Learning from Leaders & Friends

The benefit of experience is realizing what you know and what you don't know. Further, time gives you the chance to meet a lot of people. It is your "choice" to build chance meetings into relationships. Some leaders do it, some don't. The power of experience is bringing your relationships ... your network ... to life for the benefit of others.

That is what I tell my students at Stanford. I know there are some things I can teach them, and some things I can't. I either don't have the domain knowledge, or quite honestly, I tried something and failed. That is where my friends come in. I can introduce them to Goldman Sachs' CEO David Solomon, as a teacher. His value is two-fold: Goldman is a paragon for risk and culture and he can speak to that; as importantly, we can describe why he is there... the work we did together... how we stayed connected.

Look, you can have a career built on transactional relationships... or you can build one based on friendships.

This is how you do it:

• Communicate when you don't need anything, spend the time. With your team, allow for informality; and give feedback deeply and frequently. In the ecosystem, make the time to meet in person ... see them where they are. I spent 200 nights a year in hotel rooms. Building a network is a commitment.
• Be a good listener and a good advisor. This sounds trivial, but it really is a skillset. A good listener follows up on the lesson. Always come back to... "I heard you and this is what I did." That way, people will know you are not a user. A good advisor never says..."here is what you should do;” rather, good advice is "Here is what I would do if I were you." Context matters.
• Do favors without expectation. I always answered the calls of my friends. I was willing to take the extra meetings, travel on weekends, and pitch in to help. This becomes part of your style. To build a network, you can't be selfish.
• Be there for your friends on the worst days. Let's be real, it is easy to have friends as a CEO when things are good. But you need your friends when things are terrible. I tell young CEOs/founders about their boards... picture them on the bad days, not the good ones. Who will be standing with you? Not many. I have had a few bad days....l reordered my friendships.
• Forgive... and ask to be forgiven. This may be the toughest lesson. Business is hard, and sometimes you just piss people off and vice versa. I recently reconnected with a talented GE executive who left during the financial crisis. I was pissed. He went on to be very successful. I respected and admired him....it was up to me to build the bridge.

I have had the chance to see talent I nurtured to become great teachers on their own. Mike Mahoney worked with me at GE Healthcare; today he is the successful CEO at Boston Scientific. He schooled my students (and me) on the power of growth through M&A, and creating solutions for customers. When students become teachers we all benefit.

Today, I have a great network of friends. Early in your career, you make a choice... to be a "giver" or a "taker." Will you give fully of yourself to build a team, or do you suck up all the energy in your own selfishness. Be a giver.

To celebrate the joy and benefits of a strong network, I am recording a series of brief videos called "Leaders and Friends." These are meant to be informative and fun ... showing you the exchange of ideas between friends. We have posted two videos: Rafael Santana (CEO of Wabtec), where we discussed what he looks for in emerging leaders; and Jeff Zucker (long-time media CEO), where we talked about the importance of spotting trends. I hope you find value in these discussions (link).