Learning Chinese on CHEAT MODE
Learning foreign languages was always hard for me. I came to China with no knowledge of Chinese and no skills at learning a foreign language. Learning Chinese was one of the hardest things I ever did. It was the culture and not the language that became the biggest boundary for me. Learning grammar was easy for me, and Chinese didn’t really have grammar.
Understanding in my head that Chinese was more like speaking poetry than an academic paper was far harder than doing it in practice. I am not sure I was wise, but I learned to speak from living in China, and not in schools. The language only made sense to me in real life and never in classes. My goal was to actually understand the environment I was living in. Learning how others just came to China and fit in quickly, while still being cool, was beyond me.
Getting a standard education on this subject is probably not going to get the results you are seeking. Learning in your first class how to buy commemorative stamps at the post office is for the most part useless and the typical fare of Mandarin text books.
My own experiences with learning Chinese lead me to notice that the biggest growths in my language skills came from my mentality and how I was feeling, more than the Mandarin I knew or didn’t know. Sometimes I would find this big ball of anger in me that when I let it go, I could just speak and understand Mandarin so much better. You still will need basic classes to get a grasp of the rules for characters, and how to make your Chinese more beautiful. I just can’t learn that stuff until I have needed it in real life and have something to connect my learning to.
Learning how Chinese people use their tongues to speak is actually pretty straightforward. You will find Chinese people can’t say a whole set of sounds very clearly, with “Th” being the most glaring one to hear when Chinese people speak English. The “Th” sound is often changed to an “S” sound and this can create real confusion when you hear “Mouse” instead of “Mouth”. Trying to help Chinese people correct these sorts of speech oddities can be a nearly hopeless battle. The cause of this is pretty simple and it can help you speak better Chinese.
Most of the sounds that Mandarin speakers get wrong in English, are all caused by the same issue. Mandarin presses its tongue down and not up when making sounds. The “N”, “D”, “T”, “L”, “R”, and “TH” sounds all require pressing the tongue up, and often using the tip of the tongue to make for clearer sounds. To speak better Chinese just press your tongue down more and not up. The “N” sound will be more like having your tongue pressed against the bottom teeth, rather than the tip going into the top of the mouth. If you do this too strongly, you will have a DaShiTou (a fat tongue), and sound like you have a lisp like a 4-year-old child.
The throat is also the source of most vowel sounds, and not the gut like it is in English. Stress is placed in the throat, and so you will often hear more song like sounds, weaker voices, and more feminine lilts to people‘s speaking. Just like many singers, Chinese people will move their heads around to change their vocal cord length to adjust the pitch and delivery of certain sounds. Putting more stress in your throat, when speaking, and trying to bring out melody in your voice will help make your Chinese sound a bit more natural.
Speaking Chinese from the gut, makes one sound just like the typical newbie to the Chinese language. This stress in the throat is usually more gentle than in some other languages, where it seems like the person is about spitting all the time. Mandarin has a certain softness and melody to it. Be careful to not get it so strong you sound like an old Chinese man coughing up his excess cigarette smoking.
English is often spoken like a drum and each sound and pause to it is connected into a constant metronome like beat. Mandarin uses melodies to form its intonation. Intonation is often in 5 beats, where random noises can even be tossed into just fill up the needed beats. “La, Le, en, ah, etc”.
Chinese is a language you need to learn to sing a little. The sorts of songs that can be ideal for this can be children’s songs and very popular old songs. The challenge is not just to make the sounds, it is to face any sort of culture shock that arises, and getting more comfortable in almost “corny” like emotions that can seem utterly absurd to most. It is is a bit like learning to connect into America by singing country songs.
I personally like Chinese nursery rhythms and it probably can make me have the oddest intonation at times. Note: KTVs won’t usually have any pinyin to read from, so it can make learning Chinese in a KTV nearly impossible unless you already have a high Chinese level.
Dealing with the odd conversations in China that keep coming up, like with taxi drivers, is far easier to handle than it may seem. You have be proactive and not reactive. Just trying be human and as present as possible, and you might be able to make a more human connection that doesn’t seem like 2 robots talking to each-other.
A taxi driver that lives in the hyper present, can only engage you from the present and the reality of life. Their question will be pounding at you, and you won’t feel able to control the situation or really shift things. It is all predetermined. The taxi drivers aren’t asking the same questions like they are a machine, they are asking them like that because you are acting like a predetermined machine.
Nearly anyone that stays in China long enough will notice that taxi drivers and many Chinese people ask the same questions, in nearly the same order, in every encounter. You could practically just record your answers, and just hit pause and play as you are asked questions. This at first is often the best way to first learn some real Chinese and can be a fun time to communicate, with no real consequences for speaking poorly. The driver really wants to hear, and isn’t concerned at all with any mistakes you can make. This also can become a sort of unending nightmare that one can want to escape and can only bury yourself in your mobile phone, hoping you get ignored.
The questions you keep being asked are like personal ID information for being human to a Chinese person. They are trying to classify and understand you in the terms of what it is to be a human. Talking about your parents 3 sentences into introducing yourself would be considered very Human in Chinese culture.
When you live in China long enough and understand enough Chinese, you will be surprised how present minded and practical Chinese conversations can be. A one-hour long taxi ride talking about your digestive track would be perfectly possible, and probably really fun. Just talk about human things and people will know you are a human, and then they will stop asking you computer like questions. You can even talk about something crazy you saw recently and couldn’t understand.
The Chinese language expresses sympathy at a profoundly deep level, and using such language the way it is actually felt in Chinese can be felt almost embarrassing. In much the same way Chinese people are embarrassed by the outward physical openness of westerners, and can often even blush, the western mind is often doing the exact same thing when engaging with the more naked and warm internal feelings often expressed in subtle body language and tone of voice in the Chinese language.
Being loved by others with the same warmth as one expresses between ones parents or the closest person to you, can be rather embarrassing feeling. It feels paternal or even condescending. The reality is that human warmth is always expressed in parental like feelings, and its absolute concern for your physical and immediate safety. This doesn’t require any deep nuance to act on. It is just being present, aware, and showing concern for others. You don’t have to even act Chinese or put on some weird act. Just be warm, present, mindful and a little humble. They key here is to be seen as a human being, to feel and express warmth. It doesn’t matter so much about cultural traditions and customs. Well, cultured people can travel into any culture and thrive, and it requires almost no knowledge of that culture.
You can just practice that new song you learned in Chinese to a captive audience. Your Chinese will go to a whole new level after the first time you find yourself singing about how you love someone as much as a mouse loves rice. Remember to keep your tongue down and use your throat a little more. Finding culture, music and people that you can fundamentally respect and feel real warmth towards and from, can then take you to another level in communicating Chinese.