Learning to love networking

I remember realising that if I was going to run my own business I would need to go to networking events. My heart sank - I've been told that I hide it well, but I am very much an introvert. The idea of walking into a room full of strangers and having to conjure up conversation from thin air was not appealing in the slightest, in fact just the thought of it was draining.

And yet within a few months, I started to enjoy and look forward to it. Now, I consciously try and plan one event in each week because I get so much from getting out and meeting people. So if you're in the place I was and want to feel more confident, here are the things that made life easier for me.

Choose the right events

I tried lots of different events in the early days and quickly settled on the ones that suited me; where I could start to establish proper relationships over a period of time. I'd like to think I'm professional without being stuffy, so I looked for events that fit my personality. I wanted more structure than just a chat over coffee, but I didn't want to be feeling self conscious if I wasn't suited and booted. Once I'd tried them, I made decisions about the ones I would invest my time and energy into - I'm now at the point that I have three groups that I try to get to regularly.

Don't try to sell

If you’re putting pressure on yourself to find business when you are networking then it creates a temptation to try and shoehorn your product or service into every conversation you have. That will make both you and other people feel uncomfortable; nobody likes the smell of desperation.

Instead of talking about yourself, ask about someone else. Be genuine and be you. The more you show interest in other people and their businesses the more likely it is they will get to know, like and trust you enough to want to buy from you. Besides that, the visibility you create can get you further than you might think; I know of someone who signed up a big corporate client after someone they chatted to passed on their details. So don’t rush conversations or consider them a waste of time just because the person you’re speaking to isn’t your ideal customer! 

Put yourself in other people’s shoes

When you feel anxious or apprehensive, the temptation is to direct your attention inwards rather than out. You assume everyone else is confident and happy to be there when in fact half of the room are probably feeling in a similar way you the way you are!

If you want to shift that feeling, one way to do it is to think about what you can to do make sure other people enjoy the event. Is there someone stood on their own looking nervous or reading a leaflet for the sake of something to do? They'd probably be really grateful for the chance to chat to you. And if all else fails, head for the coffee. People who are not yet in conversation will often be doing the same and it feels way more purposeful than standing in the middle of the room looking around. 

Stop stressing about your elevator pitch!

Time and time again clients who are new to networking talk about this as one of their biggest fears. They hate the idea of being in the spotlight telling everyone what they do. What they forget is that they probably answer this question several times a week without getting stumped. The reality is, no one is going to hear your pitch and immediately buy from you. All the pressure you're heaping on yourself is for nothing.

The main thing with your elevator pitch, as with networking in general, is that with practice it will evolve and start to come more naturally. You'll notice what makes people smile or nod and what they don't respond to. Besides which, if you're networking with people who write you off after 30 seconds because they don't think your elevator pitch was good enough, have you really chosen the right event?!