Leaving The Door Open

B``H

When I was 20 years old, I was studying at the Yeshiva in Israel. I was made a dorm counselor for a rather rough bunch of teenage boys while I was there. One day, the school management informed me that a certain boy was going to be expelled for various reasons. I was also tasked with having the boy stay with me in my room, for fear of retaliation from the other students.

That evening, when he stayed in my room, I promised him that I would do my best to protect him until he was dismissed from school. The next morning after returning from breakfast, I opened one of my drawers and realized that the charity money that I had collected for my Rabbe’s charity fund was missing. I was filled with mixed feelings of anger and betrayal.

After my class with my Rebbe, I told him what had happened to the money. I voiced my concerns to him and discussed the quandary I was in: that on one hand, I couldn't just confront the boy in question, since he could deny it, and on the other hand, there was no one else who could have had access to my hidden charity money other than him. What should I do?

My Rebbe, Rabbi Mordechai Friedlander ZTL said to me, “I know this boy has been accused of doing some pretty terrible things. However, something tells me that he would not go so far as to steal charity money. Perhaps, just mention it to him in passing that the money in the drawer was for charity and he might come around.” 

A few minutes later, the boy and I happened to cross paths in the schoolyard, in between the school building and the dormitory.

I smiled at him and said, “Just wanted you to know that the money in the drawer was not mine, it was charity money that I had collected for the Rabbe's fund for needy families.'’

I did not wait for a response, since I was not interested in getting into any type of confrontation.

A few hours later, I opened my drawer and there was the charity money, along with a note of an apology from him. 

In this week’s Parsha, Parshas Korach, Moshe is told that Dasan and Aviram had joined Korach's coalition against him. Moshe Rabenenu then sent messengers to request a face-to-face with Dasan and Aviram to meet with him. 

The Lubavitch Rebbe asked a question to those two who were the same two people who had spoken against Moshe years ago. They were the reason that Moshe was forced to run away from Egypt. Those two people were always around every quarrel that was against Moshe in the desert. How come Moshe was still trying to meet with them to work things out?

If they showed their true colors, wouldn’t meet with them just be a waste of time and energy?

The Rebbe gave an amazing answer. “When Moshe approached Pharaoh the first time, he asked him for permission to lead the Jews out of Egypt.

Pharaoh refused and made them work for the Jewish people even harder, forcing them to provide their own raw materials as well as actually making the bricks to use for building.

Dasan and Aviram, who were Egyptian Kapos, stood up for the people and complained to Pharaoh that this would be too much for the Jewish people to handle.”

The Midrash explains that it is this deed that explains that the Red Sea split a second time for Dasan and Aviram, since they did not leave Egypt with the Jewish nation. They came with Pharaoh and the Egyptian military, who chased the Jews into the Red Sea.

The Rebbe explained that Moshe, as both the physical and spiritual leader of the Jewish nation, was not ready to give up on the two men. Perhaps, he could get them to connect with him even after so much bad history between them. Unfortunately, in this case, it did not. However, Moshe made sure to leave the door open until the very end. 

A leader’s height is judged not on how high of a position he holds, but on how low he is willing to look for the light in each and every one of his people.

In our lives, we should work hard on never allowing past negative behaviors to formulate the full picture of who someone is. Make sure to allow a person who has failed countless times in the past, the opportunity to start fresh again. You may be just as surprised as I was when I found the charity money placed back in my drawer. 

Have a wonderful Shabbos.

Yitzchok Friedman