Learning from Rejections

Successes are cause for celebration but rejections are rarely shared or talked about. Venture capitalists turn down over 95% applicants before they choose to invest. Ivy schools reject over 90% of its applicants each year. Chances are, if you had not pursued the career, contest, or relationship, you wouldn’t have experienced rejection. But you wouldn’t have completely experienced life either. Learn to see rejection as proof that you’re brave enough to take on risks and to participate in the wide realm of experiences available on this planet. Feel empowered by what you have accomplished.

“You miss 100% of the shots you never take." Wayne Gretzky

Here is a quote attributed to Steve Maraboli. “As I look back to my life, I realize that every time I thought I was rejected by something good, I was actually re-directed to something better.” What a positive way to look at life! It is a perfect articulation of how life is less about what happens to you but more about how you react to it. I am sure all of us have had disappointments for being rejected in our life or careers and often thought about the could-have and would-have, but the way Maraboli describes allow us to have a whole new perspective. 

I have relocated many times since I came to the US over thirty years ago. With each move, we donated, recycled, and threw away many of our life accumulation. For no particular reason, I have always kept a stack of over 100 rejection letters when I first started looking for employment in the US after I completed my doctorate degree at MIT, including rejection letters from both Exxon and Mobil, the predecessors of ExxonMobil where I have been working for the past 15 years.

Long before those rejection letters, I experienced many setbacks with each could have been a life changing event. I did not get into college in the first try in 1977 after high school and had to work on a farm for another year before I was accepted to college the following year. I did not pass my graduate school exam after college and worked in a local government office for a year before I went to graduate school the following year. I was getting ready for a PhD program in Japan but the application was rejected the last minute before I was accepted by MIT the subsequent year and pursued my doctorate degree.

Such is my journey but I suppose many of you have had similar experience in life. It is the tortuous path of life that makes life interesting, meaningful and rewarding. I do not necessarily consider my life unique or different, but it has been very rewarding. Fighting through adversity and battles just put pages in our book of life journey. The realistic anticipation of rejection allows for greater foresight and forethought as we look ahead and brace ourselves for encounters with any hurdles that lie before us. Rejection doesn't necessarily mean you are not good enough. It could just means the other person failed to realize what you have to offer.

Every single one of us had to fight some battles to get from where we were to where we are. Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well.The key is focus and never give up as long as the pursuits are motivated by the right reasons — positive motivations like your dreams; your passions; the want to help people, your country, or provide a secure future your family — the burden of wanting to quit will quickly subside. 

There is no such a thing as a failure. There is either success or lessons learned. I am very thankful of the way my parents raised me to appreciate working hard and being positive. Always willing to learn. Be inspired and fueled by others' success but do not allow ourselves to get derailed or thrown off the path by bumps on the journey. Stay positive and stay focused. The best route to fulfillment in life is often the path of more resistance.

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