Learning how to be a kiwi again

When I came back to live New Zealand in 2019 after living overseas for 18 years, to say I experienced a culture shock was an understatement.

New Zealand had rapidly transformed from the vanilla country I left to a?rich blend of multicultural goodness.

My first thought was great, this is what I know, and this is going to be easy. However, like anywhere in the world, the undercurrents and nuances in New Zealand are entrenched and I realised I would need to quickly learn what makes kiwis tick and navigate an entirely new cultural maze.

Living overseas, my identity as a kiwi was prominent yet when I came back to my homeland, my identity was somewhat skewed, and the kiwis knew it! Growing up professionally in Europe and Asia meant I spoke a completely different business terminology and socially, my expectations were vastly different to my kiwi friends.

In Asia, when you make social plans, you might be late turning up, but you stick to them. In New Zealand, it’s perfectly acceptable to pull out of things at the last minute and, also change plans/timings. This was hard to navigate at first with frequent murmurings of how rude, is it me?

Professionally I simply didn’t speak the same language. Entering the job market in Wellington, it was difficult to translate my worldly experience to roles and?I was either too experienced, didn’t have enough ‘NZ experience’,?or just received blank stares. Cold calling does not work well in the NZ job market, and it is all about those referrals. And the amount of times I rewrote my CV!

The other major shock is the cost of living. You often hear people say, wow Singapore, Hong Kong and London are expensive. To those saying this, they have not experienced New Zealand and I would place NZ in the top 3 most expensive countries I have lived in!

It isn’t all bad and New Zealand is one of the most beautiful countries in the world, yes, it is true! Covid has meant I have been able to explore these beautiful shores and am constantly in awe of just how beautiful this country is!

Once you peel back the layers, New Zealand is also a place built on great communities with many kind people willing to help just about anyone out.

3 years on, I have slowly grown back into my kiwi self while maintaining my worldly shell (well at least I think I have!)

From my personal experience, here are some tips for those returning?to these shores:

It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen – ease yourself back into it. Time is a great friend and like moving to any new place, it will take some time to adjust.

Kiwis are suspicious by nature but kind – There is often that reluctance when you offer up that new idea however once onboard, kiwis will get behind you 100%, and then some.

Don’t talk about politics – Just before I left NZ, our political system had moved from FPP to MMP and it was all new and shiny and it was ok to talk about who you voted for, favourite politicians. These days, NZ politics has a different rhythm with a more discrete approach to what people are willing to share.

The tall poppy syndrome matters if you care – Yes, the TPS is alive and well in New Zealand but if you don’t care what people think of you, it really doesn’t matter.

Put yourself out there - New Zealand has great communities and?I have developed some fantastic friendships and networks through various fitness/book clubs, networking communities and volunteering. Putting yourself out there is part of the journey of re-establishing yourself and getting to grips with how it all works.

New Zealand is a village - before you decide to enter that heated debate on a social media page comments section, remember, 2-3 degrees of separation in New Zealand is real. Know your audience!

Don’t expect the same ‘international’ social life – When I first attended work drinks in NZ, I was astounded when everyone left at 6pm! In Asia, you only start heading out at 8pm! Family, hobbies and routine are important to kiwis, and once you get into the flow, life gets easier.