A Leap of Faith –Limiting Beliefs

A difficult background

Building self confidence is one of the hardest concepts to embrace. Our skills in self confidence are cultivated as we grow through our childhood and our experience of how we are brought up. This sets the tone of how you will show up in the world when faced with challenges to grow. As a coach the most common challenge my clients face is to unwind the beliefs they cultivated in their childhood. This in turns stops them from showing up at their very best.?Limiting beliefs are the underlying factor that individuals need to sit with to understand their next steps to achieving self-confidence and begin a journey of self-growth.

Being musically minded I always wanted to make a career out of song and dance alas times were a tad hard on the family as dad lost his business as the mass takeover of the supermarket chains thwarted the existence of the corner shop.?At 18 I left school with just A levels not knowing which path to take for the piece of the jigsaw that folks call the "career". With this background I always thought because I haven’t been educated at the top universities obtaining the best grades, this would limit my success and ultimately how far I would get. To add to that I stand at a Petite 4’11 frame so my height was always the butt of all jokes.

Going from one temping role to another feeling elated that with an increase in the pay packet with every assignment, I wanted to find a base, where I felt accepted and acknowledged; during those times living in south London (rife with blatant racism and sometimes threatening behaviour), didn’t help my self-esteem or confidence, having come through one of the roughest of boroughs of London.

During, my quest to find the ideal position I had some great opportunities along with trials to test my resilience from one extreme to another.

1. Joining a retail bank, where I encountered! 1st degree racism being the only non- white with a team of 15 women. I left after 6 months.
2. Then I joined a leading investment bank – high testerone environment; - It was not the place for me.
3. Some great opportunities at some fantastic institutions; I had the honour of working at Ove Arup leading construction engineers of the time – my salary was super competitive; I was earning more than some graduates at the time. But I was the youngest in the team – where the rest were 30 upwards. I needed more.

I finally landed a role at an insurance company in Canary Wharf. It ticked all the boxes.

Full training given, in an age group like mine most were graduates who had just come out of university. Within 18 months of joining the company, I was given the opportunity to present in front of 30 people we went to Ireland. Barely 20 at the time, my line manager at the time said he believed in me.

In my next role sitting in my annual appraisal my line manager asked me what holds you back from being your personal best?

I said my height and my education!

How did I work with my limiting beliefs?

?1. I was fortunate enough to report to a person who consistently believed in me,?sometimes pushing me to being hugely uncomfortable and pushing me to my limits.

2. By working in organisations, which allowed me to grow wings, and being able to express myself in a safe work environment, more importantly leaving environments that did not serve my purpose or allow for personal growth.

3. Having a strong inner belief and taking control of my destiny, ensuring I kept moving when those moments of procrastination reared their ugly heads deterring me from being my true authentic self.

?I defeated years of negative programing limited by my height, my education, of coming from the Indian corner store, from one of the worst boroughs of London to landing in prestigious organisations providing me with great opportunities where I have received much love and respect.

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What can you do identify your blocks?

IDENTIFY AND WRITE DOWN YOUR BELIEFS

To identify beliefs that are limiting you, start by writing down your general beliefs.

Write down beliefs about anything you feel strongly about and that influence your daily life. Group these into different categories like finances, family, relationships, or health.

Once you’ve done this, examine which ones are helping you grow, and which could be limiting you.

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2. ASSESS YOUR BEHAVIOR

Another approach you can take to identify limiting beliefs would be to assess your behaviour.

Think about scenarios where you’ve acted in negative or toxic ways and think about why. If you look closely at your toxic behaviours, you might discover that the underlying cause is limiting beliefs.

For instance, if you find it difficult to speak your mind when someone has offended you, you may possess the limiting belief that conflict is bad. This, in turn, could keep you from having truly intimate relationships as you’re unable to speak your mind and have healthy confrontations.

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3. WRITE DOWN AREAS WHERE YOU FEEL CHALLENGED

If you’ve noticed that you have recurring challenges in certain areas of your life, this could be indicative of limiting beliefs.

Perhaps you can’t seem to land a well-paid job, or you never have luck when it comes to love. These challenges may simply be the by-product of erroneous beliefs that you’ve adopted as truths.

As you go through each challenge you write down, also make a note of which of your beliefs pertain to that challenge. So, if you’re always struggling to make enough money, uncover what you think about money and how accessible it is to you.

The good thing about limiting beliefs is that you have the power to change them any time.

The suggestions below could help you successfully overcome any limiting beliefs you have. But you must be committed to the process.

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1. ORGANIZE YOUR ENVIRONMENT

Believe it or not, your environment can have an effect on your beliefs. Having a well-organized and spacious environment could improve your mental health and encourage positive thinking. When your environment is tidy, it gives you the space to think and gain more clarity.

It’s a good way of keeping positive energy flowing through your home and getting rid of negative ones. Hopefully, this will influence your mindset and help you focus on positive thoughts and beliefs.

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2. TRY MINIMALISM

Embracing minimalism can help you get rid of false beliefs that are holding you back.

The fundamentals of minimalism are clarity, honesty, and detaching from material things.[4]

For example, if you find that you’re addicted to cluttering your wardrobe with new clothing items, it could be because of limiting beliefs about your physical appearance. An example of such a belief would be “I’m not attractive unless I’m wearing the latest fashion.”

Seeing as minimalism is all about your mindset and resisting peer pressure, it could help you reverse limiting beliefs and embrace a more meaningful lifestyle.

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3. EXPLORE MORE

As mentioned earlier, limiting beliefs can be a result of being closed-minded. To help open your mind, learn to let curiosity lead you. When you give in to curiosity, you’re more likely to explore the world around you and break out of your comfort zone. What this can do is help expand your mind and make you challenge your beliefs.

Curiosity also creates opportunities for you to learn about other people’s beliefs and observe new ideas. Some ways to explore would be to have conversations with people who have different backgrounds than you.

Traveling is another effective method to try as it gives you the chance to engage with different cultures and ways of life.

4. COUNSELING

If you’re struggling to change your limiting beliefs on your own, you could benefit from the help of a therapist, coach or counsellor?

Author

Shally Bhalla

Corporatelifesolutions.com