Learning from a low tide

I remember when Lehman Brothers fell in 2008.? I was working in one of those big glass and marble offices in London.? I sat in my pod and watched as serious-faced senior partners hurried into meeting rooms with frosted windows.?

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The phone rang, it was a good friend who worked in Mergers & Acquisitions.? ‘Meet me for coffee now’ he said.? Wide-eyed, and clutching an espresso that clearly was not his first, he declared dramatically ‘It's all over Emma, the world as we know it will never recover’.? By ‘the world’ I think he meant M&A, but he regularly worked 15-hour days so I guess it was his world.

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At the time I was fairly early into a career change away from tax consulting into leadership development.? I had talked (and lucked) my way into a ‘pinch yourself’ dream role, project managing a prestige global program, with participants from around the world, a supporting team of international thought-leaders, and a budget to die for.? I was deeply vested in it and cared about the participants and the work we were doing to position them to lead complex global accounts.

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It became very clear, very quickly that the program budget was to be slashed. I was gutted. It put at risk everything we had worked so hard towards. I railed against the short-sightedness of the decision when the program was an investment in long-term growth.

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The program sponsor, the then Global Head of Clients and Markets called me into his office.? He had a big title and a corner office to match. Unlike me, he had seen it all before.?

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He was a man who did not waste words.? ‘Emma’ he said in his steady baritone ‘the tide is going out. When the tide is going out there is no point standing on the beach cursing the sea.? You cannot stop the tide going out. It might surprise you to learn that even I cannot stop the tide going out.? The tide will come back in. ?Until then, let's do what we can’.

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I can only imagine he had more pressing issues to deal with at that moment in history.? My program, however important I thought it, was a small part of his responsibilities.? However, he took the time to offer me a reality check and some wisdom.? What I took from it was this:? Stop flapping about. Maintain perspective. Get clear on what is possible in this new world and do that with focus and tenacity.

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As the NZ economy and job market (in some sectors, not all) goes through...well let's call it a ‘tricky patch’...I recall those words and they bring the same sense of calm as they did then.? Plus a wry smile.? He was right of course.

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I do not share this story to deny the reality I am seeing daily in my client base, my network, my community, and in my own business.? It is a tough time for many.? I see people carrying the responsibility of leading their people through difficult changes. I see people who have lost jobs they loved, feel stuck in ones they don’t, or who are feeling insecure about their future. ?I see people, myself included, who are self-employed and are having work postponed or cancelled due to budget cuts.

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I can no longer claim, by any stretch, to be ‘busy’. ?My diary has spaces in it.? Big spaces.? This is new.? I love my work and I do not have as much of it as I would like.? It's an uncomfortable feeling.

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But I do have a perspective that I did not have back in 2008.? The tide goes out.? The tide comes back in.

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What I have learned from periods of upheaval in my career and life is that remaining focused and optimistic whilst looking reality square in the face takes some discipline and often needs a helping hand.?

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I went through a restructuring process 8 years ago which ended in a redundancy. It hurt. I was sad to leave an organisation that had felt like home for a long time. I worried about what next.? It also led directly to a new journey, doing the most fulfilling work of my life and forging a partnership with a colleague and friend that I would not trade for the world.

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Still, I didn't know that was all ahead of me when the restructuring pack hit my inbox.? When people talked to me then about silver-linings I nodded and smiled and outwardly agreed, whilst silently telling them to ‘sod-off’ in my head.? There is no sugar-coating the fact that redundancy is almost always a crappy, horrible experience to go through however well it is managed.? If you are living it at the moment I feel for you.? I don’t have any silver bullets to offer. ?But I can share what I have learned, and am still learning, from my own experience of disruption.

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I have learned (am learning!) to take these periods of enforced change as an opportunity to rethink and reset my aspirations for the future.? When work is flowing in the door it is easy to stay on the same path without questioning if it is the only, or best or the most interesting one for you.

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I am using this space to get clearer on what it is I want to do for the next 5-10 years:? What work is mine to do?? What work might it be time to let go of?? Where is the confluence of the passion I have, the skills/experience I bring and what the world of tomorrow needs?? These are living questions that I am making room for.? It feels foggy and uncomfortable at times, clear and energising at others.

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I am taking the opportunity to put in place some basics that I have neglected – finally building a website and getting a better logo than the one I bought for $150 from an AI logo generator!? I am loving the creativity involved and working with people who are asking me great questions.? Whilst coaching and training budgets are under challenge at the moment, I believe deeply in the work of adult development - for leaders and teams.? I believe it matters, that it’s needed, and that whilst AI will undoubtedly change the industry it will not render humans obsolete (more on that another time). I am choosing to invest in my business for the future.

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I am finally learning that journalling is the most important discipline I can have (after sleep, good nutrition, exercise and singing very loudly whilst alone in the car) to stay positive, free my mind and clarify my thinking. Despite my constant refrain to my coaching clients, I am a patchy journaller.? I am like a lapsed churchgoer who only prays when they are in trouble.? The more challenging life is the more vital journalling becomes for me.? ‘Morning pages’ are my friend right now.? And after pushing through the initial reluctance I am generally fizzing with ideas and optimism afterwards, or at least with a greater sense of peace.? If you are getting the night-time ‘mind monkeys’ I urge you to give journaling a go.? Please feel free to PM me if you would like some advice on getting started.

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Another upside is that I am treasuring the clients I have even more than I normally do. I like to think I always give 100% to my clients - though let's be honest we all have off days and I am no exception.? But half the clients get twice the love!? Now I have more time to reflect between coaching sessions on what they and their stakeholders need most and how I can be of greatest service.? I am valuing that extra reflection , and am committed to holding on to it even when the diary starts to fill again.

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I have learned that what brings me the most joy, energy, and optimism in tricky times is to connect with people and have real conversations.? My natural tendency used to be to either hunker down and hide, ?or to keep a positive, chirpy mask on.? I have learned that neither approach is particularly helpful – for me or those around me.? I am enjoying making time to reconnect with people that in the bustle of the past few years I have neglected, and forgotten that I missed.? In these uplifting conversations who knows what seeds are being sown for future ventures and adventures.?

Whilst connection is a priority for me, at times like this I have learned to be mindful of who I choose to connect with and the impact they have on me - and me on them. I have chosen to live in New Zealand.? I love the sense of belonging that living in a smaller country offers.? But one of the downsides is that negative sentiment seems to whip through this place at lightning speed. Doom is infectious. I am very conscious of not being a vector for that. And choosing to spend time with people who are realistically positive and who help me stay creative, bold, and looking forward. I hope I am doing the same for them.

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It took me a little while after being made redundant (what an awful phrase that is!) to be fully open about that experience.? Honestly, I carried a mild sense of shame....a sense that if I had been good enough it would not have happened, that it reflected badly on my competence and would limit my future opportunities.? I knew in my rational brain that was not the case, but still, the emotion lingered.

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That changed a couple of years later when I was sat with a potential client.? We were drinking coffee exploring whether I was the right coach for him.? In short, he was sussing me out! He had recently gone through a job loss.? I decided to share my experience – how it both challenged and grew me.? He exhaled and I could see him relax.? We ended up working together and it was a wonderful coaching partnership.? He shared that he chose to work with me because I had been honest and was in a position to understand what he was going through. I am so grateful to him. I no longer have any hesitation about talking about my experience when I believe it will be relevant and helpful to someone.

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There are other silver linings to this quieter time.? Less work travel means more time with my girls.? Aged 11 and 8 I know they will not always want to hang out with me as much as they do now.? And I am fitter and better-read than I have been for years! If that’s not a sound investment in my future I don't know what is.

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Most of all I am learning (again) that periods of change are lessons in humility.? Clients – individuals or teams - tend to come to me when they going through some kind of change, or when they wish to change but find themselves stuck in an old way of being.? I have learned that going through my own period of disruption increases my capacity for empathy and compassion and enriches my ability to help my clients navigate their own.

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All this is to say that, whilst there is certainly plenty of uncertainty, I am largely directing my time and energy to what I can influence – my health, my mindset, my relationships and to a deepening sense of purpose and clarity around the work I do.? So I sleep easy most nights (though not every night truth be told).?

If you happen to be going through your own period of instability and insecurity, whatever that looks like, I wish the same peace of mind for you. I am very aware that my being able to seek and find silver linings is a privilege not available to everyone. If any of the above resonates with you I truly hope that you are in a position to access the inner and outer resources you need to help you to help you navigate this time. I attach a link below to a wonderful, soulful little book by William Bridges that I often pick up and recommend to clients.

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At least know that the tide might be going out right now...but perhaps there are treasures to be found in the sand.? And even if you only find rotting seaweed know that the tide will come back in.? It always does.

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Resources

William Bridges: Transitions - making sense of life's changes https://wmbridges.com/books/

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