Why Are We Divorcing? A Deep Dive into the Psychology of Marital Failure

It is estimated that divorces have doubled in the last two decades in India. The rate of divorce in urban cities like Delhi, Mumbai, and Bengaluru has dramatically risen in recent years. But why?

This month, we'll explore the complex psychology behind marital failure, examining common pitfalls and offering insights for building stronger relationships.

Open communication is crucial in any relationship. Ignoring uncomfortable issues allows resentment to build, ultimately leading to a breakdown in communication and potentially divorce.?

Every marriage is unique. Every situation is unique. That said, there are some common themes and patterns in most of the divorces or marital issues. So, understanding them is a good place to begin.

Communication Breakdown

Ineffective communication is a major culprit. Many find it difficult to express needs, listen actively, and resolve conflicts. This can create a breeding ground for resentment.

Shifting Priorities

As life progresses, priorities and goals can evolve. If couples fail to adapt and grow together, they may find themselves drifting apart.

Lack of Intimacy

Physical and emotional intimacy are essential for a healthy marriage. Neglecting these aspects can leave partners feeling disconnected and unfulfilled.

Unrealistic Expectations

Entering marriage with unrealistic expectations sets the stage for disappointment. Understanding that relationships require work and compromise is key. So, is putting in the work that is required.

External Pressures

Financial stress, family issues, and work demands can strain even the strongest marriages. Learning to navigate these challenges together is crucial.

These are some common issues observed in struggling marriages. While conflicts often lead to divorce, it's important to recognize that not all issues can be resolved. In some cases, this can even be a positive outcome.

Divorce is a signal that our social norms are changing. Indian society has always had a stigma around divorce which meant that people in unhappy marriages continued to stay together. As the stigma surrounding divorce reduces, more individuals are choosing to end marriages that are no longer fulfilling. Sometimes partners simply aren't on the same page and it's not worth forcing a relationship that isn't working.

Women's empowerment also contributes to increased divorce rates. With education, employment and exposure, women today are less likely to tolerate unsatisfactory or abusive marriages. The urban divorce rates are particularly higher and the faster pace of life in the cities plays a big role in this. City life often comes with long working hours, high levels of stress, increased expectations and less quality family time. All these can put a strain on relationships. Better accessibility and awareness of legal rights and remedies have also made it easier to seek divorce.?

A fundamental lack of understanding about marriage is a significant contributor to divorce. Marriage isn't a competition or a race, nor is it about making one person's life easier at the expense of the other. Instead, it is a partnership grounded in mutual respect, support, and shared growth. It is a journey where both partners collaborate toward common goals while embracing their differences. Rather than viewing marriage as a battleground for power, it should be seen as a collaborative effort, where open communication and empathy foster a deeper connection.

Strengthen your relationship with these simple DIY tips:

1.????? Communication Check-In:

Schedule uninterrupted time to discuss your needs, concerns, and goals as a couple. Practice active listening and avoid accusatory language.

2.????? Reconnect Ritual:

Plan a regular date night or activity you both enjoy. Rekindle the spark by focusing on shared interests and quality time together.

3.????? Appreciation Exercise:

Write down three things you appreciate about your partner each day. Share your lists and discuss what makes your relationship special.

In this episode, we explore the concept of security in relationships. Join the conversation as we discuss factors that contribute to feeling secure and offer tips for building a strong foundation of trust and communication.