Learning How To Set Expectations For The Launch Point And Set The Table For Others To Join

As much as I love being the person behind the host’s microphone, probing and prodding with my list of questions, I wanted to use this week’s newsletter to highlight an opportunity I had recently to sit on the other side of the table. Let me introduce you to two fantastic leaders and thinkers – first, Matt Abrahams , the host of Stanford’s Think Fast Talk Smart, a podcast dedicated to improving our skill in the delicate art of how we talk with each other.?

Then there’s Lindsay McMahon , who heads the All Ears English podcast. Lindsay’s mission is to help move everyone who is studying English as a second language from fearful of the language, to fearless. Matt and Lindsay had me on their respective shows for a two-part episode, all about – you guessed it – the deliberate process of disrupting yourself.

The first part is on All Ears English, and the second part airs today on Think Fast Talk Smart. Of course, I won’t spoil all the little moments and big insights, but here are a couple of highlights as a preview of what we talked about.

I’m remembering a point in my talk with Matt, where we were breaking apart this tension within a leader, of wanting to encourage those disruptive ideas and foster the ideal of open dialogue… balanced against the need to push back, criticize constructively, and have one hand on the ship’s wheel. Here’s a story I shared on today’s episode of Think Fast Talk Smart, about a CEO that Disruption Advisors has been working with:

“So, new initiative, new team, lots of new neural pathways being built, and at the very beginning of the offsite, this leader said, ‘I just want to check in with everybody. How are you feeling?’”?

“And there was this amalgam of responses. ‘I'm thrilled. I'm enthusiastic! I'm terrified. I'm concerned.’ But by doing that, sharing his experience, what did the leader do? Well, from a neuroscience perspective, we know that when we start to share how we're feeling and being a little bit vulnerable, our brains start wiring with the other people so they're no longer foes. They become friends.”?

It’s not like linking together as friends (not foes) suddenly eliminated the feedback, the excitement, and the fears that everyone at that offsite held. “But as they were having those conversations, they were emotionally sitting on the same side of the table.?

Once you have everyone on the same side of the table, facing a problem together instead of facing each other in opposition, the S Curve model sets the expectations for what you can reasonably expect from your chemical messengers, like when you are at the launch point––the “starter-pistol” moment, when you start to feel the first twinge of pain in your calves, the dopamine starts dropping, and frustration sets in. Now, here’s a bit from my appearance on last week’s All Ears English podcast, about judging your personal perception of success compared to what the S Curve tells us about the launch point:

“You want to be able to trust yourself, that when you say you're going to do something, you're going to do it. Use this S curve, to say to yourself, you know what? It’s true that maybe this is not a good decision, but right now, I just don't have enough data, so I need to just stick with it a little bit longer. And yes, I am uncomfortable, but I had Seth Godin on the podcast a year or so ago, and he said to me, ‘Whitney, when you feel like an imposter, and you feel like you can't do it… GOOD! Because you're doing something new. And when you're doing something new, you feel alive.”

I certainly felt alive doing tackling this two-part episode across two wonderful podcasts with Matt and Lindsay. Thank you again to them for inviting me on, and I cannot recommend enough that everyone check out their shows and their insights.

After you take a listen to our two-part episode, ask yourself – where have I felt alive, really alive recently? Is that an S Curve I’ve been on consciously, or a launch point that has stalled? What will you do to get back on that road, and who’s on your team to help you tackle it?

P.S. Are you looking to both accelerate your growth, and invest in the people you care about? Our Smart Growth Certification program gives you the tools to start meaningful conversations about that growth with your employees, teams, coaching clients, and anyone else. Certified Smart Growth Advisors also have exclusive access to the S Curve Insight Tool - a diagnostic that provides powerful insights into an individual’s experience of growth.?

Register for an upcoming webinar and learn more about how the Smart Growth Certification can help you and your business grow!?