Learning as much from mistakes as from success

Some time ago, I shared an office with a colleague who told me that rugby referees, a sport I’m particularly fond of, invite their fellow referees to provide them with feedback at the end of each game: Five aspects of the game they believe the referee handled well, and five aspects they believe could be improved on for the next game.

The notion of continual reflection and inviting feedback has stayed with me ever since. I seek feedback from my peers often, but unlike the referees at the end of each game, I haven’t been quite so organized as to seek it after every leadership meeting I participate in.

I have, however, spent time recently reflecting on six mistakes I’ve made in my business life that I have learned from and rectified. It seems that I am in good company in these reflections, because Alex Blumberg, an American entrepreneur, radio journalist, former producer for public radio and television, and the co-founder and CEO of the podcast network Gimlet Media that I follow, has an entire presentation titled: “Your best selling points are the mistakes you’ve made.”

So in the spirit of we learn as much from our mistakes as from our successes, here are six of mine. I am of course interested in hearing if there are one or two that stand out for you that you’ve learned from and are willing to share.

Mistake #1: I tried to minimize the amount of sleep I needed for far too long. I don’t know if this was a macho thing, or trying to squeeze in more in a day than was possible, or even the arrogance of youth, but for a long time, my objective was to minimize the amount of sleep I got each night and use the extra awake hours to squeeze in a little more work and a lot more life. Instead of making me more productive and effective, it made me less, removing time to dream and for the mind to repack.

I ignored clear evidence that my body needed six to eight hours of sleep to remain healthy. Arianna Huffington, the co-founder and editor of The Huffington Post, has written a book on the subject called The Sleep Revolution – Transforming Your Life, One Night at a Time. Her thesis is that we are in the midst of a sleep deprivation crisis that has profound consequences on our health, job performance, relationships and happiness.

I concur. Currently, I sleep a minimum of six hours during the weekdays and seven on the weekends.

Mistake #2: I argued before I enquired. I credit this behavior to the result of growing up in a competitive world of five brothers, all raised by a father who loved an argument, and my need to be right, rather than seeking what is right. Regardless of why, it is a trait that doesn’t serve me well, and today, I try to understand before I seek to be understood. Am I perfect and do I get this right every time? Likely not. But it’s a work in progress and I hope that in the locker room scrum at the end of the night, the referees around me would put Enquiring before Arguing as an aspect of my game behavior that lives on the positive side of the ledger.

Mistake #3: I spent more time perfecting how to write an email than improving my conversations. This may be the result of typing and re-typing business letters for my father back in the early days of my career, or my rather all too rational mindset. Today, I am much more aware of the value of good conversation skills, in addition to good penmanship. Summed up best by Mark Twain: “Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.”

Mistake #4: I did not understand that effective meetings and decisions are at the core of successful businesses. For the longest time, I thought we held meetings to exchange information. Currently, I view meetings as a place where decisions are made, and direction is set.

Mistake #5: I took too long before seriously trying to understand how the global energy industry works. Despite working in this field pretty much all of my life, I believe I would have benefitted from studying all the pathways from primary energy to useful energy much earlier than I did. Also studying about price formation and the role of markets, governments and regulators, the national energy balance of imports, exports, self production and demand in the countries I worked in would all have been beneficial much earlier in my career. To the younger people I talk to about their careers, I advise learning more about the industry they are in, and the history of the company they are working for. Both of these learnings have served me well.

Mistake #6: I didn’t continually seek out a mentor. Earlier in my career, I was fortunate to have the support of three mentors at different times – Mark Lloyd, Mike Salamon and Sam Mosikili. From each of these gentlemen I learned an important lesson that has served my career well. Lloyd advised me to write a memo to myself every night, which I have faithfully done, and it has grown to 1500+ pages. Salamon suggested I “understand the business of business” and “take decisions.” Mosikili councilled me to “go to Harvard and become aware of my blind spots.” I continue to be grateful for the advice and the encouragement they provided.

Mentors are not just for when we are at the outset of our careers. Their value grows with the responsibilities of our jobs. Today, I continue to frequently seek the counsel of several advisors and I am grateful for the advice I’ve received from so many, so willingly.