The "Easy Way" to Learn the Hard Lessons

"I failed." "I made a mistake." "I let the team down." "I dropped the ball." Despite all of those emphatic endorsements that suggest failure is the best teacher, how many of us are genuinely comfortable saying any or all of those very vulnerable statements and admissions? How about saying them out loud, publicly? Those of you who raised your hand are my heroes and in my visualization, you also likely wake up at 5:00 am daily, train for marathons, jump out of airplanes, and live the life we all aspire to but haven't quite made the behavior commitments of you superstars! Much love to you exceptions out there who thrive on embracing your gaps and missteps, but for the rest of us, the hard lessons that accompany the transparency of admitted weaknesses and faults in the business world can sometimes be debilitating. No matter how inspiring those podcasts, self-help books, or Ted Talks we listen to on our daily drive, at the end of the day, it's an awfully quiet ride home when we are faced with the fact we simply didn't measure up professionally.

This past weekend, I was thinking about the idea that the "hard lessons" often take the longest to reveal their benefit and can also take a toll on our personal sense of value and worth. How, then, do we maximize these prickly professional predicaments we find ourselves, translating them into positive experiences? What can we do to assert control and transform them from the vulnerability to the victory, in a reasonable amount of time?

Here are a few reflections and ideas I'd like to share, as someone who's had her fair share of professional "hard way" lessons and is very committed to decreasing the rebound time, while leveraging the new knowledge as a value add.

1. Acknowledge the vulnerability in a way that is transparent without being self-serving. It hurts, it's not fun to fail, it's scary to share our screw-ups. But the best way to do it is by acknowledging the external impact of what we did wrong or didn't do at all. Own it, expose it honestly, examine the impact, and explain how you'll overcome it.
2. Focus on being transformational in your rebound, versus transactional. "Fix" what you can, own it, and seek out developmental ways to be proactive in preventing the vulnerability in the future. Mentoring, coaching, training, professional development. Hit the "professional gym" and get "fit" for the future.
3. Navigate your own road to redemption. Your power is in YOU leading the road to redemption. Reflect, repair, renew, and re-introduce your next steps. That doesn't mean you don't have to ask for input from others, but ultimately, own the process.
4. Address your own humanity. You are human, you aren't a superhero (All the time, anyway. But don't worry - I still believe you can fly.) Your beauty is in your strengths and opportunities. Simply put, it's okay to be imperfect. Let yourself be. *Disclaimer - this means, when in an interview and they ask you, "What's your biggest weakness?" you will now have authentic answers to choose from and you will present the answer with integrity and enthusiasm. Because you're still the best candidate. Period.
5. Next Chapter: Success. You've communicated your opportunity for growth - don't let the story end there. Update your professional network with how you've rebounded, how you've adjusted, and why you are stronger and more prepared for success.

I am confident these steps will prepare you for the next hard lesson you are sure to encounter. Yes, hard lessons are ahead but don't worry, you CAN handle it and you WILL.