Leap of Faith

In what I find a crazy, unexpected turn of events, my two-year-old daughter (Ally) became borderline obsessive about Spiderman. Yes, Spiderman. Before any other toddler-popular fictional characters such as Emma from The Wiggles, Bluey, or even Babyshark.

What started innocently enough, became a daily “I want to watch Spiderman!” request. And so naturally we watched a bit of Spiderman. And then something even more unexpected happened — this time to me. I slowly became consumed by it all.

The origins of her interest in Spiderman are sketchy. It’s unlikely to have come from me — I’m a neutral fan of Spiderman at best — which makes me one of the few 30-something males that hasn’t ever watched any of the numerous Spiderman (or any Marvel Universe) movies out since the turn of the century.

The movie that Ally took a keen interest in is ‘Into the Spiderverse’, a 2018 animated adaptation of Spiderman. Why this version of Spiderman? Well, this version looked the most kid friendly — on the flawed logic that it was animated.

Initially on the first few viewings, she didn’t seem to be all that interested in it — only able to watch small doses, only interested in scenes where Spiderman featured prominently. She would then get bored and request more typical two-year-old content, such as The Wiggles. But, with each passing day, she continued to show a renewed interest in Spiderman, and so we kept watching bits and pieces of the movie.

Because we were watching it in such small doses, and skipping most of the movie to only watch the action scenes, my impression of the movie was a mix between it being more entertaining than The Wiggles (in some ways), as well as anxiety-inducing, as I feared the action scenes would cause Ally to have nightmares.

The cinematography was absolutely stunning though — I loved the style, the blend of comic-in-jaw-dropping-animation, and the epic music. It was a very aesthetically pleasing movie to experience — even if in extremely fragmented pieces.

Over time, we started watching longer snippets of the movie as Ally’s attention span also started to expand. Ally’s appetite for non-action scenes also started to somehow increase, and so I started to piece together more and more of the movie.

I started to connect important early scenes developing characters and the plot to some of the fragmented scenes that came later in the movie that I had watched earlier. And then before I knew it, the flower had well and truly blossomed into a deeper appreciation of this movie that spawned this blog.

The world sometimes works in mysterious ways. The lessons that I have learnt from the movie came at exactly the moment that I needed it most. And so my interest in this movie grew as it grew for Ally. I’m guessing her interpretation and takeaways from the movie are far different from mine, but well, how do you know for sure? I guess time will tell.

And as I will reveal later in this article; in a lot of ways, I needed this movie.

?? (Warning: Spoiler alerts?below.)

"…Miles… (Miles:?…Uncle Aaron. This is my fault.) No Miles. I’m sorry. I wanted you to look up to me. I let you down, man, I let you down. You’re the best of all of us, Miles. You’re on your way. Just… keep going… just keep?going."

Eventually, I learnt about Uncle Aaron and Mile’s relationship. I learnt how much Miles looked up to Uncle Aaron. I learnt how in a world of unfair expectations, Uncle Aaron was the only person to treat Miles as Miles.

I also learnt about the estranged sibling relationship between Uncle Aaron and Mile’s father, Jefferson. I learnt that their trajectories somehow diverged — Aaron couldn’t escape the troubled street life, whereas Jefferson was able to choose a life of justice and order, through joining the police.

This scene was heartbreaking. It made me think about how cruel life can be. That some people win, some people lose. A unnecessarily-non-sensical-zero-sum game. I think about integrity and whether it is binary, and whether it can be non-binary; whether integrity is something you either have or don’t. Could a ‘villain’ like Uncle Aaron also be some sort of anti-hero I guess?

Uncle Aaron isn’t evil, he may have chosen a path that was bad, but he certainly retains and shows his humane side with Miles. This was never most evident then in Uncle Aaron’s final moments alive — from murderous villain about to make his kill, to his eventual shift in persona back to the loving uncle, that would ultimately lead to his demise.

Uncle Aaron’s final words say it all. His regret. His sorrow. His pain. His intentions that all went horribly wrong. But then, he finds the strength to give Miles one last piece of uplifting advice. Perhaps, Uncle Aaron regains his integrity in his last moments.

Miles is in many ways, what Uncle Aaron saw in himself when he was young and precarious. But I’ve also interpreted it in that Miles is the representation of ‘The Youth’ — in that we can all see ourselves in Miles. And in turn, because we are all imperfect, we can see a bit of Uncle Aaron in us too. Everyone is on their way somewhere. But it’s hard. Hard to start. Hard to go in the right direction. Hard to keep going. And that’s life.

"We are probably the only ones who… understand."

After tragically witnessing Uncle Aaron’s death, Miles is grieving and laments to the other Spider-heroes how no one can understand what he feels. But, the Spider-heroes all explain that they all have had to deal with the pain of losing their closest to death. That despite being superheroes, they cannot save everyone. And because they are essentially the same people but from parallel universes, there is no one else that is uniquely placed to understand Miles better than them.

But, deeper than that, I think that the message here is that you don’t need someone who is another version of you in a parallel universe to be able to relate to what you’re going through. Yet, and which has only gotten worse since the pandemic, I suspect many people have been left with this feeling of loneliness and isolation. That, what they are dealing with, no one else can relate to. That they have no one to turn to to help.

Sometimes you feel like you have the world on your shoulders, whether imagined or not. And you make excuses that the problems you have can only be solved by you, and that automatically discounts anyone else from being able to help. A type of self-sabotage.

I think as a startup founder, the feeling of loneliness and isolation hits far too close to home. And perhaps that was something for me when I first started. But nowadays, I don’t feel like this anymore. I belong in some close-knit and immensely supportive communities. And yet, there are numerous occasions where I can still feel like Miles. Like no one would understand or relate. Not enough to make a difference, at least.

The only way to truly know if what you believe is real or not, is to test it. Tell someone how you’re feeling. Do something. When Miles was wallowing in self-pity, it was probably the low-point of his character arc. It was only through realising that he was not alone, that he began to realise his potential.

"Look, sometimes… people drift apart, Miles. And I don’t want that to happen to us, okay? Look, I know I don’t always do what you need me to do or say what you need me to say, but I… I see this… this spark in you, it’s amazing, it’s why I push you. But it’s yours, and whatever you choose to do with it, you’ll be?great."

Jefferson uses a tough parental approach on Miles, and this naturally rubs Miles the wrong way. This approach is perhaps Jefferson’s way of trying to steer Miles from straying onto the wrong side of the road. He has already lost his brother this way, he probably cannot bear to see it happen to his own son. He clearly loves and cares deeply for Miles. He is just trying to be the dad that he believes Miles needs.

In one of those cruel ironies of life, the more that you care about someone, the more at risk that you are, to pushing them away. Often, you project how you would behave or want to be treated, without a regard to the fact that it is not your life to live. And because it is not your life to live, but indeed someone else’s, you cannot control how that life materialises. And so you overcompensate by trying to influence it externally too forcefully. This is highlighted by Jefferson’s words, “I see this… this spark in you, it’s amazing, it’s why I push you.” The forceful push instead erodes trust in the relationship between Miles and Jefferson, but also in Jefferson‘s own self.

I also see this in some form as a leader and manager in business. The overbearing manager that is pushing their staff too hard, that is micromanaging them in the fear that they‘ll stuff up. This ultimately causes burn out in terms of health but also in the staff’s relationship with the manager and business. Of course, all of this can be completely unintentional on the manager’s behalf, but the effects are the same — devastating.

Of course, it doesn’t matter what setting you think Jefferson’s thoughts relate to, ultimately, it comes down to miscommunication. Miscommunications are one of the most tragic things — you can have two willing people clash because of a misalignment, from a mistimed conversation or non-conversation. It’s tragic because the collective intention is usually so off the actual outcome. This is highlighted best by Jefferson, when he says, “I don’t always do what you need me to do or say what you need me to say…”. How many times have we ourselves said the same words to the people closest to us?

Ultimately, it is Jefferson relinquishing the hard approach, and instead, adopting a softer approach, that finally connects with Miles. Jefferson needed to be vulnerable and express how he truly felt in order to provide the final spark in Mile’s transformation. And perhaps also spark Jefferson’s own transformation into the best dad that he can be.

“That’s all it is Miles, a leap of?faith”

When Miles was challenged by Peter B. Parker to prove that he could become Spiderman and fails, Mile’s questioned Peter about when he would know that he’d be ready. Peter just responded with, “That’s all it is Miles, a leap of faith”.

Later in the movie, when Miles has realised his potential as Spiderman, and is urging Peter to go back to his universe and address his relationship issues, it’s Peter’s turn to feel doubt. “How do I know that I won’t mess it up again?”asks Peter before Mile’s reassures him that he won’t. Peter immediately realises the cue then that this is his moment to take that leap of faith.

A leap of faith. How many of us look to gather all the data before making a move forward? Or more commonly, hesitate to do anything at all because we feel we don’t have enough validation?

Ultimately, no one knows what tomorrow brings. Things that truly matter to you are the things that can hurt you the most. And it is that pain that can cause you to feel paralysed into inaction. To procrastinate. And ultimately, the truly important things that you know you need to do, are the things that feel scariest. Because we don’t know for certain that the positive outcome that we hope will actually happen. And the negative outcomes are too much to bear.

And therefore, it is a leap of faith to go do it — whether it is to quit your job to finally find space to find your true calling, to ask that person to spend the rest of their life with you, to take that opportunity overseas, etc.

That leap of faith feeling was when I quit my corporate career to fully commit to my first startup Akagu with my friend and co-founder, 7 years ago. And honestly, I still feel that leap of faith feeling almost daily building my third startup, Syncio.

There’s just simply not enough data and time to land on perfect answers. The problems also feel more important with more at stake as time goes by. I feel that I rely more and more on intuition in my decision making. And I feel more and more comfortable with it. But it absolutely still feels like a leap of faith.

And, just like founding startups, being a father also feels like a leap of faith on most days. A constant struggle to balance time horizons when deciding things for your child. I like to try and focus on the long-game, but there are so many variables involved in life, and in your own capability and judgment, that ultimately it is all a leap of faith. Or continually leaps of faith. You just have to back yourself and do. And things will sort themselves out. You’ll figure out the angles in time.

"Anyone can wear the?mask."

Ultimately, this movie gives me immense hope. Hope in humanity. It tells the story from one perspective (Miles), and yet it simultaneously is telling the story of everyone. That anyone can literally “wear the mask” and become a superhero.

But importantly, wearing the mask is not easy, it requires you to fully trust yourself, back yourself, and be the active agent in your life. That you need to trust in others, know that you do have people in your corner, that understand, or at least can lend you a shoulder for support. Trust, and take that leap of faith.

Ultimately, it comes down to you. The great news is that everyone has the potential. Everyone has the right to be the superhero in their story. And superhero doesn’t have to mean kicking some serious villain ass to save the world (or the entire universe). Superhero can mean being the most awesome parent you can be, or manager, or partner, friend, whatever. Your story, narrative, is up to you to write. That includes the mask that you put on.

My personal mission is actually to “Help people become the superhero of their life”. Inherent in that mission is the belief that everyone has the potential to be the superhero of their life. Imagine if everyone did become the superhero of their life? I think the world would be a much better place. And so naturally this message in the movie resonated. The entire movie resonated.

And, if I’m being honest to myself, this movie reminded me that I have to keep fighting to be the superhero of my own life. Unbeknownst to myself, I had slowly drifted away from my own core, until these repeated viewings of the movie, suddenly jolted me back to this realisation. And I think this is why, aside from the immensely curious situation playing out with my daughter, I was so moved by this movie.

So those are the main takeaways I got from the movie. The funny thing is, because I only watched it with Ally, I’ve never actually watched the movie entirely from start to finish. There are probably some scenes that I’ve never seen before just because we’ve skipped it or it never overlapped with the disjointed sessions that we did watch. I wonder what Ally got from the movie, if anything but the raw things that come from viewing things as a two-year-old toddler.

BONUS COINCIDENCE — the theme song “Sunflower” by Post Malone, was the song that constantly played on US radios when I was over in 2019. I had no idea this song was the theme for a Spiderman movie, let alone this Spiderman movie. That song reminds me most of my time in the US that year. And my time over there felt like a huge leap of faith moment. I look back at that time very, very fondly. A big part of that was that Ruby was also there with me to share those experiences, pregnant with Ally too.