Learning Optimism

Hi there,

Well, we’re nearly done with 2021. So, as we look forward – and think about making our working lives better in 2022 – I thought a few words about optimism might come in handy.

At the core of optimism is a belief. Not just that things will be better in the future. It goes deeper than that. It’s a belief about the role we can play in building that future: that, even when times are tough, we can overcome whatever is in our path and succeed.

I’m definitely not a born optimist – I’m more like an ambi-mist; constantly switching mode between glass half-full and half-empty (and this has never been more true than in the last 21 months). So, I practice optimism to keep me on the right side of that glass.??The good news, for people like me, is that it IS a?skill you can practice and learn, rather than a fixed trait or a tendency.

Learned Optimism is a term coined by the founder of the Positive Psychology movement, Martin Seligman. He came to it having spent much of his career studying pessimism – and specifically Learned Helplessness. This describes how people give up trying to change their circumstance because they believe and, over time, learn that they are incapable of doing so.?

In contrast, Seligman found that it was possible to learn optimism – with a very basic shift to what I like to call the ‘Yes We Can’ mindset. Well before Obama’s infamous campaign, Bob the Builder used this strapline to show us all how it’s done. In each episode of his kid’s TV show there’s always some obstacle to overcome. By pulling his ‘Yes We Can’ slogan out of his back pocket, Bob empowers his team to get on with the task at hand without being deterred by whatever has stopped them in their tracks. Bob has learned that when faced with a challenge, he and his team have what it takes to overcome it.??Seligman draws on the work of Albert Ellis and cognitive behavioural therapy in his approach to helping people learn optimism.??Based on this work, there are a few steps that I practice to unleash my inner Bob the Builder…

1)?Allow the negative. This may seem counterintuitive. But optimism isn’t about denying that a negative event has occurred. In this way, I like to think of optimism as the much more realistic cousin of positivity. It acknowledges hope for the future but allows you to feel below par right now if that’s the reality. In fact, healthy optimists make time to process negative emotion and circumstance, in order to make room for a more positive outlook.

2) Then, notice your thoughts and beliefs. We are all predisposed to a negativity bias. In other words, when faced with a situation or experience, we’re programmed to notice what’s wrong with it before we see what’s right. Along with our response to fear, it’s a feature of our successful evolution. When we look out to the world, we are more likely to see the negative first so we can put up our defences if need be. So, that negative chatter in your mind can serve a purpose. But more often than not, it can get out of hand – so it’s important to notice this to allow yourself to keep it in check.

3) Challenge those thoughts and beliefs. After you’ve noticed the constant loop of negative self-talk swirling around your brain, the next step is to challenge it. ‘Was the mistake you made in the presentation really that bad?’; ‘Did forgetting to attach the spreadsheet really make a big difference to anybody’s life?’; ‘Doesn’t everyone trip up from time to time’?

4)?And once you’ve mastered the art of challenging the negative, it’s time to promote the more helpful thoughts. Think of it like this: Your negative self-talk has a residency, a lifelong membership in your mind. The more optimistic and helpful self-talk needs some dedicated attention to help it find the space it needs. You can do this in lots of ways... A moment of recognition for a job well done. A pat on the back for managing to clean out the crumbs from your cutlery drawer. Don’t worry; you won’t get carried away with delusions of grandeur. The negative chatter will be sure to keep you in check. But it will be a more equal environment – and a more optimistic one – if you allow the more encouraging dialogue to take centre stage every now and then.

The best approach is to go through these steps every time you are faced with a tricky situation. This past while, it’s been pretty relentless – and harder than ever to draw on those resources of optimism – so I’ve been practicing it daily.

Optimism is not a once-off tick the box exercise. Just like anything it life, you have to practice it to really feel the rewards.?

What do you do to build a ‘Yes We Can’ mindset – both for yourself and your team? I’d love to hear any thoughts you have in the comments below.?

Bye for now,

Erin

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