually happened. You should write it in as much detail possible. The next step is to write what you learned from this experience and what will you do differently in future in a similar circumstance. The one thing which has benefited me the most is accepting the fact that human beings are emotionally driven, irrational, impulsive animals as Chris Voss writes in Never Split the Difference. So it is important to cross check your findings with a trusted friend or a colleague. Assessing yourself based on the opinion and perceptions of the trusted colleagues / superiors within the organisation should give you a very good idea of where you stand and the potential areas to improve.

During the "difficult" period of acceptance you can define how you want to plan the short term future. You can think about what your current role can offer you in terms of opportunity, influence and growth. Alternatively, if it is possible to move sideways. It will help you to create a better profile. Make conscious effort to actively contribute in every project you work on and document it.

I’ve developed a simple model of when to start working on an exit plan. I call it a 4S model. The first is Season of your life. What is your current personal situation? Kids at school, elderly at home to take care of or any other difficult situation you are going through. This is the most important factor to consider before you make the decision to leave. The second, have you Stagnated? What is life without progress. Make sure you exhaust the avenues within your business to get out of the rut. Are you feeling Stuck? Have you gone through every step we discussed? After having gone through the above exercise, if you are neglected for a critical role and you are convinced that there are other forces at play, then do yourself a favour and devise an exit strategy. The final and the most critical is, are you being Shunned? If you have been honest and feel your opinion is not asked for or worse ignored, it is high time to leave. I strongly believe that if one does not get the growth opportunities one deserves then it is high time to look somewhere else. Life is too short.

BANG

The lightning does not strike at the same place twice. Or so is the saying. However if it does in your case be attentive to the following signs. You start to dread Mondays, your motivation is down, you often end up in a negative talk about the culture of the business or just plain bored. Seth Godin in his book Lynchpin writes that the top three reasons people leave their current job is - it is not challenging, there is no flexibility and stability. Based on my discussions with trusted and truly “lynchpin” colleagues I would also say that if you get the feeling that your opinion is not valued anymore it is high time to go.

However one should always leave with a BANG. This is an acronym I came up with so that it is easier to remember. No, you should not do a moon dance or anything.

It simply stands for :

Do not burn the Bridge : Put some time in the diary of your manager and book a room. This needs to be a face to face conversation. Jot down 3-5 highlights of your time in the business. Briefly explain why you want to leave and thank them for the opportunity.

Ask for a leaving checklist : Every company has a checklist when an employee is leaving. Make sure you populate and return all the property. Also do not forget to make your own checklist of your achievements and ask for a reference letter mentioning those.

Giving Notice : Make sure you find out about the notice period. Give written notice and ample time. Discuss with your manager when your colleagues and team should be aware that you are leaving.

Depart Gracefully : The world has now become a very small place. There is no point in making everyone else aware of why you are leaving. Connect with your colleagues, exchange contact details. Offer to train your replacement or create a hand-over document of critical projects/jobs. If there is an exit interview make sure to give thanks for the opportunity and show your gratitude. I would also recommend not to use exit interview for revealing your frustrations and disappointments. If those were not noticed while you were part of the organisation then the odds are slim they will be when you are leaving.

Closure

So what now? One of the best accidental decisions I made when I left German Aerospace Centre was to take a 3 week break. This often means you won’t get the pay for the period and that can seem daunting. However this little window of opportunity should be seen as an investment in self. Schedule the time to reflect on the time at your previous company. We often tend to think that with the new job everything will be better. Unfortunately though each business has its culture and sub-culture depending on the department you end up with. Some companies have discipline. And a very small subset have a culture of discipline. Hopefully you are going to end up in that subset. In this busy period of moving home and sorting out many other things the only way to prepare yourself is a short break in-between. It is tempting to write down or think about how all things went sour in your previous engagement. Avoid it. There are always some high points to accompany those lows. Concentrate on the best moments and write down what you have learnt. Then move to the things that could have gone better and what would you do differently. You are bound to have odd moments when you will forget all the lessons learnt and let your guard down. And that is okay. Remember to be kind to yourself. Combine your notes with the ABC navigation map in this book to prepare yourself for the new job. By now the wiser you already knows that this is just a map. And the map is not the territory.