Lean toward hate, or lean toward love

This is not a business-like article, but it's Monday, what the hell.

I want to tell you about a short moment in time.

On Saturday, at our local grocery, on the edge of Austin, Texas, Big Sprout, my teenage daughter, and I were reminded how the grocery store is a microcosm of America.

Just imagine a scene for a moment.

It's a busy Saturday morning at the grocery. The store is crowded, folks rushing here and there, everyone busy, focused.

Big Sprout and I are standing in the self-checkout line with a dozen last minute Halloween items.

Behind us, there's a shout.

"You f*cking wh*ore, go back to Africa!"

We whip around, and just behind, a petite, elegant, middle aged woman with dark skin, wearing a medical style mask, stands at her cart , head down, eyes averted, as a tall, muscled man with light skin, wearing a black mask, leans over her and spits at her, red-faced.

"You get the f*ck out of my country!"

He stomps off, fists swinging.

I turn to the HEB employee supervising the check-out systems, another middle aged woman. She's wide eyed.

"What the hell was that?" she asked.

"I don't know, but it was bad." I said.

At that moment, the guy comes charging back, shouting again at the small, frightened lady in line. He's standing next to me and my daughter, shaking in rage. This is a big guy, he's huge. And I'm thinking "I might have to protect my daughter here." I start looking around for something to use for defense.

"I'm going to f*ck you up!" he shouts.

I'm thinking about what to say. But he rushes off again.

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The HEB lady, the lady in line, my daughter and I, we're all shaken. The HEB employee starts calling for help. Big Sprout and I gather our things. The HEB employee and I walk over to the terrorized woman as she rings up her milk and eggs, to see how she is. We speak to her. From her accent, she's African. She tells us that she's a caregiver at a local hospital, and people are like this all the time.

I apologize to her, tell her not everyone feels like he does, and the kid and I walk out.

People are like this all the time. People are like this all the time. People are like this all the time.

I think about that on the way home.

I also think about how many people averted their eyes...pretended they were elsewhere....saw the attack as someone else's problem.

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The kid and I talk about this, and here's roughly what I said to her.

I don't have any illusions about America, we're a country where hate has a home. Americans have hated Natives and Irish, we have hated Italians and Poles, Japanese and Mexicans. Americans have hated Catholics and Muslims. Americans have hated anyone with a different mindset, a different creed, a different face.

I don't have any illusions that hate is confined to a single political party, or a particular age or class or educational status either. Hate exists all around us, even in a high-income, white bread shiny grocery store on the edge of one of the most progressive cities in America.

And I don't have any sense that most of America is filled with hate. Maybe hate consumes 1% of the population -- 3 million people or so. Maybe less, maybe more, who knows?

But hate has a home here.

And this little event reminds me of what we are, and where we are, and where we need to go.

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Though I've done this a thousand ways over the years, again, I'm standing up for acceptance, and appreciation, and respect, and gratitude, in the face of blind loathing, contempt, red-faced hate and threats of violence.

I'm standing with my black and Filipino, Chinese and Mexican friends...

for my friends trying to make a living with a Cambodian restaurant, or an Ethiopian restaurant...

for folks I once know, on a Native American reservation, scraping by...

with my friends who can't find jobs...

for my friends so disrupted by the pandemic they can hardly function...

for my friends who live in fear...

and yes, for my friends on all sides of the political spectrum, because I'm not going to tar anyone with a brush, lash out because of who you vote for, or assume anything about your beliefs. I'm here to value you, appreciate you, let you know you matter.

Given the choice, I lean toward love.

And I hope you will, I hope your friends will, and I hope the country will.

Good luck this week to everyone in America. I have a hunch it's going to be rough, but with the right mindset and choices, it doesn't have to be.