Learn about Elimination Communication

By Guest Author Maru Rojas

Maru came to us a year ago looking for an extra pair of respectful hands:?“As I was looking to return to work, I went through all the usual online agencies, local forums and nursery visits. After?interviewing many people who found it unusual to treat babies and toddlers with respect, we were starting to lose hope when I was introduced to Peaceful Learning.?Thanks to Lara and her wonderful team we found a nanny who had the calm and respectful approach we were looking for, and it came naturally for her to treat our daughter like a whole person. Both nannies we've worked?with fitted right into our family and nanny-share arrangement and we couldn't?be more grateful.”

Today, Maru would like to share her experience with elimination communication, which we are very curious to learn more about and something we?thought near impossible. Over to Maru!?...

Before I had my daughter in April 2018, I had always planned on using cloth nappies. When she was born however, the realities of co-parenting a new-born with little support (my family is still in Mexico, where I’m from) stalled my good intentions in their tracks.?

Ten weeks in, and concerned about the number of disposable nappies we were going through but not quite ready to double our wash load, I stumbled upon Elimination Communication. EC (as it is known), sounded too incredible to be true. The fundamentals are simple: this is what humans did (and still do in over 75 countries around the world) before disposable nappies were invented in the 1960s, based on the principle that, just like other mammals, babies are born with the instinct not to soil themselves.?

EC is the original human infant pottying method. It is a natural alternative to full-time diapering and a gentle, non-coercive way to respond to a baby’s elimination needs, from birth, which enables her to follow her instincts to not soil herself, her caretaker or her sleep space (Andrea Olson, Go Diaper Free, 2016).

The focus is on keeping babies clean and aware of their own bodily functions. If this approach is used there is no need for conventional potty training, as the child learns about toileting gradually, often from birth.?

EC can, and does, fit in with your lifestyle and personal situation. You can practice it full-time, part-time or occasionally and you can still use disposable nappies, cloth nappies, training pants or nothing at all depending on your approach. Contrary to common misconceptions, it doesn’t add extra stress, extra mess or extra work, nor is it reserved for stay-at-home parents or families who live in warm climates or rural areas. Within our family unit, EC meant taking the baby to the toilet a few times a day, more often at the weekends and never at night. It allowed me to finally switch to cloth nappies, eventually reduced the laundry to a weekly load and increased our awareness of her elimination needs – just like I know when she’s hungry or tired.?

I have been amazed at my daughter’s natural ability to stay dry and in awe of her mastery over her own body and the skills involved in toileting, at such a young age. By 13 months she was regularly dry during the day. I waited until she had mastered walking and ditched the nappies altogether by 16 months, always following her lead. I have found EC to be the most respectful and gentle approach to toileting, and by far the less stressful in the long term. Plus it fits naturally within our RIE and Montessori-based parenting approach.?

And what about childcare, I hear you say? This is where having a respectful and understanding nanny has really paid off. We’ve worked with two wonderful nannies from Peaceful Learning who straight away saw the benefits of practicing EC and took no longer than a week to get the hang of it. After all, who wouldn't be glad not to have to change a soiled nappy?

When our daughter was still using nappies, we asked that she was taken to the toilet at least twice per day, upon waking from a nap – making it no more labour intensive than regular nappy changes. By 12 months she was signing for the toilet regularly, so the nanny was able to take her upon request. At 18 months, she started verbalising when she needs to use the toilet and hasn’t had an accident after that first settling-in week.

?You can start with EC up until around 18 months – if you would like to learn more I am running classes in South East London and offering 1:1 consultations (online). If your child is 18 months or older and you feel you’ve “missed the boat”, I also teach a gentle non-coercive and respectful potty learning method.?

To find out more about the classes and services I offer, please visit?www.nappyfree.co.uk. You can get a?10% discount?off all tickets using the code PL10 (Potty learning classes are offered on a sliding scale, or “pay what you can afford”, so the discount is available only for the Supporter fee).?

?Maru Rojas is an artist, educator and Go Diaper Free Certified Consultant. Born and raised in Mexico, now living in Nunhead, South East London with her husband Joel, 20-month old daughter and their two pet rabbits Ramon and Mafalda.?

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