Learn to Adapt Your Listening

When it comes to listening, I’ve learned that one style does?not?fit all. Of course, that was not always clear to me as a listener. Over the years, I noticed that some people appreciated how I listened and came to me often. Others were left feeling frustrated or neglected by my listening. It was difficult to understand why some pursued me as a listener, and others didn’t. I wanted to do better, but identifying and breaking my behavior patterns eluded me, and there wasn’t a simple tool to help me develop a path to improve until I learned about Adaptive Listening?.

Put simply, Adaptive Listening is adapting the way you process and respond to meet the goals of the person speaking. If you’re unfamiliar with this new-and-improved way of listening at work, don’t worry.?Adaptive Listening: How to Cultivate Trust and Traction at Work?is?now available for preorder! Written by Duarte’s professional communication consultants?Maegan Stephens, PhD and?Nicole Lowenbraun, MS, CCC-SLP after three years of research and testing within Fortune 100 companies, this new model made me think about listening in a whole new way.

I realized I consistently listened with a focus on accomplishing something: making decisions, being productive, meeting deadlines. While that was?sometimes?what the person speaking to me needed at that moment, it wasn’t always. Adaptive Listening taught me the way I prefer to listen doesn’t always match the goals of the person speaking. As a leader, it was important that?everyone?I interacted with appreciated and valued how I listened to them.????

Adaptive Listening gave me that gift. It contains clear and actionable models that are easy to learn and remember. Now, not only can I catch myself when I’m misaligned with the person speaking, but I can also modify my behavior on the fly to give the person speaking what they need.

But here’s my favorite part about Adaptive Listening: there’s empathy at its roots. Because listening and empathy are among the most essential human skills driving day-to-day organizational performance, this model quickly connected with my mind?and?my heart.

Here are some tips to start your Adaptive Listening? journey:?

What is your S.A.I.D. Listening Style???

Identifying your Listening Style is a required first step to becoming an Adaptive Listener?. After all, you can’t adapt unless you know what you’re adapting?from. That’s why Adaptive Listening requires knowing the way you prefer to listen – your S.A.I.D. Listening Style. There are four: Support, Advance, Immerse, and Discern.?

I learned that my Listening Style is Advance. I listen with a heavy bias toward solving problems and making progress. Discern is a close second. When others speak, I default to thinking things like, “Is this the best approach to reach our goal?” or “Is this efficient?” or “Is the risk worth the reward?” With a combination of Advance and Discern Listening Styles, you can see why, left to my own devices, I tend to jump in with unsolicited advice. It was powerful to learn the characteristics and cautions of my S.A.I.D. Listening Style so I knew when to use it and avoid it.

In short, once you uncover your S.A.I.D. Listening Style, the real magic begins. So, if you’re unsure what your style is, take the?S.A.I.D. Listening Style Finder? to find out.?

What is their S.A.I.D. Listening Goal????

Knowing your S.A.I.D. Listening Style is only part of the Adaptive Listening model. You also have to know what the speaker needs from you – their S.A.I.D. Listening Goal. The good news is the Listening Goals mirror the Listening Styles: Support, Advance, Immerse, and Discern.

Thinking through how the speaker needs you to listen before the conversation is key because you’ll need to adapt what you think while you’re processing, what you say in response, and how you show up in the moment if your style doesn’t match their goal.

I used to question why anyone would speak with me if they didn’t want my advice. Now, thanks to Adaptive Listening, before any workplace interaction, I pause to ask myself, “What does the speaker need from me?” Sometimes, the answer is Advance Listening or Discern Listening, and I’m in my element! Sometimes, they need Immerse Listening or Support Listening, and I have to adapt.?

If you noticed, as I did, that you’re getting mixed reviews about your listening or that some speakers seem to seek out your listening while others avoid it, it’s time to become an Adaptive Listener. I’ve learned firsthand how listening with empathy can help an organization meet its goals. Next time you find yourself in a conversation, remember that the speaker has a purpose, too. If you learn to adapt your listening, you can give them what they need.

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Thanks for reading,??

Buy the book Adaptive Listening? or attend a workshop to learn more!?

Want to know more about storytelling in business? The expert communication consultants, creatives, trainers, and coaches at Duarte, Inc. are here to help. Whether you choose to learn from us or work with us, we’ll transform how you and your teams communicate using the Duarte Method?. Contact us to speak with a representative – we look forward to hearing from you!?

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