Learn To Rise Above It - Avoid Being Knocked Off-Kilter

"Change is not made without inconvenience, even from worse to better," British theologian Richard Hooker stated in the 16th century. That observation may shed some light on vicissitude, a word that can refer simply to the fact of change, or an instance of it, but that often refers specifically to hardship or difficulty brought about by change. To survive "the vicissitudes of life" is thus to survive life's ups and downs, with special emphasis on the downs.?Vicissitude?is a descendant of the Latin noun?vicis, meaning "change" or "alternation," and it has been a part of the English language since the 16th century. In contemporary usage, it most often occurs in the plural.

When you adopt these seven mindsets, you will notice you feel less stressed and can move past any setback with ease.

1. Life's vicissitudes are part of the 3rd dimension

People often expect their lives and transactions to go smoothly. If we reserve a hotel room, we expect it will be available when we arrive. We expect clean water to come out of the tap. We expect that if we buy a product and it's faulty or not as described, we'll be able to return it. We expect the product we order will be the product that arrives.

We expect reliability, and we expect physical comfort (e.g., air conditioning, heat, water, food, etc). And this can extend to us also expecting emotional comfort. Perhaps it?is considered a birthright. However, the more people think of discomfort (of any kind) as something to be expected periodically, the easier it can be to navigate when it arises. It's helpful to think of these experiences as universal rather than personalized--i.e. Why me? It's not fair.?

2. Notice when you personalize experiences

During the?COVID-19 incident, people are lamenting, "I haven't seen my mother in over two years because of the pandemic. I live in the U.S, she lives in New Zealand, and their border is essentially closed. Many New Zealanders aren't personally affected by the border restrictions and are grateful?the border closures are keeping their lives COVID-free. Or so they think/expect. Then you might think, "No one cares about families like ours who are restricted by it--because of a belief that something bad will?transpire." When one thinks about what they don't want they are drawing to themselves what they?fear. The energy of the thoughts you think, the words you speak, and your feelings attract like energy. Fear attracts fear. Anger attracts anger. Fear about having a sickness draws the sickness to you.?This phenomenon might seem like a wild idea. Yet, this phenomenon has been known for centuries. As early as circa 391 BC, Plato, the Greek philosopher?stated, "Likes tend toward likes."??

3. Use self-compassion

We often admonish ourselves that we 'should' be able to handle blips, frustrations, disappointments, sadness, etc., better. You might think, "Other people wouldn't be rocked by this. Other people would take this in stride."?Self-Compassion assists you to see things in a different light.?

4. Understand what pushes your buttons

Cars and mechanical or electrical issues seem foreign to some people. Therefore, anything to do with those you might be out of your comfort zone. You might decide that your limited expertise to discover a car problem is better left to?a mechanic. Then, don't stress about it.

5. Avoid projecting bad news

In the car situation, it might be?a wire became detached versus your worst fear that you needed a new engine or a new?car. My grandson recently fixed the?connection on the roll-up window that was sticking. I thought I would need a new apparatus. He knew to disconnect and reconnect the connection. When unexpected issues come up, don't automatically expect they'll be difficult to address. Don't expect a string of bad luck, such as, "Bad luck comes in threes." What will be next? With that mindset, you are drawing more mishaps into your life.

6. Avoid leaving tasks until the last minute

In practical terms, you'll be less knocked off-kilter by things going wrong if you have backup plans and haven't left a task until the last minute. For example, if you get somewhere and they are out of stock of an item you need, it's a lot less stressful?if you have a few days to get it done. Then if you have a deadline to meet that day you won't be upset because things don't seem to work the way you planned to accomplish at the last minute.

7. "This is an opportunity to be skillful at....."

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, it's an opportunity to be skillful at something. Ask yourself what and how you can be skillful. Either come at it from the angle of getting to flex your strengths or?challenging a weakness.

You don't need to be a Pollyanna about everything that goes wrong. However, you can ask yourself, "What does this allow me to be skillful at?" Consider your strengths. How can you?use your strengths differently? Cars might be foreign to?you, but in general, getting things done and not getting ripped off can become a strength. You can also consider your weaknesses. If you are not good?at asking for help because you think people will see you as inadequate...they might be glad to help. And think of it this way....they might need your expertise for their need. This can be an opportunity to overcome your reluctance and ask your neighbor for help.

The bad news is a bummer. Things going wrong isn't fun, even when they're minor. But there are ways of handling such occurrences that will help you manage more effectively and avoid being knocked off-kilter.

About Dr. Dorothy:

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, Ph.D. is passionate about developing great leaders. She works with senior, emerging executives and entrepreneurs to amplify their leadership skills and drive viable/sustainable organizations with relevant, adaptable, centered, and authentic skills. International Best Selling Author, and?Speaker. Dr. Dorothy facilitates clearing blocks, fears, and limiting beliefs. You can live the life you desire. She brings awareness to concepts not typically obvious to one's thoughts and feelings.? https://drdorothyspeaks.com