learn to "Unlearn"

   The very beginning of any learning in life is “Unlearning”. Unlearning is the process of letting go of old ideas, values, beliefs, and behaviors that no longer serve us to enhance the quality of life. Unlearning is the act of freeing and liberation, so that you are open to learning. It could be a behavior pattern or a habit.

When we discover that the direction we are heading to is wrong, then the foremost thing is to change the direction. we should not indulge in naive hope to letting it go by kidding our-self , and by thinking it would get better by itself. Human beings have the incredible ability to alter the course of their life. No other forms of life can do this, other creatures have to follow their instincts. In contrast human beings have the power of “choice”. Martin Fischer, an author’ says about it, “It is not hard to learn more, what is hard is to unlearn when you discover yourself wrong”.

To learn we have to empty our mind in order to open it for new things. In order to fill new tea in a cup we must empty it first to avoid bad taste. Because stripping the wall is the 70 % of the job and repainting it is only 30 %.We need to uninstall all those softwares which are creating problems, and causing nuisance. I am not talking about all those behaviors which are supporting, inherited from our forefathers, but about those which are limiting us to move on the ladder of life.

Humans are the complex combination of beliefs, values, convictions, and they reflect their cultures. In what surroundings they open their eyes, consider it as true irrationally. They don’t accept new patterns to adopt. These all elements are learnt, picked up from the environment, society and some of them are the part of their programming in the childhood. And this sort of programming was unconsciously. But remember we are not responsible for those things we adopted in childhood, in adulthood we are 100% responsible. Being Muslim we have faith in the process of accountability. Psychology has revealed to us that humans are completely and unavoidably are influenced by their ‘SURROUNDINGS’.

Our Holy Prophet (pbuh) also said about this,”A person is on the way of his intimate friend, so beware who you take as an intimate friend”. So at the end of the day you are as your friends are. We can not escape out of the influence of our surroundings, but we can change our environment by walking out. It means the process of learning is unconscious to some extent, but unlearning is 100 % conscious effort. We must admit that we have been conditioned to respond the events in a way we do. We have been taught “what to think”instead “how to think”. We have been taught to treat the life in such a trivial way. We are told to do marriages and funerals in such manner. We are told to go to school, to get the job and then find your perfect match, get married, have kids and again cycle goes on. We just see the crowed running , then we start chasing it without knowing where is it heading to? We do all things in conventional way. As a result our uniqueness and individuality have been killed during the process.

But my dear life is all about making right choices. What to do what not do, what to adopt and what to refuse. it’s never too late. Take a journey of your true “self”. Evaluate your all possessions, as you take care of your tangible possessions like lands, houses, real estate and bank balance, also take great care of your intangible possessions like beliefs, values, (Quran sometime use the word as “nafs”) and so called customs. Have a deep sense of your heritage, just keep those which are supporting you, and think which of them are to be escape out and which are to live with. which are not worthwhile just trash them. When you succeed to unlearn, now enjoy your freedom of thoughts and choices. Now you can make the decisions independently, without being victimized by the circumstances and cursing your destiny.

By unlearning you have a brand new mind, now keep an eye while pouring new ingredients in the form of beliefs and values. And take care of them as mother take care of her new baby.