Learning to Stay in the Struggle

When asked to formally speak about my first solo attempt to swim across the English Channel, a quote immediately came to mind:

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“I have not failed 10,000 times.??I’ve successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work.” -Thomas Edison

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In Channel Swimming there is a phrase, “delayed success” that many swimmers will come to know.??However, before I get to that, I’m going to take you back to 17th July 2019.

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It was beautiful summer day. Few clouds appeared across the powder blue sky.??I distinctly remember that as night began to fall, a large full moon ascended above the horizon.??In fact, planet earth was preparing to celebrate the 50th?anniversary of Neil Armstrong walking on the moon.?It seemed especially apt that I was going to have that illuminated white ball lighting my way through the night as I swam from England to France.??It felt auspicious, a good omen for what I was about to embark on.

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Months of training and planning led up to this day.??I felt ready, strong, although admittedly nervous.??I knew I could do this though and so did many others.??All I had to do was ensure my own personal landing on the shores of France.??However, 13 ? hours into my swim, after swimming through an entire night guided only by the moon and a single spot light from the boat that followed me in the water; after repeatedly swimming unknowingly into bunches of seaweed only to stop, startled and unsure of what I was touching; after finally recovering from dark mental places and gaining momentum as the sun ascended higher into the sky; after swimming so far I could see the coastline of France right there in front of me; after 13 ? hours my swim was aborted.

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Now you may ask, “why?”??

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Truthfully, there are as many reasons why a swim is aborted as there are swimmers each year.??There are a multitude of variables beyond our control that coincide with the variables that we can control.??Nonetheless, it was a brutal, bitter pill for me to swallow.?I wanted to hide away in a seaside cave and never speak of it again.??But instead, it was all anyone ever asked about for weeks to come.?With each reply, another rusted nail pierced into the center of my heart.

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Approximately 60% of solo swimmers are successful each year.?To give a sense of perspective, that means around 75 people on planet earth, give or take, will make it from England to France.?Swimmers from all around the world come to Dover attempting their own membership into this highly exclusive club.??

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For the 40% who come away empty handed, we come to learn the phrase, “delayed success.”??In this small community of “channel swimmers” no one speaks of failure.??The first time I referred to my “failed attempt,” I was swiftly corrected.??Still, it certainly felt like a failure to me.

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Of the 40%, an even smaller percentage will actually be able to claim “delayed success” because in order to do so, it means that you will have to do the whole thing all over again.?I don’t mean just the swim. I mean the long hours of training, the big sacrifices in other areas of your life, the time, energy, and money.??You will have to go through that again with no guarantee of success.?But that’s the only route to into the club of elite swimmers.

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I used to beat myself up over that swim.?I would repeatedly ask myself what went wrong. I analysed my swim chart, read over the observer’s notes, questioned every decision made before, during and after my swim. There was no comfort found in this or logical answers to my questions.??I drove myself mad until I determined to do it all again.?If I wanted to reassure myself that it was a delayed success, then I needed to finish the job.

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On 5 July 2022, in 16 hours and 18 minutes I finally reached the rocky coastline of Cap Gris Nez, France.?To described the journey of doing it all again is something that warrants its own book.??However, there are three key lessons that came out of it for me.?These are lessons about how to navigate the dark valleys we find ourselves in an attempt to scale any tall mountain to the light.

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1.?????It’s not as important to accept what went wrong as it is to accept that this is the journey. This is your journey.

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Knowing what went wrong isn’t enough. Understanding its place in the arc of my life’s journey was when I was able to tap into greater learning and enact lasting change.

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2.?????Success is not so much about attaining the goal although that’s important, too.? True success is the ability to stick out the struggle itself.

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Too often we only focus on the outcome instead of valuing the hurdles we overcome to reach our goal to begin with.?Or we exit a situation prematurely without increasing our knowledge and endurance and therefore, success.

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3.?????It is the moment of struggle that we give birth to our own greatness. If there is no struggle, there is no success story.

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Do not shortcut it, avoid it, or turn away.?The only way to meet with success is through the struggle itself.??So if you are someone wrestling with whether or not to quit, please be patient and kind to yourself. When you’re in the midst of it, if it's important to you, then stay the course.??You will arrive, I assure you.?