Learn to recognize when it is time to slow down and take care of yourself.

Today marks the start of one my best friends/younger brother's journey. I share this because he was "too busy" with work to slow down and pay attention to his health.

Antone was 29 years old, newly dating the love of his life, managing a large company, and on top of the world. He was putting in 60 hours a week and thought his fatigue could be explained by that fact. I received a call that he was in the hospital for a kidney stone. The stone was too large to pass so they ran the usual blood work to prepare for operating to get the stone out. Our family friend, who is a cancer Physician at the hospital came to tell us that Antone's blood work came back extremely concerning. They had to do a bone marrow biopsy and found that he had Severe Aplastic Anemia. His white cells, red cells, and platelets were off the charts low and he would have passed away if he hadn't come in with the stone. We were given hope that since Antone had two siblings the odds for him being a candidate for a bone marrow transplant were 50%. Unfortunately my older brother and I were not a match. Years into blood transfusions, visits to NIH, acquiring cancer, deteriorating muscles, trials atSeattle cancer care, and UW a close match arrived. A young woman in Poland who was at a job fair and saw a table for "Be the Match," decided to join the registry. She ended up being the one to save my brothers life.

Antone has chronic grafts vs host disease and suffers daily but his strength and courage to face each day is mind blowing and inspirational. The biggest lessons I have learned from him is to know when it is time to slow down and listen to your body. We all get busy trying to get ahead in our careers and often make them the most important thing. We need to remember to take care of ourselves, look around us and care for/love the family and friends in our lives. You truly never know when your life can change in an instant. I wanted to share a few of my Antone's lessons from his 10 year journey in closing.

1.) "Take things One day at a time, one hour at a time and even one minute at a time when things re truly horrible or life threatening. Getting stuck with thoughts about the past and what could have been different waste valuable time and energy that could be used to fight through the current situation. Invest your energy into the current moment instead. Also, don’t allow yourself to be anxious about the future and things that may never happen. If you knew you weren’t going to survive today would you really wish you would have spent more time worrying/thinking about the future or living in the present moment? Practice mindfulness.?

2.) Think of a bad time as a passable phase that requires patience (eventually time will move you to a different phase) and tolerance (the ability to accept and adapt to the situation).

3.) Remember that it’s okay to have negative thoughts/emotions...it’s okay be sad, angry or express many other emotions.?You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t feel a variety of emotions through difficult times.?It’s important to recognize your different emotions as a normal part of the coping process and it can be healthy to vent about how you feel. Having people who can listen to you through your worst days is very helpful.?Just remember as you go through negative emotional moments not to allow yourself to linger in negativity and keep in mind the first 2 things that helped me out through difficult times....take things one step at a time, and remember that it’s just a temporary phase.?

4.) Remembering that things could always be worse has often helped me through the worst procedures and moments. As a man of faith I think about the details in the death of Jesus and the physical/emotional/mental pain he must have went through when being nailed to the cross. I’ve been through some disgusting, painful, horrible moments that left me completely overwhelmed but if I just put things in perspective every once in a while and thought about the sacrifice Jesus made I felt like I could always take on more until I stopped breathing and my heart stopped beating. It isn’t always a pleasant thought but it made me feel obligated and proud to take on the challenge of not only surviving but having a good attitude, and even smiling at times while doing it. I see the worst moments as opportunities to make God proud by allowing others see what you are going through and how you do it with a smile on your face. When they ask ‘how?’ I think it gives God great pleasure when I can respond with , ‘by recognizing that it could always be worse, knowing that many people are going through worse challenges right now and by God’s grace!’.

5.) Mind tricks are very helpful. This can be meditating, practicing mindfulness, finding healthy distractions through tough times or just getting creative to find ways to tell yourself to keep fighting through the tough times. I’ve definitely made tangible lifestyle changes over the years to help me but I’ve also gotten creative in ways of putting things in perspective.

Sometimes my motivation comes from imagining what others, especially my role models and loved ones?might say about me if they had a glimpse into my life...if I was struggling through the worst moments I could still Impress and motivate others by getting through the craziest of challenges with a good attitude. I could do things that they would not even want to Imagine and once again give credit to God. I want to be remembered as a loving, faith filled warrior and everyday I get the opportunity to do that.?I challenge myself to make sure that my wife and children ALWAYS say great things about me no matter how miserable and beat up I am. I want to be known as the best dad and husband ever to them regardless of my health challenges. I have literally been bleeding, sweating and much worse while giving unconditional love to my family and I think that is very important.?

I could list hundreds of things that helped me over the past 7 + years. My Faith has been most important, along with the family and friends there to support me through it all and make life worth living. Without those 3 things survival wouldn’t have been possible or worth it for me.?

Never give up...Fight and get creative in finding ways to cope and survive."