Learning like you mean it...

At 41 years young I've decided to go back to University.?Why??Well, "why not" is probably the more pertinent question, and the reason why I've decided to write some thoughts about it.?Because getting to the point where I'm at today, where I've just started my 12-month part time course, was an interesting process…

Over the last few years my appetite for learning has grown considerably.?I don’t yet have my finger on why, or if there was a cause, but I reached the point where I knew I wanted to invest much more time in learning than I had been.?I had also stumbled across a topic that fascinated me - people, and specifically people in the workplace. I couldn’t consume enough content on this, from books, articles, podcasts to events, short courses and any conversation I could grab with like-minded people.??

But it wasn't enough.?

I then decided to take myself out of the traditional world of employment and build my own company that was focussed purely on the topic that fascinates me (more on that to follow).?So I had the third "ingredient" to make something happen:

1 - I had the desire to learn

2 - I had the topic that I was passionate about

3 - I had the time

I even found the course that looked perfect - the Exec Diploma in Behavioural Science at WBS.?Yet still I stalled…?

The reason I'm writing this is an attempt to go back in time (approximately 3 months) and have a word with that version of me back in July.?Or more likely, to see if anyone else is feeling/thinking the same, and hopefully help them to think this through by reading about my experience.?

Fundamentally I think the reason I stalled is because I was afraid.?I was worried about 3 main things:

1. Would I be able to handle an academic environment when it's been 20 years since I last wrote an assessment??Could my brain focus on one thing for long enough to learn and apply that learning??
2. What about the people I'd be on the course with??Surely they'd be all highly talented people with a lot more relevant experience and knowledge than me.
3. What if I failed the course??Would I look back on this investment (and it's not cheap!) and regret the decision?

Once I'd written these reasons down, I realised that what I was feeling was completely natural.?I was pushing myself out of my comfort zone and experiencing all of the usual anxieties that come with that.?And this had been making me stall my decision, right up until the deadline for submissions.

So, I had a stern, John Travolta style talk in the mirror to myself moment, and signed up.

?And I'm so happy I did.?If you're thinking about doing this for yourself then please remember:

• You'll never regret learning something new.?That price is always worth paying for.?
• Be kind to yourself, you deserve this investment in you.
• It's highly likely that everyone else is in a very similar boat to yourself, so kindly escort your Imposter Syndrome somewhere else

"Every act of conscious learning requires the willingness to suffer an injury to one’s self-esteem. That is why young children before they are aware of their own self-importance, learn so easily.”?- Thomas Szasz