Learning To Say No | 学会说不
Janine Jakob 安丽彦
High Performance for Executives and Multicultural Teams APAC-West, Training & Consulting??AI, Leadership, Mental Fitness | International Speaker | Podcaster
Warren Buffet once said, "The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything." 沃伦·巴菲特曾说，“成功的人与真正成功的人的区别在于，正直成功的人对大部分事情都说不。”
What does this mean? How can saying NO make us more successful? 这是什么意思？为什么说不会让我们变得如此成功？
Let's break it down. 我们把它分点理解。
Saying no to certain things gives me the opportunity to say yes to the right things. Think about it, if you say yes to everyone, you won't have time to say yes when something you want comes your way. Instead, you'll be stuck doing things you don't want to do with the people you don't even like. 对一些事情说不能让我把机会留给重要的事情。想一想，如果你对什么事情都答应，你就不会有时间分配给你真正想要的东西。你反而会把时间浪费在你不想做的事情和不喜欢的人身上。
Saying no increases confidence and self-esteem. When we say no to what we don't want, we are being assertive and we feel in control of our lives. This, in turn, helps boost our confidence and self-esteem. 能够说不会提高你的自信心和自尊心。当我们对不想要的事情说不，我们表现出坚定自信，能够主宰自己的生活。这个能大大提高我们的自信和自尊。
Saying no demonstrates your credibility. Saying no to a person when our values don't align shows our credibility and authenticity. It shows that we are a disciplined person who knows enough about what we want and what we do to say no to someone whom we think is not good for us. 说不能展现你的可信性。当我们的价值观与他人不符时能够说不，会展现我们的可信和真实感。它代表我们有自律性，知道自己想要的东西并且当认为他人与自己不适合时能够说不。
This does not mean you have to say NO to every single person. We should be helpful and compassionate, we should say yes and help people, but it is equally as important that we say YES to what we want. 当然这不意味着你要对每一个人都说不。我们应该乐于助人和具有同理心，但是能够对自己想要的事情说Yes也同等重要。
In fact, let me end this article with this quote by Paul Coelho: 让我用保罗·科埃略的名言总结这篇文章：
"When you say yes to others, make sure you're not saying no to yourself."
“当我们答应别人的需求时，要确保我们没有对自己的需求说不。”
Book recommendations if you want to learn more about saying no 如果你想更多了解如何说不，我们推荐以下书籍：
- The Power of a Positive No by William Ury
- Learning To Say No: Establishing Healthy Boundaries by Carla Willis Brandon
- F*** No! by Sarah Knight
More of a visual learner? I gotcha! Here are a few incredible videos on YouTube you can watch to learn how to say no: 你是一位视觉型学者？没问题！以下是一些很棒的网上视频来教你如何说不：
- The Art of Saying No: Kenny Ngyuen at TEDxLSU
- STAND UP FOR YOURSELF! Learn To Say "NO!" | Jordan Peterson Motivation
- How To Say No to People Without Feeling Guilty In 3 Simple Steps
Want to find out how to say no? 想要知道如何说不？
Join our FREE coaching experience on March 7 so that you can ask our coaches to help you figure out a way to say no that makes you appear both confident and compassionate at the same time! Scan the QR code to register today!
加入我们3月7日的免费教练体验，这样你就可以请我们的教练教你如何说不才能让你同时显得自信和富有同情心！赶快扫二维码注册吧！
